[fatewineroses]

He's six today and it's been two years since I've seen him. The adoption started out with the thought of being open, but after the last time I saw them...again on his birthday...briefly....they seem to have changed their mind and forgot to tell me.

I remember the day distinctly. He answered the door naked and then tumbled about the room, trying to impress me. Once his parents got him to put clothes on, he sat next to me and opened his gifts..facinated by the tape I had recorded for him reading the books I had brought.

He followed me around the room with big wide eyes...looking at me just like you would look at someone you *know* you know, but can't remember exactly where from. I don't know how he knew..but he knew.

And the last thing he asked me? He asked me to stay the whole day and go with him to his birthday party...and my heart broke when I had to tell him no...and it broke once again when I looked up at his parents to see the look on their faces that meant...well, it meant that that was the last time I saw him...two years ago on his birthday in his birthday suit.

But the good thing? The good thing is that he is alive. He is loved.

...and I know that with all of my heart and soul that I made the right decision.

Happy Birthday Rossman. I love you with all of my heart.

[MomTo1]

How sad and how beautiful!

I want to share something with you also. You said he knew you, though couldn't quite understand it. I have to tell you that I believe you. I am the mother to a little girl I adopted at birth. She saw her birthmom again when she was 2. There was no mistaken the recognition of her voice and the immediate bond between them. It was there. My husband and I both saw it and recognized it. We saw our daughter respond to her like she has never responded to anyone else, almost as if she was flirting with her birthmom. Her eye's lit up and there was just NO WAY anyone with any eye sight could have missed it. It was beautiful and touching!

Hugs to you during your difficult journey. I wish you peace.

[spiritwoman]

Hi,
I am working on an adoption book. It's an anthology of birthday writings from birthparents to the their children. I want to trace the healing process, the ups and downs over the years, and highlight the patterns in things that birthparents feel throughout the years. I would love to include this short piece if you would like to contribute to it. But, if this is a private feeling that you wanted to express, I can certainly understand that too. If interested, please email me at alyceahuebsch@hotmail.com.
Thanks,
Alycea