[supermom]

My son's father has never wanted anthing to do with him since we broke up. He has not seen him in over 2 years, and I have received no support. But, he will never agree to give up his rights because my judge never gives him anything. He gets slap after slap on the wrist. Also, he is vindictive and knows that he will be out of my life totally if he agrees. It is more of a control issue. My question, if I do go to try and terminate his rights, which I know is possible on the abandonment issue, and he then tries to start contact, will that mess everything up?

[vicrose]

I don't know about your state, but here in NY it seems as if they give these guys too many chances to start over with the parent-child relationship!! My ex-husband rarely sees the 2 children we have together, but he would never want to give up custody either, because that would mean he was losing control of our life. I mean please, we were divorced 10 years ago, and I remarried 5 years ago to someone else, but he still wants to say he's the Dad, even though he doesn't do anything for the kids. He has moved to another state and everything, but it's still that issue of control. Good luck!! But even if he does contest in court, you and I know that once a deadbeat, always a deadbeat, once they are made to pay a penny for the kids, they take off real fast!!!!! Sincerely, Brenda...

[jlcwc92300]

hello, from everything i have read and looked up, it shouldn't matter if he shows up after the papers are filed. because that is the date that it will go on the books as. so if you where to file today and if he showed up next week it shouldn't interfear. and yes i aggree 200% that they are way too easy on the "dead beat parents" and we are the ones that are left to "clean" up the mess. i know people make mastakes, but if your not willing to help fix it and some one else is they need to step out of the pic and let everyone live their lives as well as they see fit.
bye for now
Joy