[supermom]

My son is 4. He has not seen his birth father in over 2 years. I have not received a dime in over 3. I am married now to my son's "dad". My son is the one who made the decision to call him that. We qualify for a right termination, but I have to have my husband to adopt. He originally wanted to, but now he wants to wait because he is worried about what ifs? like if my son decides he wants his other father, etc... The birth father will never sign over his rights because of the freedom it would give me. We go to court soon, and the court will probably let him see my son again, even though it will only be one visit or two before he disappears again. That will mess up my son's whole world. I do not know what to do. He is going to be so confused, and my court refuses to acknowledge the birth father's problems. (we live in TN). He has a drug problem and several domestic assalut charges on his 12 year old nephew. Is there anything I can do to stop the visitation or something? I need some kind of advice on how to handle everything that is about to happen. I also need some help on understanding ny husband abd how to talk to him. It frustrates me because it was his idea to adopt, and now he doesn't want to, and he has no idea what it is doing to our child. My mother-in-law thinks it is a mistake because she wants him to adopt my son. She is also worried about what this will do. Any suggestions?