[brownmous]

My exhusband adopted my two children 6 years ago. We have since divorced and out of spite and anger over the divorce he took them and we're now in the courts again. The question I have is if there is ANY laws regarding divorce and the adoptive parents rights? I have a vague memory of our lawyer warning about divorce, but don't remember what it was.
Please help!!!!! My children have never been away from me and this is killing me! He's kept them on a military base where I can't get to them since June. I'm looking for any loophole! If not, I'll have to wait til Feb. And the longer the kids are with him, the better his chances of winning custody. PLEASE HELP!

[brownmous]

Thank you for the advice. I did contact the base and not only do they not want to get involved, they're protecting him! It's unbelievable to me! Not only did he take them, he's been nearly court martialed TWICE for theft and fraud, AND he got his current military housing by falsifying the housing request forms! (he claimed that the children and I were moving with him, when in fact he was moving his then girlfriend and her son into the housing. That's a big violation) But, that doesn't seem to matter to the base authorities.
Just in case it matters, he's in the coast guard stationed at Otis air force base in Cape Cod, MA. Thanks again.

[LilOne]

Ok by NO means am I a lawyer..or an expert or anything like that...But...Is it possible that they (the military) will not get involved because he actually is now their legal father?? When he signed those adoption papers...He gets all the rights that a "natural father" would have...That also includes the same ones that you get....Also is there a custody order in place??? If there is not that's another reason why people's hands are tied...They have no proof who is supposed to have the kids....
Let me try this....My daughter's father is on her b/c we are not married...if we were to split up...and he left with her...there would be NOTHING i could do..nothing the police could do...becuase he has all natural rights to her (same as your ex husband does) However if there was a court order stating I had physicaly custody of her...Then the police could order him to return her to me...
Just a few suggestions....Perhaps they will help...Are you having any contact with the children...Let us know!!


Lisa

[brownmous]

Actually, no, the reason the military isn't getting involved has nothing to do with the adoption. And, the military thing was only an aspect of my original post, not the issue. But, thank you for your suggestions.

[brownmous]

Adultry on base? Well, he WAS. They married in Oct. 2001, but moved onto the base in June 2001.
As to why the military wont get involved.........I have ideas, but that's all. I first contacted the executive officer of the base. I explained everything and he seemed to take it very seriously. The next thing I knew he was passing me off to my ex's chief. From there I was "stone walled". My guess is that he made up some story for his chief or they just got buddy-buddy. Either way they wont listen to me. I am very much aware that this could get him booted out of housing (as I'm sure you've guessed) It could also lead to a court martial. But it looks like nothing will come of it unless someone else turns him in. And, I don't have any contacts and am out of ideas of what to do from there.
The Feb. date is from the court. They're so backed up that it was the earliest date they could give me. If you have any other questions feel free to ask. Happy holidays!

[brownmous]

There's obviously been a misunderstanding. Let me answer your questions in order. #1- I DID go to my ex's commanding officer in the first place. That's the FIRST thing I did. I put in my last post that I'd been dealing with the executive officer and then my ex's chief.
#2 - How can I call it adultry when it isn't? I re-read my post and see why you're confused. I said that they were married in Oct. 2001, but had moved onto the base in June 2001. What I didn't write is that we weren't divorced until Oct. 2001. So, they moved onto base together while he and I were still married.
#3 - He didn't need divorce papers or custody papers in order to get the housing since, obviously, we weren't divorced yet. What he did was state on the paper work that the kids and I were moving with him. We weren't, so he knowingly lied to the housing office so that he could move his girlfriend and her son with him. They are married now, but weren't when they moved there. So you see, we were still married at that time so he didn't need any custody or divorce papers. They already had our marriage on record, so nothing else was needed. Since there was no custody arrangement with our divorce (it's not needed in Philadelphia) there's nothing for them to officially support.
As to going to the chaplain. That is indeed something I hadn't thought of. Mostly because if the exo doesn't have the power to deal with this, I don't see how the chaplain would. But, it couldn't hurt.
Now, it's my turn to hopefully not sound mean. Most of this could have been cleared up if you'd only read my posts more closely. I thought it was all pretty clear. I was a military wife for 10 years and do know how they work. Which is why I went to the executive officer first. I am confused though, how you say you know the military, but don't seem to know the difference between an executive officer and a chief. But, perhaps it's just that things get lost in the translation on these things. AND, I will be contacting the JAG office to see if they could help. I'd been lead to believe they would only help the active duty and dependents. Which, of course I'm neither.
But, either way I thank you for all of your suggestions and hope you're having a happy holiday!

[numbr1dbcksfan]

And..in addition to Moira's response....if there is no custody arrangement it goes back to the fact that he has the exact same rights as you do....since he is the adoptive parent. His rights are equal......so it wouldn't be considered kidnapping...How did he get the kids in the first place? What Im looking for is a reason that he would hide the kids....and if this is what he has done....why would you think that the court (in FEB. ) would look highly upon this?? If anything, I would think that it would make him look like the unreasonable party.....????