[TandSmom]

What are your thoughts on this? My daughter would like my husband to adopt her. Her bio father rarely sees her, he hardly calls, he hasn't paid support in a good 2 years and she is just hurt and feels rejected by him. She really has no interest in seeing him any more and wants my dh to adopt her. He has been around since she was 3, she is now 10. How should we proceed? My ex has previously signed off rights to his 3 daughters from his 1st marriage, so he has done this before. He is on his 3rd marriage now with a step-son of his own and a new bio son. I personally think the man needs to be fixed, but I can't make that a law! LOL

Any suggestions or advice on how to proceed would be greatly appreciated. I feel so bad for my dd and my ds, but he really doesn't express as much as she does. He keeps it to himself. But he has refused to go visit my ex, so I know he wouldn't have much of a problem with this. He would like to keep his last name, is that a possiblity? My husband now pays and takes care of everything for these children, as if they were his own bio kids. The only thing that would change would be the legality of it all and the name changes if necessary...

This is new to us and we are just exploring, so sorry if I ramble! LOL

Thanks in advance for any help and direction you are able to give.

We live in Ohio. We had a do-it-yourself divorce with shared parenting, so that I could just be divorced from him. He has never kept a job that long so forcing support was going to be useless, so I was trying to be nice by not doing that, with the implied that he would pay anyways. See what I get for trusting him?!!?!?

Thanks,
Mom in Ohio

[reneetaylor]

Hey Mom - go see an adoption attorney. You should be able to have the paperwork drawn up and the attorney can get your ex's signature on the relinquishment forms, or whatever else is needed. It doesn't sound like you'll have a problem with getting him to sign, so go for it. And speak with your son about the name change. He doesn't have to have it changed, but why on earth would he want to keep the last name of such a loser? It sounds like your current husband is a much better role model for your son to follow in the foot steps of.

I'm going through this right now and it is costing about $1000 to finalize. If you are good with legal jargon, then you might want to try it yourself and then you'll only have the $40 filing fee and a possibly a couple other inexpensive fees.

Good luck with everything.

Renee

[TandSmom]

Thanks Renee,

I will look into it after the holidays. We are recently in contact with the kids' half-sisters that were adopted 8 years ago. So that is a great thing to happen to the kids lately. We have not told the bio dad this though, I don't think he deserves to know about it.

I think the main reason my son wants to keep the last name is that all his friends know him that way. I think he's afraid of what they will say or whatever with the change. He's pre-teen, so image is everything right now! LOL

I found a sight that has do-it-yourself, but not sure if this would be something easy to do. The divorce wasn't too bad, as it was not complicated with a lot of estate splitting or whathaveyou.

We haven't discussed this with my ex yet, but I have discussed with him how much he is hurting them by not calling or saying he's coming and then not show up or cancel on them I hate when he does this to them! I grew up with a weekend dad and my dad was always there, every weekend, on-call or not, if he got called in to work, we went with him, so it was fun! He was there at our activities and such. Why can't every man be that responsible!?!?!?! I just couldn't imagine what my life would be like if I didn't see or speak to my children at least every couple of days. When they are away for more than that, I have to call them to see how they are. Luckily that has only been a couple of times...

Sorry to go on and on. I get long winded when I get worked up! LOL This man definitely infuriates me!! LOL

Good luck with your journey and I hope it's uneventful and quick as possible!

Thank goodness for men who love and are responsible, even if the children aren't biologically theirs! They all deserve Father of the Year Awards!!

Take Care,
Michelle

[reneetaylor]

Amen to that!