[Archive]

Originally Posted By becky

My husband of 3 years wants to adopt my son. He is going to start school this year and we want him under the same name. I'm having trouble finding anything on Mo. laws. The biological father pays child support but only because it is garnished and hasn't contacted us in over 3 years. Can anyone help me without costing us a fortune

[Archive]

Originally Posted By Kat

Paying child support, whether garnished or not, is considered 'contact'. Abandonment will probably not apply in your case since there is 'contact' of some kind. If the bio-father objects to the adoption, it is highly unlikely that a court will grant it, especially since he is paying support.

[Archive]

Originally Posted By Bruce Brown

Today I just completed a step-parent adoption of my step-son. The court heard our two petitions, each which has to be filed separately with a separate filing fee. The first petition you file is a Petition to Terminate Parental Rights on the basis of Abandonment. In that document you describe the contact and non-contact the biological father has had with the children. The tricky part of your argument relates to his garnished child support, but I think you stil have a great chance based on non-communication. You pay one filing fee for that one. The biological father is served a summons to appear at the hearing. If you don't know where he is you can ask to publish the notice in the newspaper and run it for three weeks. Then, at the same time, you and your husband file an adoption petition and pay another filing fee. Included in this adoption petition is an approval by you the mother for the adoption and a request by your husband to adopt. The adoption petition is pretty simple. The approval of the actual biological father is not needed when you prepare this form because you are filing this form assuming you'll win the first termination petition. (If you don't win the termination case, you're not going to get the adoption through.) Try to get the hearings scheduled back to back if the clerk will let you. Adoption clerks usually understand the need and desire for this. If the two motions are scheduled for the same day and if you loose the termination case, then the adoption case doesn't get heard. If you win the termination petition then the case moves on to the adoption part (They really seem to be all part of one hearing when you're there.) The whole process in court lasted us about 20 minutes, it was in private in the judges chambers, the biological father didn't show, so it was easy and a pleasant experience. I have the forms and I can get them to you if you desire. I used to practice law in California; but haven't since 1992, but the judge still complemented me on the filings, so I would hope they would work for you.

bbrown@cp-its.com

[Archive]

Originally Posted By Jen

I know I am not the person that you intended your response for, but I read through these boards a lot. I have a similar situation to many of the other people that post on these boards. I have a 5 year old daughter who only knows my husband as her father. I met him when she was six weeks old. We have been together ever since. He has always wanted to adopt her legally, but lawyers in our city have quoted us the upwards of $1,000. Although it would be well worth it to us, that figure is a little big for our budget. Also I don't know if it makes a difference legally, but she has my maiden name (although she has always used my married name) and on her birth certificate where father is listed it is blank. I know that a half blank birth certificate sounds horrible and I hope that doesn't make you think ill of me that is just the way it turned out. I am sure that you are a busy person, but I guess I just thought if you were offering the forms to this poster maybe I could see them too. Do you think that the required forms would be different from state to state? We live in Missouri. I thank you so much for taking the time to read this and I am very happy that everything turned out well for you and your family. Sincerely, Jen

[Archive]

Originally Posted By Jen

Sorry I should have changed the subject line. Thanks

[Archive]

Originally Posted By Bruce Brown

I do believe the forms will differ from state to state. However, your adoption may be much easier since the father is not on the birth certificate. In Minnesota, that would be reason enough not to require consent of the natural father to the adoption.

I'd recommend your first step would be to go to your local courthouse and ask if they have an adoption forms kit. If they don't, e-mail me back at bbrown@cp-its.com

[Archive]

Originally Posted By robbi

I would like to ask if you would be so kind as to send those forms to me as well. My situation is very similar to these other situations and I am really at a loss for where to start. I don't have the money to pay legal fees however, my husband and I are really anxious for him to adopt my sons. The biological doesn't communicate with them nor does he support them financially. He probably wouldn't give consent out of spite but I would really like to try to handle the proceedings myself. Please send me those forms. My e-mail address is mrsrobbi2@aol.com

[Archive]

Originally Posted By robbi

I would like to ask if you would be so kind as to send those forms to me as well. My situation is very similar to these other situations and I am really at a loss for where to start. I don't have the money to pay legal fees however, my husband and I are really anxious for him to adopt my sons. The biological doesn't communicate with them nor does he support them financially. He probably wouldn't give consent out of spite but I would really like to try to handle the proceedings myself. Please send me those forms. My e-mail address is mrsrobbi2@aol.com

[2bytwo]

I thank you so much for the reply to Becky because you have helped me, i am in the same situation where my husband wants to adopt my son. He has been there for the birth and all, he cut the cord thats how close he is with our son. The biological father has seen him 4 times in 2 years and now has left the state. I have no way to get a hold of him or do i know exactly where he went. We have not talked in 18 mnths and the last time the biological father saw my son he was drunk and high. We really want to have my husband adopt him but dont know how. We talked to a lawyer and he said we basically have no case. Is that true. I am crying for help my husband loves him so much and wants my son to be fully his what can we do? Please help us. Please email me or i will email you. I live in California and really dont know the laws that well.

[amorgan]

I have an 11 year old who my husband has wanted to adopt for 4 years now (since our marriage). He has raised her without any interruption from the biological father since she was 2. Here is the catch - I was a bit young when I had her and I should also mention "nieve". I just put a name of an ex-boyfriend on the birth certificate as the father because the lady from the hospital told me that I could not leave it blank. He is not the father and I have no idea where he is. The biological father took a DNA test when she was just a
few months old and stuck around for about a year and disappeared. He never paid support and I haven't seen him since, nor do I know of his whereabouts. What forms do I have to file and how difficult will this be taking into consideration the father's name on the birth certificate. Please advise.

[2bytwo]

Well i took bbrowns advise thinking that it would be easy and called the court for the petition forms to terminate rights the clerk asked for which code i need, i dont know i said but that was the only advise she wasable to give me. What help now i am discouraged and dont know what to do email bbroown maybe he can help or call a family law practitioner. I dont know i am stuck also. With not knowing the whereabouts or even if hes alive you can ask to post it the paper is what i heard. Good luck and hopefully if you are able to do this you can pass on the help to all us other people that need this help. Thank you and good luck.

[Melyfam]

I had a lot of trouble finding info when I first started. I am from Minnesota. The laws are so different everywhere. I will tell you one thing though. I called many many lawyers before I found the one I used. A lot of them told me I had no case and one told me that I was pretty stupid for even trying to do it. I could not beleive how mean some of them were. Usually the ones that charged an arm and a leg were the mean ones. I am willing to help you look up info for laws in your state. I know I really appreciated all the help I had. My ex was not in the picture and I could not find him. I searched all over for him. I planed on publishing the service but I could not find papers. When I found the lawyer I used he was willing to make payment arrangements. He also had a legal assistant in the office do most of the work so that it would not cost as much. The lawyer helped me document my search. We sent letters to his last known address and his parents address also. After doing this it set off some bad feelings. His parents were never in the picture either so I dont know why they were so mad about the whole thing. I would have understood if they had at least made an effort to see the boys but in 3 years they did not attempt once even though they knew exactly where I was. Anyway they must have forwarded the letter on to the bf because he showed up at my lawyers office. He asked about how he could get the back support he owed taken off and wanted to sign them over right away. But..... He still owed money to the county so he was very mad about that. He decided he didnt want to pay that so he took off. We tried serving him a week later with the adoption papers and notice of hearing. The address he gave my lawyer was bad. The judge finally approved the notice by publication. We had to publish the notice for three weeks in the paper of the county he last lived in. Then we had to wait 10 business days. then we had the court date. I was so nervous about him showing up even though there wasnt much of a chance for him to know unless he decided to call to see what was going on. Well that court date was almost 2 weeks ago and he didnt show up. The judge ruled abandonment and signed the adoption papers. I dont think he even knows that it is done. No one has heard from him since the time he was in my lawyers office. I am so happy it is over. It ended up costing me about 3000 after the fees and publishing. It would have been less if my ex would not have showed up asking them to rewrite the papers. That added an extra few hundred dollars. Also trying to serve him cost me extra. But it was worth the money. Besides some day he will be paying me back since the back support did not get taken off and he still owes me about 3500 dollars. BTW my boys are 3 1/2 and 5 1/2. They are soo happy about the adoption. they have wanted it for a long time. They have not seen their bf for about 3 years. He rarely ever paid childsupport. the only reason he did was because it was garnish from his wages. He would purposly get fired or quit to avoid paying. I really wish things like this were a little easier and there was more info out there. I mean you hear of so many judges not granting stepparent adoptions because the bio parent shows up and says they want to be envolved but then doesnt anyway. Usually the bp just wants to make the other parent suffer and so they play games. They never think of what they are doing to the child. The child should be the main focus not what is best for the parents. I do understand that there are some parents who want to change but they have to think about what is best for the child. If they have not been around for years it may be very hard for the child to accept that. I figure that my boys may want to meet their bf when they get older or at least know about him. I will give them any info they want and when they get older if they want to see him I will not stop them. It will be their choice. The thing is I really doubt their bf will want to have anything to do with them. But then again I may be wrong. Good luck to everyone and Let me know if I can help anyone. I will do what I can to help you find info.
Serina

[amorgan]

Thanks to all that have replied. It seems as though we will have a long tough road ahead of us. That's ok because at the end it will all be worth it. I was just curious after reading other postings. Is it true that if the bf has abandoned the child after 1 year that we don't have to go through with the petition to terminate parental rights?

[2bytwo]

I liked your question and have the same one bcause if that is true !praise the Lord! In california Orange county just to file is 260.00 dollars. so one less filing fee wil be good for me. If anyone has the answers to the question pleaaasssse reply we both want to know. It would be so much faster and better.

[Melyfam]

Here is some wording I found on a few California adoption law websites. Let me know if this is helpful. It does say that consent is not required with abandonment as long as the bio parent is notified or I think it said a diligent effort has been made to contact the bio parent.
Serina

http://quick-n-easylegaldocs.com/bodyadoption.htm

Who must consent to the adoption of a minor child?

Unless the court does not require it, a petition to adopt a child under age 18 may be granted only if:

1. The mother signed a written consent after the birth of the child.

2. The father signed a written consent that:
the child was conceived while he was married to the mother
the child is his by a previous adoption, or
the child has been established to be his by a court proceeding

3. If the child is older than 12 years, he or she has signed a written consent.


The court may choose not to require consent to an adoption if:

1. A parent has deserted a child without giving means of identification or has abandoned a child (a diligent effort must be made to notify the parent and get consent).

2. A parent who has been declared incapacitated by a court and for whom restoration of capacity is medically improbable.

3. A parent whose parental rights have been terminated by court order.

4. A legal guardian or custodian of a person to be adopted, other than a parent, who has failed to respond to a request for consent within 60 days or who, after examination by the court, is found to be withholding consent unreasonably.


Types of Adoptions: The question for those looking into adoption is not whether you should adopt, rather what method of adoption is best for you. There are approximately 12 different routes towards adoption, however we will address the two main types, step-parent adoption, independent adoption .and adult adoption.

Step Parent Adoptions: One of the most common types of adoption is the adoption of a child by a step-parent. In most states, both children and adults may be adopted. Adoption is the legal process whereby an adopted person's legal rights and duties towards his or her natural parent or parents are terminated, and similar rights and duties toward the person's adoptive parent or parents are assumed.

Symbolic Aspects: The effects of the steppaent adoption may be more important psychologically than legally. The legal process reinforces the feelings of "family" that a stepparent and child may share.
Legal Rights: A stepparent is not a legal guardian and has no right to sign permission slips for school or medical purposes. An adoption order gives a stepparent this right. He or she becomes the child's legal guardian jointly with his or her spouse.
Inheritance Rights: Children will have inheritance rights to their stepparent families' estates after legal adoption has taken place. The children will lose inheritance rights with the non-adopting natural parent after the adoption order is complete.



Here is some wording from another site
http://www.adoptionsolutions.com/gen...aws/ca_law.htm

Who Can Adopt?
Any adult can adopt, as long as they are at least10 years older than the adoptee. A court may waive the 10-year requirement if the adoption is by a stepparent or relative and if it is in the child's best interest.

If a spouse wants to adopt, the other spouse must give his/her consent, unless they are legally separated.

For the first ninety days after a child is freed for adoption and is being placed by an agency, the child may only be placed with a family of the same racial, ethnic, and cultural background. An exception to this rule may be made when the birth parents request it, when the child has an extraordinary physical or emotional need, or when such a policy would otherwise not be in the child's best interest. Religious background will also be considered.

Who Can Be Adopted?
Any child or adult can be adopted. This summary, however, applies to the adoption of unmarried minors.

Consent to Adoption
The following parties must consent to the adoption:1. the mother;
2. the man who is presumed to be the father by marriage or attempted marriage to the mother at the time of birth or within 300 days prior to birth; or has been legitimated as the father by other specified means;
3. Department of Social Services or county adoption agency, where parental consent
is not necessary; and
4. an adoptee who is over 12 years of age.
No consent is required in the following circumstances:
1. one parent has been awarded custody and the other parent has not communicated with nor paid support and care of the child for 1 year, then the custodial parent alone may consent, as long as the noncustodial parent is given notice of the hearing;
2. when parental rights have been terminated or the parent has voluntarily given up his or her rights to the child;
3. when the parent has deserted the child; or
4. when the parent has given up the child for adoption by relinquishing rights to the Department or a licensed agency.
The court shall order that relevant persons and agencies make efforts to identify the alleged natural father. Any potential natural father who is identified must be given notice of the hearing. After the natural father, or more than one natural father, is notified, they must claim paternity within thirty days and appear at the hearing or their parental rights will be terminated. If the natural father does appear in court, the court will determine if he is in fact the father and then determine if it is in the child's best interest for the father to retain his parental rights. If so, the father's consent will be required. If not, the court will terminate the father's parental rights.

If after making efforts, the court is unable to identify the natural father, the court will enter an order terminating the unknown father's parental rights. (This information regarding alleged father's rights is found in Sections 7610 to 7670 of the California Civil Code).

Regarding independent adoptions, any required consents may be withdrawn, until 90 days have passed, at which time the consent becomes permanent. A parent's relinquishment to an adoption agency, filed with the Department, is final. It may only be rescinded upon mutual agreement of the relinquishing parents and adoption agency.