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  #1  
Old 05-31-2011, 10:57 AM
marlaenabevans marlaenabevans is offline
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Thumbs down Stepparent adoption in Texas, please help.

Hi! I'm new to this site and was wondering if anyone could help me. I'm going to apologize in advance for the long post here so here goes. My husband and I were married over 15 yrs ago. We divorced and both remarried. His 2nd wife had a 16mo daughter and was 8 mths preggo with a son. They had my hubbys name put on the bc as she didnt know who the bdad was. While my hubby was in Iraq she concieved another son who she once again stated that she doesnt know who the bdad is and again my hubbys name was placed on the bc. In Aug 2010 their divorce was final and my husband was awarded sole custody of all 3 children with her only having supervised visits. This was due to their first hearing. She showed up at court, stated to the judge that she did not want to have to deal with the kids anymore, and then walking out. We remarried and I have been raising the children with him since. We have had very rare contact with their mother and she refuses to pay any child support. She also refuses to even speak to the children and has since October 2010. The AG filed for a hearing regarding the cs and she was served 2 wks ago. After she was notified that we have a hearing regarding the cs, she called us and faxed us a "Relinquishment of Parental Rights". I WOULD like to adopt the children and the two oldest (9 and 10) have asked me to adopt them, however, we go to court over the cs in 2 weeks. I don't understand why she would rather give up her rights than pay cs and I don't know what to expect.

Can anyone please give me some advice on this situation? Has anyone else run into anything like this? I am unsure of what we should do from here.
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  #2  
Old 05-31-2011, 12:52 PM
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zxczxcasdasd zxczxcasdasd is offline
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What is your concern/hold up? She is not in their lives, and they want you to adopt them...I don't understand the reservation or the questions. Are you more concerned with getting child support from her? I'm not trying to accuse you of anything, just trying to understand why you seem conflicted about something that seems pretty cut and dried.

Why are you unsure if the biological mother and the children are not?
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Old 05-31-2011, 03:30 PM
marlaenabevans marlaenabevans is offline
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I'm afraid that she is only wanting to relinquish rights so that she doesn't get ordered to pay child support. If this is the case, then I don't understand why she would put this over the kids if it's the only reason for doing it. It seemed like it was just all really sudden and up until the OAG served her, she said she wanted visitation rights. I just don't understand it and I don't want it to be something that later she (and possibly the kids) regret.
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Old 05-31-2011, 03:52 PM
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zxczxcasdasd zxczxcasdasd is offline
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You still seem hung up on the child support issue. I think you need to spend less time trying to imagine or figure out her motives and focus more on your life with the children and their best interests, and what's in YOUR heart. What are YOUR priorities? If their mother is willing to send, unasked for, a relinquishment of parental rights, just to avoid paying support- that's a pretty powerful rejection of her children in the name of money. If you were to be reluctant to adopt them because you would prefer to make her pay child support, it would be the same rejection in the name of money from a different angle. Hopefully, that's not the case.

For me, it was about security--that if something were to happen to my husband, that my son would be secure with me in our home, and that our legal reality would reflect the truth of our daily reality. The day it became official is a precious day to me. That's when I knew that nothing could separate us whatever came, and that I could take care of him whatever happened, because I had been given the parental rights of being his legal mother, and that was a good good thing for us.
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Old 05-31-2011, 04:02 PM
marlaenabevans marlaenabevans is offline
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I appreciate your point of view. I had not thought of it from that angle. I've been supporting these kids myself without any help from her, financially or otherwise, and I've been the one taking them to the psychiatrist and supporting them emotionally. I had not thought about what would happen if something happened to my dh and I should have as he is a disabled vet.

I love these kids more than anything and I just don't want them to be hurt anymore than they already have been. I personally saw no reason for a piece of paper that said that I'm their mom when that's what I've been all along but looking at it from your angle makes ALOT of sense. You are absolutely right, there is no point in my trying to make sense of her motive.Thank you for helping me with this.
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Old 05-31-2011, 04:06 PM
marlaenabevans marlaenabevans is offline
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Now the important thing. Figuring out what comes next...
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Old 05-31-2011, 07:42 PM
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zxczxcasdasd zxczxcasdasd is offline
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Best of luck.
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Old 07-01-2011, 10:23 PM
jaime0402 jaime0402 is offline
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I'm not sure why parents would rather forever sign over the rights to there children than to be required to pay child support but they do! Same thing happened to my adopted step daughter. She is going to be 4 in October and her bio mom is a real prize! She has seen her all of about 3 times since August of 2008! We asked her years ago to relinquish her rights as to save SD the trauma of having her pop in and out of her life when she felt like it etc and also to spare her witnessing her drug abuse, prostituting and other children she has that she doesn't care for. She always claimed to want to see her and that she was going to "show us" she was a good mommy and blah blah blah but it never happened and shortly after AG court a warrant was issued for her arrest, for non-payment of course, and luckily I work for the Sheriff's Dept and was able to expedite her stay at the county jail where she begged and pleaded to allow us to accept her signing over her rights in place of child support so she could get out of jail. Let me also say when she came in she was 7 months pregnant and high as a kite. So of course we didn't stop her from signing over her rights, that was last December and our adoption was just finalized June 21st
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