[taraprather]

Sorry, this is probably going to get long, but I'll make it as short as possible.
My son is 11 (going to be 12 in February). His father was around off and on until he was 2 then we didn't hear from him in years ( I met my husband when my son was 15 months old). When my son was 7 he was askiing a lot of questions about his father, so I decided to contact him, I found him at his old job and I met with him and decided to let him see our son again. He came around for 3 weeks, picking him up, bringing him for ice cream, showing up to baseball games, etc. After the 3rd week, nothing. No phone call or show, nothing. He disconnected his phone. My son was of course devastated. Now I do need to say that he has always called my husband daddy. So my son then began to realize what a low life his father really is (I've never talked bad about his father to him, EVER). My husband has always wanted to adopt my son and my son has been hesitant thinking his "father" would want to come back into his life. About 6 months ago my son came up to me and told me he wants "daddy' (my husband) to adopt him. So we got the ball rolling. We went up and got all the paper work and I started trying to find his father once again. I found his brother on facebook and he hasn't talked to his brother in years. So I finally found his mom and gave her my number for him to call. He called this past Tuesday. I gave him some bull about insurance and how I needed his address (I really just needed this to serve him). He gave it to me, then I told him that TJ wants my husband to be daddy and after a lot of consideration he agreed and said he'd meet me on Saturday at the bank to get the paper notarized. I was beyond estatic, so was my husband and son. Well this morning I get a message on facebook stating he was sorry but he couldn't do it, he would be signing his life away yadayadayada. I was devastated. He has 5 kids and from what I hear, he only sees 2 of them. I do get child support from him weekly (only because it comes directly out of his paycheck) but he hasn't seen him since he was 7 and that's only because I contacted HIM. So we still plan on going forward with it and fighting him, but do we have a chance? Since it's been so long since he seen him or had any contact with him whatsoever? Also, is there an age in Ohio where the child can decide? I'm devastated over this. Please help!

[LoveMyGirl]

A child of 12 must consent to the adoption unless the court determines the adoption is in the child's best interest to waive that requirement.


When Parental Consent is not Needed
Citation: Rev. Code § 3107.07

Consent to adoption is not required of any of the following:

• A parent who has failed without justifiable cause to communicate or provide support of the minor for a period of at least 1 year

The putative father if:

• He has failed to register with the putative father registry within 30 days of the minor's birth.

• The court finds that he is not the father of the minor, has willfully abandoned or failed to care for and support the minor, or has willfully abandoned the mother of the minor during her pregnancy.

• A parent who has entered into a voluntary permanent custody surrender agreement

• A parent whose parental rights have been terminated

• A parent who is married to the petitioner and supports the adoption

• The father of a minor if the minor is conceived as the result of the commission of rape by the father

• A legal guardian or guardian ad litem of an incompetent parent who is found to be withholding consent unreasonably

• Any legal guardian or custodian of the adopted person, other than a parent, who is found to be withholding consent unreasonably

• The spouse of the adopted person, if the failure of the spouse to consent is by reason of prolonged unexplained absence, unavailability, incapacity, or circumstances that make it impossible or unreasonably difficult to obtain the consent or refusal of the spouse

• Any parent, legal guardian, or other custodian in a foreign country, if the adopted person has been released for adoption pursuant to the laws of the country in which the person resides and the release of such person is in a form that satisfies the requirements of the immigration and naturalization service of the U.S. Department of Justice

• A juvenile court, agency, or person given notice of the petition that fails to file an objection to the petition within 14 days

• Any guardian, custodian, or other party who has temporary custody of the child

I do think that you would prevail in court. Our birthmom has only once "contacted" my daughter in going on 6 years. LB was 5 (now 8) and DOT mailed her a letter and a package in Feb of that year and a Valentines card in Mar of that year. She constantly posts about her children on FBook (4 children/4 fathers/she has no custody/contact with any of them) and plans she has with them and various stories of why they aren't living with her. However, the lack of any contact, as long as the custodial parent/legal guardian has not actively prevented contact, is enough according to my attorney.

But be careful. There have been cases in Ohio where accidental contact (running into each other by coincidence) and the missing parent speaks to the child and identifies themselves as the other parent and interacts with the child, has been upheld as contact, and the adoption was voided.