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Old 10-27-2009, 01:34 PM
brn_2_sng brn_2_sng is offline
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I want to adopt my husband's child

Hello! I haven't posted in here before, but I had a question that I thought someone might be able to answer! My husband has full legal custody of his 2 year old daughter. His ex-wife has visitation 3 weekends out of the month from friday evening until sunday afternoon. She is a dead-beat mom but seems to think that she has just as many rights toward the child as my husband even though she is the non-custodial parent. My husband would like for me to be able to adopt his daughter. Does anyone know if this is possible to do even if his ex-wife has visitation time? Like I said...she does not have any custody over the child. ( I's a strange case.) It's really hard to talk to parenting coordinators or lawyers about it, because it seems that they are all for the biological mother..even though she has no custody, never showed up for court when the custody battle was going on, and is just a dead-beat mom. Any suggestions???
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Old 10-27-2009, 02:18 PM
Longing2bMom Longing2bMom is offline
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My sister went through something similar with her ex-husband. Generally, the child has to be considered "abandoned" by the non-custodial parent before a step-parent can adopt without the parent's consent. It probably varies by state, but in California, the definition of abandoned is no-contact for at least a year. My sister just had to wait it out until her ex lost interest in visitation and stopped showing up (she knew he would eventually) and finally her husband was able to adopt. Her lawyer advised her to wait two years after visitation stopped (even though only one year was the minimum required) before filing paperwork. That way, if he showed up to fight the adoption in court, he would look even more deadbeatish (is that a word?) and have less of a chance of being able to prevent the adoption. He fought the adoption and lost. He not only didn't visit, he also never paid child support, so that may have helped my sister's case too.
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Old 10-27-2009, 03:19 PM
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RavenSong RavenSong is offline
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Even though your husband's ex-wife doesn't have physical custody of her daughter, she still retains her parental rights legally. If the daughter is staying with her for three weekends out of every month, there is no way you and your husband can claim child abandonment.

I just don't see how you'll be able to adopt your stepdaughter unless her mother voluntarily relinquishes her parental rights and consents to the adoption. Has your husband spoken with her yet about it?

What does not kill me, makes me stronger. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche, Twilight of the Idols, 1888, German Philosopher (1844-1900)

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Old 11-07-2009, 07:42 PM
jmomma jmomma is offline
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Does her mother visit only in your home or does she take her daughter to her home Friday evening until Sunday 3 weekends a month? Spending three weekends a month with her daughter she is showing significant interest in her.

Calling her a deadbeat mom doesn't fit with the little information you've given.
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