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Originally Posted By cassie

When i was 5 my dad left us, and i have never seen or herd from him sence. Now i'm 13 going to be 14 in a few months and i still havend herd or seen him. My mom had remarried a few years later, after my dad left, my new "father" who i feel is my real father wants to adopt me, and me to him. but it isn't allowed because my father won't let it happen, and he has NEVER payed child support, please help thanks alot. Cassie

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Originally Posted By veronica

hi I went through the same thing it was very hard and Ididn't no what to do well it is nice to know i am not the only one out there

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Originally Posted By LaVonne

Your mother needs to check into seeing if the law where u live allow u to be adopted after the absence parent been asbence more than 6 months. Ask her to check into that. I wish u well. God Bless

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Originally Posted By Ann

My son is in the same situation. I urge you 2 have your mom hire an attorney. My sons father won't sign consent papers for my husabnd to adopt so we are proceeding with adoption because it is considered abandonment for a biological father to go more than 6 months with out seeing his child. If there is a court order, ordering child support then he is failing to provide adequate support for his son. The judge can order the adoption to be granted under either of these conditions if they are not being met.
I wish you the best of luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Originally Posted By MEP

Cassie: This is a response I posted to another message on this board. I understand what your going throught. I waited till my (step) daughter was an adult (in the eyes of the law) till we proceded with my adoption of her. Since she is 18, we didn't need her bio-father's permission. I hope you don't have to wait that long, but I know that in some states it may take you till your 18! Its sad, but often true. I will pray for you and wish you and your "DAD!" the very best...

In June of this year, my step-daughter, Tessa, turned 18. ON her 18th birthday, my wife and I received a phone call from Tessa's bio-father stating that he wasn't going to continue to support Tessa. Legally, he wasn't obligated to do so. But a year prior, Tessa went to visit him and at that time, he told her that he was going to help her as long as she was in school. Tessa is a brilliant girl, she is only 18 and she is already a sophomore in COLLEGE! Well, her mother and I have been married for 5 years now and to make a long story short, I'm the only "DAD" she has ever had. I have taken care of everything she has ever needed since her mother and I got married. I told Tessa that if she never treated me as a "step" I would never treat her as a "step." With the exception of her calling me "Mark," Tessa has always referred to me as her "dad".

Well, after she found out that her FATHER...wasn't going to support her, that he had come to town only a month prior to her birthday (his sister had passed away and he came in for the funeral..and he didn't even tell her about that either) and he never tried to contact her to even say "hello," that he lied to her about helping her financially, and basically doesn't really care about her, the day after her 18th birthday, I told Tessa that when her mother and I got married, I had wanted to adopt her then. BUT for obvious reasons, I didn't even suggest it.

The day after her 18th birthday, and after she had cried herself to sleep over the events from her FATHER'S phone call, I suggested to Tessa about the idea of me adopting her. I fully explained to her that no matter what her decision about me adopting her would never change the way I feel about her. As far as I was concerned...SHE WAS MY DAUGHTER, legal or otherwise. But the decision to adopt had to be hers.

The next day, after Tessa thought about it and after she spent hours taking to her mom about it, she told her mom that she could think of a million reasons why she should let me adopt her and only one why she shouldn't...that being that it "might hurt her Father's feelings." My wife told her that her Father doesn't care about her feelings, so she should have to care about his.

Well, it took some time but YESTERDAY, 11/11/01...Tessa, My Wife and I signed the papers that will legally make Tessa, MY DAUGHTER. Since she is 18 and a legal adult, we don't NEED her bio-father's permission or consent.

She told my wife when I was out of ear-shot, "Now I have a real Daddy!" For the first time in 5 years, Tessa called me "DAD." Since I don't have any biological children...it was probably the happiest day of my life.

My wife sent me this email this morning...so I'll close with what is said:

Debbie Moon's first graders were discussing a picture of a family.
One little boy in the picture had a different color hair than the other
family members.

One child suggested that he was adopted and a little girl
said, "I know all about adoptions because I was adopted."
"What does it mean to be adopted?" asked another child.
"It means," said the girl,"that you grew in your mommy and daddy's heart instead of her tummy."
******

I want to adopt my 18 year old stepdaughter, how do I begin? We both are ready, I understand I don't need her bio-dad's permission (he has never met her and expressed he will not be in her life). I'm in Texas, if state law has anything to do with the process. I don't see the need for a lawyer if it's just a legal paperwork thing. I need to do this quickly to add some "wholeness" in her life and to me it just feels like the best thing I could ever do for her (I love being called Dad too).