[stepadoptionblog]

What's the most common question that your child has about stepparent adoption, and of course, what are your answers to them?

[KVR]

My kids are very excited about our impending adoption hearing and ask questions mainly about what will happen. They both want to voice their desires in court, and they have written letters to the judge expressing that the adoption is what they want. They do question what will happen if the adoption is not granted based on not being able to terminate the bio-mom's rights. My husband and I tell them that we will make a plan if that happens, and to stay positive.

[tgage]

It's been about 4-1/2 years since I adopted my 4 step-children and the biggest questions the had then and have had since is why their bio-dad didn't want them - why didn't he show up in Court and say no to the adoption.

Yes, they were happy when the adoption when through - especially the boys really wanted me to be their dad. But it was a bitter-sweet feeling because it was the last time that their bio-dad could actually do something to be a dad - which is what they wanted all along. My middle son (now almost 15 - was 10 at the time of the adoption) still sometimes wonders what was wrong with him that his bio-dad didn't want to be his dad. I've let him know MANY times that it wasn't him, but his bio-dad that had the problem.

I've had two of my kids that I adopted turn 18 and both have been contacted by their bio-dad (one direct and one through and aunt) to try to have a realtionship with them. We're sure that the bio-dad waited until they were 18 because he new that we'd stop him in his tracks with the kids under 18.

Both of the kids have said "no thanks - please stay away" - which is ok with me because they could bring their abusive family down upon the rest of us.

Tim