[kutphall]

Hi! Here is my scoop. I have been married to my husband for almost a year and a half now, and my ex-husband (my 5 year old daughter's biological father) has just announced that he wants to terminate his rights. We have sought an attorney with this, since the bf lives in Oklahoma. I have a few questions though...in our adoption paperwork there was nothing said about grandparent's rights. Will his parents be able to obtain a court order for visitation even though he is willingly terminating his rights to her? And also, we have tried to brooch the subject with our daughter, and she is okay with taking my husband's last name, but she still wants to keep her bf last name since that is the one she has known from birth. What would be the best way to approach this with her? Any help would be much appreciated!

[jsimon]

The grandparents rights are terminated along with the BF. Once he is no longer the father they are no longer the legal grandparents.

One thing to consider is hyphentating the last names. But, how aware is a 5 year old about the importance of a last name? If it is going to change, now would be the time since she has not been in school very long and her classmates certainly wouldnt notice the change at this age. One day she may wish she had the same last name as the rest of her family members.

My DD is 4 and she barely understands what is going on no matter how many times we try to explain it to her. But she has also never known her BF and she currently has my maiden name as her last name.

[kutphall]

Thank you so much for your reply...it was very helpful!

[jsimon]

You are very welcome!

[mackiedoobuzz]

certainly it is hard for them to understand the changes at that age, but I also have two going thru it. My two do not know their bio father anymore (they are four and five) and are just becoming clear on the fact that they have more than just a first name. They only know my married last name with my curent husband. It works well for us!