[MrsTC]

I would like some help. My husband would like to adopt my oldest son who is 6. My son has not seen his bio dad in over 2 years. CS payments have been very sporradic ever since the BF took me to court for visitation back in '01 (we were never married, but he is listed on the birth cert.). I know that the BF would not consent to my husband adopting my oldest. I'm also afraid....no, I KNOW that if I were to persue step-parent adoption, my ex would become violent. My husband and I spoke to a lawyer here in ATL a couple of years ago who specialized in contested adoption and she quoted us a minimum of $11k to do this (she came recommended by ALL the lawyers in the area). There is no way I could ever come up with a min of $11k.....any suggestions?? I'm not familiar with the laws in GA....

Thanks!

[familycircus]

I'm no expert, as I'm in a similar situation in GA. My ex husband has not paid child support since the divorce went through years ago. He dropped off my 2 children after visitation one day and never came back or contacted them. My husband and I went to a lawyer after almost 2 years of no contact/no cs, and it was very expensive. At that point we didn't know where he was so we were going to do a public notice. We got transferred to MO right before the papers were filed to terminate and do the adoption at the same time, so the lawyer said we couldn't do it in GA. Then we had to establish residency in MO for atleast 6 mos. before pursuing. When we finally were able to initiate it in MO we discovered he was a drug addict and in jail awaiting trial. We then were relocated BACK to GA and were advised that once they are in jail their rights are protected. I am trying to find out if anyone has info or experience with this. My husband wants to adopt them more than anything, and they both call him Dad. They are scared of bf and my son(9 1/2) has nightmares that he will come and kidnap him. My oldest (12 1/2) gets angry because she does not want his name and the school doesn't recognize her using my husband's name since it is not a legal change. We can't afford thousands of dollars in attorney fee's, but I know that if I contact bf in jail and ask him to terminate his rights he would refuse out of spite. I do know that when we went the 1st time to the lawyer we were told that one year of "financial abandonment" is grounds for termination in certain cases. In our case it is financial, emotional and physical abandonment, but again we are under the impression that his rights are more protected now because he is in jail, which I find ridiculous.
I would suggest that you petition yourself on the grounds of abandonment, but I think in cases where it would be contested you've got to have a lawyer to protect you.

[stepadoptionblog]

If he has not had contact with the child in over a year, and you have not received child support in the same time period you can file for TPR under abandonment.

In most states child support is still considered a form of contact and seen as the parent contributing to the child's life.

If there is currently no contact and little child support, would it perhaps be in the best interest of the situation to let sleeping dogs lie, so to speak? Does your ex have a history of documented violence? You could seek a TPR based on that as well if that is the case.

If the child support is a high amount you may be able to get your ex to sign over his rights in order to relieve his financial duties to the child.

Stepparent Adoption Blog