[mbsnodgrass68]

Ugh, my last thread I tried to post just erased itself so maybe that was a sign I was rambling. Moral of the story, I left my daughters bio-father in Texas when she was 8 mo old. Mind you I planned on returning, but after being removed from the environment realized I was in an abusive relationship, so I stayed in MO. My husband of 1 1/2 years, who was been my daughters "daddy" since she was about 18 mo wants to adopt her. Bio-father has never paid child support, I never got a court order, and has never made any attempts to see her. I do not know where bio-father is, but I do know that if I found him, he would not consent to my husband adopting my daughter. I am so lost as to where I even begin. I obviously want this to be as quick and painless for everybody as possible, but my daughter will be five in a month, and starting school next year. I would like her to have the same last name as the rest of our family, and I just don't know how to make that happen. Do I need an attorney? If so, does anyone localy have any suggestions? I presume it would have to be someone who specializes in family law, but I really am that naive, and just don't know. Just to let anyone know who might be able to help, what I have going in my favor is that he has not tried to contact us in 2 years. He has paid a grand total of 45 dollars to me since I have been in MO (July of 02). I have a recorded message from my voice mail where aside from other vulgarities directed at me, he renounced any claim to my daughter- however, I cannot prove that it is him other than him saying his full name. And lastly, a few years ago I was on government assistance, and the state was going to terminate my aid if I didn't let them go after him for child support. I was able to prove to the system that he was unfit and that he was a threat to both my daughter and myself so they did not persue him (I was worried that if he paid anything, I would have to to let him see her and that I might not get her back).
If I do not need an attorney, where do I go to get whatever forms I may need to file? Any help from anyone would be greatly appreciated, especially from anyone localy who may know more about MO law. TIA, Monica

[stepadoptionblog]

If you do not know where the birth father is, you can pursue a stepparent adoption with filing a public notice of the intent to adopt in the paper. The notice is run on average for thirty days, with an extra week to ten days after the last running to give the father time to respond. If no response is received by the courts, the adoption process will continue as though the absent parent has waived his or her rights to contest and a court date will be set for the adoption hearing. Getting a lawyer is always the best way to go as you want to make sure everything is done correctly so it is all 100% legal and binding. Most likely you will not even need the voice message that you have.

Call a local attorney and ask for a free consultation. Let them know you are interested in a stepparent adoption based on the grounds of abandonment and do not know the current whereabouts of the father. Each state has different small steps that must be taken in the initial stages of the adoption process, and the lawyer will let you know what that is durning the initial consultation. Most lawyers give a free consultation for the first visit so feel free to visit more than one, before you decide to stat shelling out money to anyone. Just because one charges alot of money does not mean they all do. Someare quite willing to let you do some of the leg work to save you money and them time!

Stepparent Adoption Blog