[laure718]

I Need Help---my Ex Wants To Terminate His Rights To My Daughter And My Husband Wants To Adopt Her...

Do I File The Papers For The Termination With The Adoption

Or

Does He Do It

My Only Question Is -is That I Don't Want Later In Life Have My Daughter Want To Contact Him And Ask Questions And He Say "your Mother Filed The Papers" And Then She Gets Mad At Me---thats Why I'm Figuring If He Is That Serious Let Him Make The First Move---

What Do You All Think???? Need Advice

[AwaitingBeloved]

I don't think it matters who files. I think I'd agree with you though, if he's that serious, let him do it. I don't know what has to be in place on your end though, if anything. For some reason I think the adoption papers (for the step parent adoption) should be in place, but I may be wrong.

My friend just did this last week. Her child's father signed surrenders so her fiance could adopt her. He signed the forms and she filed them. And she's been in touch with the office that will be handling this for them and the office is helping her through.

He signed the surrenders and I believe she's submitting them with the forms for intent to adopt. Actually, now that I think about it, I think that's how she has to do it.

So.... I'm changing my answer. LOL! I think you might have to file them.

[stepadoptionblog]

You should file an order for a TPR (termmination of parental rights) he will be served and have a certain amount of time (usually 30 days) to respond to the courts. If he consents to the adoption he just signs the papers and sends them back. THen you can file for a petition of stepparent adoption.

Even if he comes back later on and says "well your mother filed" you can always say that he consented to the adoption and did not fight, so does it really matter who filed the papers when he willingly signed them?