[ande1972]

Hi,

I'm looking for some advice or direction with a unique adoption situation. I have a son who is now 8 years old. My husband (from whom I am now separated) is the only father he has known. We began dating when my son was about 8 months old and he was always called him dad and used his last name. He does know that my husband is not his biological father. We also had a son together who is now 5 years old.



Our intent was always for him to adopt my son but it was never a big issue until about a year ago when we separated. My husband would still like to adopt my son and I’m all for it. Unfortunately, we have been told by more than one lawyer that we cannot do this now that we are separated. He is a wonderful father and both of the kids love him very much. Things just didn’t work out between us.



My feeling is that he should still be allowed to adopt my son since he has been his dad for the last 8 years. My son goes to visit every other weekend (and more often since he lives just down the street from us) the same as his brother and still uses my husbands last name most of the time.



Is there anything I can do to have this adoption happen, short of reconciling with my husband and moving back with him?



Thanks for the help!

Andrea

[crabcakes]

My answer would be YES, but it would no longer fall under a stepparent adoption. I think if he files an independent adoption petition and as long as you, the custodial mother sharing custody and the biological father consents, you should have no problem. I would suggest asking more attorneys - what state are you in?

[ande1972]

I'm in Ohio. The biological father is not involved, not listed on the birth certificate and we have not had any contact since I was pregnant. Should I look for an attorney that specializes in adoptions? Both of the lawyers that we have consulted are divorce attorneys.
Thanks!
Andrea

[crabcakes]

Definitely ask an adoption attorney. In CA, adoption attorneys and family/divorce attorneys are heard in different jurisdictions and many family attorneys are not familiar with adoption codes. Good Luck.