[amamiller]

I am a mother of 2 boys 12 and 5 years old whom both have my maiden name. My husband is adopting my 5 yr old (the 12 year old will decide later if he wants to be adopted) the 5 year old dont want to change his name, and i dont know if i want him to either since both of my kids have that name. But some of my family members say that I should do it anyway as to not hurt my husbands feelings. My husband says he dont care either way but they say he's probably not being truthful. So im not sure what to do here.......any suggestions??

[tgage]

I'd say that you need to have a real discussion with your husband. I adopted my 4 step-children not so much for the name change, but so that they'd never have to worry about who their father was and we'd have some peace of mind if any thing ever happened to my wife.

Of course, my two youngest boys (then 8 and 9) started calling me "dad" as soon as my dw and I were engaged and my oldest boy (then 12) started calling me "dad" right after we were married. My daughter (then 14) - well, that's another story (shakes head...)

I would say that you and your dh need to talk this out and also talk with your 12 y/o son. The work (and $$$) of adoption one child is about the same as two.

Tim