[cowgirl00fscc]

I need some advice on how to tell our 6 1/2 year old son some of the details of his adoption.

Here is the story...
I divorced his father before he was a year old. He was a very violent person towards me, and on the 1st occasion he tried to be violent towards my son I left him. The bio father has done nothing but be a pain in our sides since the day I left, dragging me into court every 6 months to see my son. The only time I have denied him unsupervised visits was after he tried to run me over with his car, and drove off with my child half buckled in his carseat with the car door open, and when my son would come home with headlice after every visit (including 2 hr visits) for 3 weeks(this was before the child was 1 year old), as well as one time they admited to hitting him in the face for not leaving the dishwasher alone. But the biodad was never denied the ability to see him, just not unsupervised.
Then when the court would tell him that he could see him unsupervised or supervised (different answers for different court hearings) he would show 1 or 2 times then go away and not make any contact again until he would drag me back to court again in 6 months.
Well, the biodad has in the mean time had 2 more children and my son very much wants to have a relationship with his sisters. I know my exhusband is still very violent, to his current girlfriend and his children. She has had him put in jail for assult. There have been several convictions in the past 2 or 3 years for drugs and well as aggervated sexual battery.(he is a sexual offender in Kansas)
I got married in September of 2004. The ex took us back to court in October because we moved 2 hours away from him, for our new jobs. when we went to court in October(6 month mark) the judge had finally decided that he had had enough of my ex's cr@p, and told him if he wanted to see the child he could drive the 2 hours to our house and my husband could supervise the visits. He got mad and started yelling at the judge, telling him that I was just trying to control him and bla bla bla. The judge put it back into his court and told him if he wanted to see the child he could drive-it was his decision.
He showed up one time in October right after the court date. Called 2 weeks later on my son's birthday(1st time ever) then not a word from him again until he got arrested for not paying his childsupport. He approached my attorney to relenquish his rights.(thinking he would not be held liable for back childsupport)Of course we let him sign off rights to our son, and my husband is adopting him. However, this is about 6 months from the last time we were in court, and our son is talking about his biodad and his sisters(mainly his sisters)again. My husband and I have talked to him about adoption a little, but he is a very smart child and has obviously been through a huge amount of stress that no child needs. We have told him the only change he is really going to notice is his last name is going to change. He has wanted to change his last name to match ours since my husband and I got married, and we put him off telling him that he would need to ask him "real"dad(we always refer to the biodad by his 1st name) for permission, at the right time. We have always told him we would let him know when the right time is. He is very excited about this. We are just perplexed as to what to say to lessen the pain-and how to say it. WE ARE ONLY WANTING TO BE HONEST! JUST NOT HURTFUL.

Sorry, don't mean to drag this out!