[julienjeremy]

my husband want to adopt my son, but the biological father will not consent.....because he doesn't like my husband....but he doesn't even care about his son, never comes, around never calls, suppose to pay child support but i have not seen any money yet, and it really makes me mad because before i can petition the court to terminate the biological fathers rights it has to be 6 months without any contact or 6 months and no child support, i think that if those visits are just to stop by for 5 minutes every 2 or 3 months they shouldn't count and why should my baby boy have to wait 6 months for his child support, these laws are ridiculous when i can prove that that jerk doesn't care about his son period he just does things every now and then just enough to where we can't make a petition, does anyone out there have any advice about what i can do????????? theres nothing in this world that me and my husband want more in this world so i am open for any advice!
please give me some advice!

[mattandjen]

Have you contacted an attorney? If I may suggest, set up a consultation. They can tell you more about the statutes of the law in your state.
Good luck!

[tgage]

I agree with the poster above. There are some very unique and creative ways that the laws in each state can be applied to a specific case.

When I adopted my 4 step-children, we had an attorney (not very knowlegable about family law) tell us that we had to have my dw's ex's signature before I could adopt the kids. Then I read up on the abandonment law and saw something similar - 6 months, no contact, etc...

THEN, I read up on the required notice and the required response time and such and found my way to do the adoption.

You really need to check the specific laws in your state - either become the expert yourself and/or hire and attorney to be that expert.

Tim

[LadyBugz]

Tim,


Understanding that you are talking about your state and aren't an attorney, I would like to know what you are referring to with required notice so that I can look it up in mine.

Are you referring to the fact that you could do alternative service (newspaper, at a last known address, etc) knowing that the bdad wouldn't get the papers and you could proceed without his even knowing about it? If so, that is what we are looking into now (as we are in much the same position as the OP). If not, I am curious so I know another avenue I could look into.

TIA,
Mary

****************
JulienJeremy,

The courts (at least around here) are VERY hesitant to terminate parental rights. I believe (but wouldn't swear) that they must assume by law that it is in the child's best interest to not have parental rights terminated, and you have the burden of proof of proving why your situation is not the norm. I doubt seriously that 6 months no contact/no support is the only way to terminate rights. Abuse, neglect, etc could be handled much faster. But as a generalization, they probably believe that there is still hope for the future as long as he comes around twice a year, and therefore it is in the child's best interest to keep parental rights intact.

That said, it isn't my opinion. I think every case should be looked at individually without a legal predjudice. In mine, for example, he was taking her regularly for visitation (3x a wk), but in that short time managed to be so emotionally abusive that my 3 yo is diagnosed w/ depression. No joke. He takes her only to be able to see me at the beginning and end. I don't have anyone else to take her in my place. The courts have granted me protective orders saying abuse has happened and is likely to occur again. He keeps breaking it. He's now a fugitive and hasn't seen her since Jan. I've lost track of the times he's in and out of jail and has warrants out for him. But if he shows back up, visitation is supposed to happen as if none of this occured because it is in her best interest. I disagree. She has done SO well since his recent disappearance. Her step-dad has been her Daddy since she was an infant. But right now, we just can't do anything. It is SO frustrating! So even though I have no advice, I'd like to let you know that I understand where you are coming from and wish you the best.

-Mary

[tgage]

the thing to look up in your state is who is required to be notified about the pending adoption and what they need to do (and how long they have to do it) in order to contest the adoption.

In Utah, if you provide someone with legal notice (by service of process, certified letter, public notification) and then they don't respond within the required time, the adoption can go forward without their consent.

So, yes consent is an issue, but you can effectively by-pass the need for consent if the person is notified and then doesn't respond.

Of course, check your particular state's laws - they can be complex and weeding through them takes some dedication to understanding them.

tim