[TexasVampman]

I have been married to my wife for almost 3 years now. When we met she had 2 children from 2 different men. Both of the fathers were gone before the births. Niether of the fathers were put on the birth certificate, nor have they come around since the births, no contact what so ever. Now I would like to adopt my 2 step-daughters and would like to know if any one has any ideas on the best way to do this with these circumstances. Also, we live in Texas.

[TXMommy1121]

Ok, I have a close family friend, in pretty much the exact same situation. In their case, they just went down and put his name on the birth certificate. They also live here in TX. The only downfall to this that I have heard of, is if the mother recieved any type of foodstamps, or TANF, you will wind up paying all of that back to them, which at times can be much more costly than the adoption fee's.

[Canard de mère]

Use caution if you decide to edit the BC without going through the proper channels- If either BFather decides to show his face the court would look VERY unfavorably upon you for being "deceptive" and could be overly generous towards the Bf since you took away his right to CHOOSE to allow the adoption.

[DianeS]

Do not be party to the deception of altering the birth certificate with information you know to be false.

It'll take some money, but the best thing to do is to contact a lawyer and adopt the children. There may even be forms available for you to use, at the courthouse.

Without any contact from the childrens' biological fathers, it'll be extremely easy. Mom provides their names (if they're known) and any previously-correct contact information for them. The lawyer contacts the men and asks them to sign away their rights. (Probably reminding them of child support laws should they refuse.) Most absentee fathers sign.

If the men can't be found, the lawyer will advertise for them. If they don't respond, the lawyer will have papers to fill out testifying he performed a reasonable search for them and they couldn't be found.

Then you take the signatures or proof of unsuccessful search to the court, and the judge terminates the rights of the biological fathers and lets you adopt the children.

All completely legal and above-board, no deception, no falsifying documents, the biological fathers have had their rights completely and totally removed by the courts and they can't do anything at all any time in the future, and the children are yours in the eyes of the law.

[Andrea49120]

Oh, this is good news, I am in almost the same exact situation, I have been trying to get my husband to be able to adopt my son for 2 years now and no luck anywhere. Maybe I will just try this approach and see what happens...

[desertdad]

I want to echo DianeS' reply ... do it right so you there are no future problems. It is worth the effort and cost, and this should not be too trouble filled. My wife adopted our three youngest when we married (I was widowed, and the children had been adopted by myself and my first wife). I strongly believe it has been so much better for the kids to have a "mom" without a "step" anywhere in the conversation.

[ginaarmien]

You can also check out a paralegal in your area to file forms for you. You'll have to do the search yourself. Most courts accept the $35 internet searches (like what they offer on all the white page listings) but it will be less expensive than a lawyer.

You shoulde also contact any of their family members, etc. to try to track them down. Chances are they will want to sign over their rights to avoid child support and if they'll just sign it over you won't have to pay for the publication in the newspaper.

My daughter's bio-dad was not on her birth certificate and my husband just adopted her. We terminated his rights so he can't come back later and fight it.

Good luck!