[birdwoman1970]

I have a problem I hope someone can help me with. I live in New York state. My ex-husband is incarcerated for first and third degree felony assault charge on my son. He is serving a 7-14 year sentence for his conviction. I have sole custody and he was issued a permenent order of protection against him. I am now remarried and my husband would love to adopt my three children. He is a great father and has taken care of my kids for 6 years now. My ex-husband will not willingly give up his OK to have my children adopted and I have spoken to lawyers that say that we can go to court and have his rights terminated, but of course, that costs lots of money. Is there anyone out there that can give me any information on how I can do this without a lawyer. Thanks in advance for your help!!

[DianeS]

Terminating a bio father's parental rights without his consent is not something to do without a lawyer. One tiny little slip - one clause not included in the ruling, one tiny newspaper overlooked in your posting, one mistyped word in the notification - something as small as that could make the termination illegal and give your ex the right to contest it later and win his rights back. It's happened.

This isn't something to pinch pennies (or dollars, or even thousands of dollars) over. Knowing the laws inside out and exactly how to word everything is what lawyers do. In this case, I hope you hire one, even if you have to eat nothing but baked potatoes in a house without electricity for a month. Your ex doesn't sound like someone who will take this lightly, and you'll need the legal backing.

[Kallen330]

This is one of the grounds for termination in New York. I would suggest if you want to do this on your own to research, research, research.

Start at a law library in your area. There are public law libraries and ones at law schools that sometimes the public is allowed to use. Call around.

Talk to a court clerk that handles adoptions. They may have a packet they can give you with information and forms and instructions on filling out those forms. You can also check and see about getting copies of his record and submitting that with your petition as evidence.

Many courts have their own rules on how they like things filed and when they like things filed. You'll need to check into those.

You will need to contact the facility he is housed at and speak to someone in their legal department as to how to serve your ex.

If you have never handled legal matters before it can be a bit overwhelming. An attorney may be your best bet. You obviously have grounds it is the procedure that you will have the most difficulty with.

Good Luck!

Grounds for Termination of Parental Rights New York

N.Y. Soc. Serv. Law § 384-b (3)(l), (4), (5)(a), (6)(a)-(b), (7)(a)-(d) (West, WESTLAW through L. 2003)


For the purposes of this paragraph, a petition for the termination of parental rights shall be filed when:
The parent of such child has been convicted of murder in the first degree, murder in the second degree, manslaughter in the first degree, or manslaughter in the second degree, and the victim was another child of the parent; provided that the parent must have acted voluntarily in committing such crime or has been convicted of an attempt to commit any of the foregoing crimes, and the victim or intended victim was the child, another child of the parent or another child for whose care such parent is or has been legally responsible;
The parent of such child has been convicted of criminal solicitation, conspiracy, or criminal facilitation for conspiring, soliciting, of facilitating any of the foregoing crimes, and the victim or intended victim was the child or another child of the parent or another child for whose care the parent is or has been legally responsible;
The parent of such child has been convicted of assault in the second degree, assault in the first degree, or aggravated assault upon a person less than 11 years old, or has been convicted of an attempt to commit any of the foregoing crimes, and the victim or intended victim was the child, another child of the parent, or another child for whose care such parent is or has been legally responsible; or

The parent of such child has been convicted under the law of any other jurisdiction of an offense which includes all the essential elements of any crime specified in this subparagraph.