[claudineann]

I am seeking advice on how to go about adopting my husbands 2 daughters from his previous marriage. My husband and I do not use the word STEP in our house. This is my story:

The oldest is going to be 11 this summer and the youngest is going to be 9 this summer. I have raised both girls with my three children from my first marriage since the youngest girl was 10 months old. I have actually been apart of there life since youngest was 2 months old. Mother did not want them or be responsible for them ever. My husband and I raise all 5 children as if they were ours from the beginning. You would never know he is not my childrens father either. Anyway, I tried to adopt them in 1999 but we could not locate her at the time. Since then child support has caught up with her and has required her to get a job and pay on a regular basis. She has 2 other children from her 2nd marriage now. the first young boy she gave up for adoption to her husbands sister. The sister has made the decision that he will never know that my husbands ex is the mother of the young boy. She agreed! She then has had another boy. He is like 3 years old and his father was arrested a couple of weeks ago for molesting him. I thank god my girls had never had the chance to meet him. Anyway, there bio mother has written to us and has asked if she gave up her rights would we stop collecting child support from her. I totally agreed!! We get no money now so what is the difference. Money does not make you a mother.

How can I go about adopting them in CA without spending lots of money. I would prefer to do it with out an attorney since the cost so much for doing nothing. The Bio mother lives in ID. She goes to court on June 1st and is going to mention this to the Judge. I have raised the girls as my own so there is no change except that I have total rights in case something were to happen to my husband. The girls would not be torn from us. They know no one else. They don't even know what there Bio mother looks like if they were to run into her. They don't really care to know her. The only sipulation I gave to her was that she is to give me all information about the boys in case the girls want to find them when they get older. She has given it to me already. I wont deny them the right to know who there mother is and I told her I would not stop contact with her either. She does not choose to contact them now anyway. She has no interest. I just did not want to look like the bad person.

Thank you for your time,

Claudine

PS.....Please help I really need advice.

[threeandmore]

If the Biomom is willing to voluntarily terminate her rights, you shouldn't have any problems. In situations such as yours, many people hire paralegals instead of attorneys, just to make sure all the paperwork is done correctly. Other people do it all themselves - often the court clerks can tell you what papers you need to file, or you might be able to find someone in your area who has done this that would be willing to help you. Adoption law varies from state to state, so I can't give you any specific advice, but I hope this gives you somewhere to start. As long as the Biomom is cooperating, it is really just a matter of paperwork, and maybe a homestudy depending on local requirements. Good luck!