[aora]

(This is really going to make me look bad, but I need the help!!!)

I was in the military and prior to entering I had a lot of "fun". Well, "fun" turned into a son 9 months later while I was in the military. Alot of that "fun" was one-nighters and do not know the guys. Therefore do not know who the bio-father of my son is. I recently got married to my boyfriend, who is in the military, who has been in our lives since my son was 2. He would like to adopt him. I do not know what to do since I do not know who the father is or where to even look for him. Can anyone lead me in the right direction???

[My Boy]

Hello, who cares if it makes you look bad or not? At least you are being honest about you situation, and thinking about your child and not what everyone else will think about what you have done in your past. Everyone has had a one night stand or a few of them. Anyways, did you put anyone's name on the birthcertifacate as the father? If not it will make it alot easier for you. All you'll have to do is get a court date and he can adopt your child. It's just that easy for you. Good luck If you need more help you can contact me at todd2019_poohbear

[aora]

well, I spoke to the guy that I do know that is a possibility and he said that if he is the biofather that he will not give up his rights... since I am not sure he is the father and there is no one on his birthcertificate can I still just go to the courts and have him adopt my son with no problems??? I'm so upset about all of this. Thanks. :-)

[DRS1971]

HI,
The guy you told that might possibly be the biological father can cause problems for you down the road. He can ask for a blood test. If you go through with the adoption and this guy is the father, you can get in a lot of legal trouble. If he is the father, then he would have to start paying child support. Many men don't want to give up there rights to a child, but they don't want to pay child support either. Laws vary from state to state, you can usually get legal advice at the legal office on base. Some states say that if the biological father has not paid child support or been in contact with the child for over 2 years, you don't need there permission.
My husband adopted my son. It's a lot of paper work and it can be costly. I did all the paper work myself and it just ended up costing us around $200.00. But most people have to get a lawyer and it can cost over $1000.00. Different states ask for different things. What state are you in?


Good luck to you.

[aora]

Thank you for the replies. :-) I live in the state of Virginia right now, and the biological father lives in Florida. I have already went to the courts over here and filed a petition for paternity, custody, and child support... My husband won't be able to adopt him any time soon, but at least I got my foot in the door.

Thanks again.