[wunnabhome]

Any one have any experience years up the road after a step-parent adoption? I adopted my step-daughter at age 8, after my husband and I having had custody of her since age 5, we were married when she was almost 3. She had been abused, neglected, and who knows what else while living with her bio-mom. She is married (currently seperated) with 3 precious children (2 not currently in the home while she "gets straightened out"), and I spent time with her yesterday telling me how horrible her life has been, how much harm I and her father (my husband) have done her, how this has basically ruined her life, how she cannot relate to her children because she never remembers me "playing with her" (just "talking to me helping me with my problems"), and how jealous she is of her 17 yr. old half-sister, and how her 21 yr. old half-sister is my "favorite". She didn't really mention any problems with her 22 yr. old half-brother. She left our lunch saying she didn't really belong to anyone, as she cannot inherit anything from her bio-mom because her name is not on her birth certificate, and she isn't really one of "my kids" because of a comment her father made one day when she was asking for a piece of furniture to be left to her (I couldn't have been more than 35 and wasn't really planning on going anywhere ), which had belonged to my grandfather. What a mess this has turned into. One day/moment she is sane and rational, the next she is accusing us of abuse and other horrible things--then asks us to keep the kids, etc. She is in counseling and on medication. What a horrible merry-go-round!! Anyone else this far up the road? Or had similar experiences?? I love her and did the best I knew how, have no problems admitting I was/am not perfect, apologizing for my mistakes (none of which were "on purpose" or meant to "ruin" her life).

[maddy27]

hi....

sounds like you have a tough situation... I am reading a good book... I would totally recommend it to you

it's called:

Living successfully with screwed up people... by Elizabeth Brown...

It is really helpful!!!!!

good luck!
maddy