[LegallyKim]

I am hoping someone on this forum can help me with my stepson.

He came to live with DH and I this past July. He is very polite (yes sir, no mam) and he is a very affectionate child. He is 17 and he lived with his Mom until July. She got a divorce and a new boyfriend and he came to live with us. I welcomed him into our home without reservation and with little discussion with DH. I have a stepson from a previous marriage who is still my son despite the fact that his father and I are divorced, so I did not have any reservations about DSS coming to live with us. Here's the problem. He lies, constantly. His first inclination is to lie. I understand that children will lie to get out of trouble, but he lies about everything - stupid stuff. I would not be surprised a bit if he told me he had been accepted to Harvard Medical School (even though I know he hasn't applied and doesn't make the grades to get in there) or that Steven Spielberg asked him to star in his next movie! Additionally, he is hyper, or what I call hyper, he seems to always have to be moving AND talking. When he played football this season, I could always tell which one he was by looking for the one constantly hoping up and down or otherwise moving. AND he is SO LOUD. Despite me asking him to use his "inside voice" or reminding him that "I am not deaf" he talks SO LOUD. He also seems starved for attention and laps up any attention given to him, so I do not want to turn him away. I try very hard to be understanding and motherly to him, but find my self more and more not wanting to be around him. It makes me feel like a very crummy person. I've never had any trouble bonding with a child before. I love children. He even calls me "Mom" despite the fact that his mother is still a part of his life. I know he wants my love and affection and approval - I want to give it to him, I am just finding it harder and harder to deal with the lieing, the sneaking and the LOUDNESS. The loudness is really the least of the problems, the lieing and sneaking is driving me crazy because I cannot trust him. I wonder if he should be on some sort of medication. I am ignorant in that area as I have never had to deal with a challenging child. Is anyone familiar with this type of behavior. Does anyone have any suggestions as to how I can be a better parent to him?

[sue123]

My stepson is on medication for post traumatic stress disorder, avoidance syndrome, anxiety, depression. Theres more but if I go on I might scare ya (lol). He is always loud, lies straight to your face, and is very agressive. You can take him to your local mental health center and have him evaluated. Its not an inpatient thing just a series of tests they do. Its done by a psychiatrist. My ss is the most loving boy but he has his days. I spend more time asking for the library voice. He also has to be center of attention. Your best bet is to have him tested. We have been in therapy for 4 yrs. It has really helped but we have such a long way to go yet. Good luck and just be patient. It does get better.