[yngstepmom]

My soon to be ss is almost 4, and recently he's been asking why he has two mommys and why mommy#1 (B-m) has soo many guy friends but daddy and mommy#2(me) are getting married. I don't know how to explain to him. He asked me how many mommys and daddys I had one time. I'm afraid when he enrolls in preschool or elementry that he will see these regular familys, and be intimidated or upset. His b-m and my f-h where never married infact he was only 17 and she was 21 when he was born.....she ran as soon as she found out she was pregnant because she wasn't sure who the father was...when ss was a year old she contacted him to tell him she thought it may be his, and after a dna test it showed he was the father, of course he fought for custody and to this day is still trying, but I don't see it happening until ss is old enough to decide on his own, and you can never tell what will happen there, ofcourse in Wv the mother always gets custody no matter what the circumstances usually. Okay back to the point of this....how should I try and explain to him families, and why he has two mommys and why me and his daddy are together. Does anyone think this will affect him threw life?

[mckenna]

"I'm afraid when he enrolls in preschool or elementry that he will see these regular familys, and be intimidated"

there is no such thing as "regular" families anymore. when he goes to preschool/elementry school. he will encounter kids with two mommies or dadddies (in the same home), step families, single parent families, transracial families, adoptive families, grandparent head of household familes ect, ect, ect. it is a much more family diverse time we are in and i hope kids learn that diversity is great and no matter what kind of family they live in, the more love the better.

[Decision]

I would not worry to much about when your child goes to school, like the other poster pointed out there is no such thing as a "normal" family, there is such diversity when it comes to family arrangements that he will fit in just fine.
The only concern I would have (as I am living it myself) is the fact that the child will develop some self esteem and abandonment issues, children are all about feeling and tend to believe that they are bad due to break up of the normal family.
My own situation is reversed were my dh and I are raising my son but his natural father is out there, and with numerous women, he is also an addict which makes it worse. My son struggles with abandonment due to the fact that his fathers visits and calls are few and far between, in the earlier years it was difficult to explain to him part due to his age and part due to the loyalty all children feel for their parents.
Co-parenting is one of the most difficult things to do, I suggest family councilling so everyone parenting this one child is on one wave length.
The most important thing in raising a child is the childs emotional wellbeing, not whether he has one set of parents or six.
Hugs
Melissa



Hugs


Melissa