[sdh074]

I have a 5 year old daughter who's biological father has made no attempt to see her pretty much since she was 8 months old. We are continually in contact because we also have a 7 year old boy who lives with him. We live about 900 miles apart. My son comes to my house for the summers and christmas but my ex has never asked to have our daughter and has only seen her once in the last 5 years for 12 hours. She'll talk to him on the phone occasionally and she knows his name but she thinks of and calls my current husband "daddy." He has been her "daddy" since she was 8 months old and it's pretty much all she's known. I want my husband to adopt her but I don't know what's involved, and I'm scared to ask my ex to give her up. Any advice?

[kovmom]

Seems like a difficult situation since he has custody of your 7 year old. Most likely he will not give up his rights to his daughter. I would first try talking to him and asking him why he is not involved in her life, and explain to him that she knows her stepfather as her dad. If he doesn't agree, I would advise you to seek legal advice. I think it would be hard to prove abandonment since he is responsible for your son. Good luck, and remember...adoption is a great thing. But if it doesn' t go through, your daughter will one day grow up and be wise enough to know who her "real father" is...the one who raised and loved her. God bless....