[Marines_Love33]

I am new here and looking for some information...

My daughter's father is not in her life, has a court order to pay child support, but doesn't; doesn't ask about her, doesn't ccall. just doesnt care. in our court agreement he does have visitation but does not use it.

I am getting ready to marry my fiance who is not my daughters father but she calls him daddy and hes been her father since she was 15 months old (shes 3 going on 4). I am looking for information on what and how it works for my fiance to adopt her... a few people have told me that i will have to find my daughters father and tell him (even tho hes basically abandoned her). or that i have tp be married for over a year before we can have my fiance adopt her...

can anyone help me out??

[bprice215]

I'm not for sure what state your from but I'd deffinetly talk to your daughters father about your intentions to re married. I'd tell him it'll release him from paying child support, who knows maybe that'll shake him into under-standing he's about to lose his daughter, for the rest of his life. I can't understand why some men are as they are. But you will need his agreement to this adoption, he'll have to sign away his parental rights. Best of luck to you, your daughter, and your marriage.
bprice215

[BrandyHagz]

I'd tell him it'll release him from paying child support

This is illegal - it's called coercion. If you want to keep things above board, never mention money. It's also not a decision YOU can make anyway- it's up a judge and adoption does not automatically remove support obligations. It's stops future obligations, but if he is in arrears, those may or may not go away - it's up to a judge (and sometimes, a totally seperate case to the adoption, which you have to file for).

But you will need his agreement to this adoption

It'll be easier with it - but if he's abandoned her, you don't need it. Talk to an attorney who knows the laws in your state.

It's a better idea never to mention money. Leave it up to an attorney. Agreeing to 'forgive arrearages' in order to facilitate the adoption is seen as 'financial motivation to complete an adoption' - something more and more judges are starting to take very seriously.

[Marines_Love33]

Originally Posted by bprice215

I'm not for sure what state your from but I'd deffinetly talk to your daughters father about your intentions to re married. I'd tell him it'll release him from paying child support, who knows maybe that'll shake him into under-standing he's about to lose his daughter, for the rest of his life. I can't understand why some men are as they are. But you will need his agreement to this adoption, he'll have to sign away his parental rights. Best of luck to you, your daughter, and your marriage.
bprice215

i dont have any contact with her father, hes somewhere in the wind, living in his truck, sometimes in jail, livin with friends.... i have no clue. he doesnt pay the child support he owes and said he never plans on paying it. i did read somewhere that if 6 months prior to my petition for adoption he doesnt come around or anything i dont need his consent... ad he hasnt been there for her at all so i honestly dont want to give him the choice to come back into our lives...cuz it will only hurt us more (esp my daughter).

thank you for your help though