[Mammie]

Hello everyone!

A couple months ago, I had asked the message board what a bonding assesment was, and got some really helpful replies.

My question now is:
Does "bonding assessments" go by another name?

or

Perphaps it goes by a different name in Michigan?

We are in a situation where we feel that perhaps a bonding assessment should be done. Between my girlfriend, my husband and I, we must have made 30 or 40 calls in the past four days (in two different counties) and NOBODY knew what a bonding assessement was! Even after decribing what it was and why it is used, nobody had any idea what we were talking about!

We called several foster agencies, therapist, doctors, foster parent assosications, adoption referrals, case workers, the osbudmans (spelling?) office, protective services (hey, that one was a shot in the dark!) and even a lawyer!

Can anyone help me out with extra information please?

Thanking you in advance!

[~Mom~of~4]

Try the word "Attachment"

[Mammie]

Hi Mom of 4

That is a good idea.

Perhaps I should ask someone who works with attachment disorders? Would that be a therapist?

[number2mom]

I don't know your situation but we had a Bonding Evaluation done by a Psychologist. Ours was done to evaluate attachment with child to birthparent.

[Mammie]

Hello!

I just wanted to close this thread, and let anyone know (who may be reading this down the road) that we did get a bonding assessemnt done.

If you live in Michigan, you will be hard pressed to find someone who does do it. My girlfriend and I made about 50 calls APIECE in Oakland county and in Macomb County. Most folks did not know what it was. We had a few that had 'heard' of it, but did not do assessments themselves.

We did not ask our caseworker (which probably should have been our first choice) because she is not really supportive when ever we try to get the children checked on anything other than routine medical.

We did find two people who DO do bonding assessments in Oakland County. Doctor John Mensauros in Waterford, and a therapist who works at Perspectives in Troy.

We had the bonding done on two children. It cost two hundred dollars.

The doctor saw the oldest one first. Then he saw the oldest one with my husband, then with me. Again, he saw the child by himself and then he saw both children together. That ended the first day. It took a little under two hours.

The second visit (which was two days later) basicly was the same thing, only with the younger child, except the visited was like an hour and a half.

Both visits, the doctor took some information from both my husband and myself, and the doctor observed the children - how they acted, how they inter-reacted with us, what did they do when we left, how they were with each other, questions asked by a puppet, etc.

Questionaires and phone calls went out to the preschool teacher and to a therapist (who works with the oldest child). We even had about 6 pages of questions to fill out on each child, mostly about behavior.

About two weeks later, we got two letters in the mail, one on each child. They were about three pages long, detailing a short history, what the doctor observed, how the child reacted, what other professionals noted, and the doctors recommendations.

Our bonding assessement also included a psychiatiric exam. Both children were diagnoised with RAD, the younger child much worse than the older one (no surprise here) - though they have definately improved since being in our care. The younger one also seems to have a developmental delay that is caused by something other than RAD ( and that we believe is FAS/FAE, and are in the middle of setting up stuff to have him tested.)

The doctor also noted that the two children should remain together at all cost, because they have bonded strongly to each other.

Lastly, the doctor recommended that the children stay where they are. The oldest child has completely bonded to us. Since a bond was never formed with any caregiver before, to remove him would cause unrepairable damage.

The younger child was recommended not to be moved for at least another 9 months, as he is in the last stages of trying to bond with us. To remove him now, would be a set back the doctor thinks this child may never get over (taking in consideration the amount of RAD he currently is fighting and his other developmental delays.)

Since the doctor feels it is best that the two remain together, and that the oldest should not be removed what so ever, he feels strongly that the younger child remain as well. Now, if only the judge will see it that way!

Overall observations on our part: We are glad we spent the money and had it done. It confirmed some suspisions on our part. Also, it is nice to have, because a judge will take a serious look at this. Our trial for termination (which was April 19) was postponed for May 31.

[mrbeansmom]

Mammie,

We are in almost the exact same situation you are! Our trial dates are almost the same too. We have just hired our own lawyer. Please keep in touch and let me know how yours goes...........

MrBeansMom