[lucyjoy]

We started writing the adoptive family bill of rights, but never got too far.

The area I live in has two really great support groups, one for all foster or adoptive families, and one for families with children with RAD. They were both started by moms.

I've got a challenge for anyone who wants change and a better working system. The foster/ adopt group works with the state, GAL'sand Judges to understand the system and help families get better training and after placment support. They write grants for funding, they lobby to change laws that harm children, they provide monthly support/training for parents. DFS allows the parents to use these hours toward their continued training and lets all new parents know about this group and encourages the parents to join. (This does not mean both parties agree on everything, but it does mean they agree to work with each other).

They provide clothes closets, food pantries, and furniture to help families of larger groups or with emergency placements handle the adjustment without financial strain allowing more time to parent their kids.

They provide a phone line to answer questions and assist with concerns or find resources.

The other group holdas seminars, helps find therapists, educates schools and communities to help families and professionals develope plans to give the children the best opportunity to heal.

These groups were started by a few dedicated parents. I would urge all parents of special needs or older children to ask about groups in their area, and if there's not one, start one.

[louise]

one you can visit is http://www.fairfamilies.org.

It is completely run by volunteers (I am a board member). We are active in California and nationally working to make things better for families and children.

AFTER is an organization that has trained therapists, sponsored workshops, support groups educational seminars as well as providing postadoption services to families who have adopted in Santa Clara County. This is the organization Graham and I work with. We are the first postadoption group using AAP funds to support wraparound services. http://www.afteradoption.org.

Great things can happen when people put their minds to do something. I feel very lucky to have been involved and connected to these and other supportive organizations.

[Dianna]

Our son, a joy then, a joy now, actually came from Santa Clara County. The agency we worked with at the time offered free (to us) post adoption therapy which we took advantage of for 18 months. We also got help with our AAP grant request and took a deferred at that time. We enjoyed that experience so much that we adopted a more challenging sibling pair next. That did not go so well, but again we did get excellent post placement support.

At the darkest point in our second placement, I joined an adoptive parents support group which helped tremendously. At another point, I attended foster parent training where I met people who understood my kids, validated and normalized my experience. I also attended many workshops put on by local organizations like Louise speaks of.

The reason we made it through that experience intact and able to do much more than we had said we could, or thought we were able to, was again because of the great support. The services were available and in the end, and are still, providing a life for us that we are very happy with. It took a whole lot of searching, phone calls, reading, and advocating on my part and we were able to make a difference in the lives of three children.

[Debbula]

for the info on AFTER and FAIR. We need some support services when we move and this looks like just what we're going to need.

Debra

[louise]

we attended a Lunar New Year Party sponsored by FAIR this past Sunday. It was wonderful to participate and watch my older ones volunteer their time to help the little ones.

I also got to meet IRL a member of this board and some of her family...Hi Katey!

[Dr. Art]

Support groups are a wonderful and helpful experience for families. We've organized and supported a support group for parents of families with children with Reactive Attachment Disorder that is very helpful and popular. It is one of the few places parents can talk openly about their experiences without being criticized or misunderstood.

In my area we also have a very large group, we are members, of families that adopted children from asia, Asian Connection...there are about 80 members. It has many events a year and is great for the kids to see so many families just like their own family. We celebrate all the big chinese holidays and have other events as well. It also runs a chinese language school and a chinese cultural school.

Beyond that, there are probably six other support groups in this area. I frequently do talks for these groups about topics they are interested in.


Regards