[blossumkitty]

Hello My husband and I are planning on adopting a child at some point in the near future Most likely it will be an older child considered " special need" by our state
My question is exactly what is this RAD thing I keep reading about -----sounds very scary and to be honest you guys are kinda making me nervous ----- Is there an average age when this is detected. I am just starting to have alot of questions about it and would appreciate any info
Thanks for your help
Blossum

www.attach.org www.radzebra.org

I don't know much about this. The training we attended described RAD as children who do not want you to love them and do not or cannot form bonds with others. I apologize that I can't offer you more or specific information, try the sites listed above for more details.

[lucyjoy]

Although Rad can be very scary, with the right education and treetment, Rad can be healed in most cases.

Also, many kids in care have attachment issues and the RAD type behaviors, but not true RAD. These children, with the right parenting and treetment can heal fairly quickly.

My advice to you is to get Nancy Thomas books and tapes on parenting, foster Clines, can this child be saved & parenting with love and logic. Keck's book Adopting the Hurt Child is good also.
It's important when taking an older child to have your understanding of issues and structure for parenting set up ahead of time.

When I take an older placement, I start with stricter rules and less stuff and add privledges as the child can handle them(some pretty quickly, and some very slowly). I would rather start with less then feel like I'm constantly taking something away from a child who's struggling.

I have parented kids with RAD and it can be a real a struggle, but for kids that heal, the blessings are worth it. I do have two children who have long term effects from RAD and I've had to adjust my expectations for them, but they're far better off then they were when we started and I still hold hope for more healing.

Education is the best advice as you'll be prepared and not caught off guard.

Also, for anyone adopting an older child, I recommend alarms of some sort on all the doors for at least the first year. This makes the kid feel safer because noone can sneak in on them, and it's safer for the family if the child has learned behavior that might harm others.

[armychic6]

I don't know what the whole RAD issue is, but I do know about attachment disorders. Children with such problems can be very difficult, I know, I'm one of them. I'm 20 years old and I still can't give my adoptive parents a hug. I can remember when I was younger my adoptive mother and I used to go to therapy and once the therapist gave me the assignment that I had to give both of my parents a kiss on the cheek before I went to bed every night. I hated it, I rebeled like none other, but my parents made me do it for quite a while. It got easier with time, but mostly because I knew that I had to do it, that I would get grounded if I didn't. The important thing to remember with these children is that their problems aren't just going to disappear with having a new family. It takes time for them to heal from everything that they have experienced, and it takes them knowing that they have a problem that needs to be fixed. I was in denial for a long time, it wasn't until I picked up the book Adopting the Hurt Child that I realized I had a problem. Unfortunately for me it's really hard for me to change my ways now that I've been set in that style for so long. Oh, another thing, never give up on your child. I see too many families who go into the whole adoption scene without realizing what they're getting into, and when the child starts misbehaving and having troubles coping the parents give up and put them back into foster care. It just destroys the poor children even more.

[Late Bloomer]

... here at AdoptionForums.com under "Children With Special Needs". RAD stands for Reactive Attachment Disorder and it's important to learn the signs 'cause it's easy to be fooled if you're not specifically educated about it. Some who've adopted kids with this say it can be healed with a lot of work, but you have to be prepared to take a very different approach from that with other "special needs". Good luck!

[Barksum]

All of the above posts are great -- do follow through with ther advice and check out the web pages and books they suggested.

Thanks especially to Armychic for the child's perspective! We don't see that too often.

My suggestions when considering any child adopted from the foster care system is to recognize that the overwhelming majority will have some form of attachment issues. Not necessarily RAD, but at the very least they will have some form of hesitancy over yet another caregiver coming into their lives, etc. At least if you know what you are looking for you will recognize the little signs and be able to address them to help keep them from ballooning into major issues.

The second suggestion is to research the kinds of therapy available near where you live. Not all therapists are familiar with the issues that foster/adoptive children face. There are many issues foster/adoptive families face, not just RAD, so it is helpful to know what kind of help is available in your area.

Another thing to consider when adopting special needs children is the high incidence of prenatal exposure to alcohol. Do some research into this because children in the foster system are often given multi-labels (ADD/ADHD, ODD, RAD, mental retardation, learning disabilities, etc.). Often these labels are given instead of the base diagnosis of PEA (prenatal exposure to alcohol). PEA child DO often have other issues, but the cause is organic and due to PEA. I am appalled at how little attention is given to this issue within the foster system and the adoption system.

FASD (fetal alcohol spectrum disorders) is the newest term I've found in my research. Just as RAD is one end of the continuum of attachment issues, so there is a whole continuum of fetal alcohol issues. Also, FAS (fetal alcohol syndrome) is no longer considered the "worst" of fetal alcohol conditions, just the most obvious in physical manifestations and thus the most recognized.

You might add looking into the professionals (drs, therapists, etc) available in your area who are familiar with fetal alcohol issues as this can be a "sneaker condition" that unexpectedly pops up as the child ages. (Trust me on this one! LOL I speak from experience.)

[louise]

two of my kids are so afflicted and it has been the most challenging of any diagnosis.

I also want to thank armychic for her contribution...we need more feeback from adult persons who were adopted.

[Mom_Of_Many]

I highly recommend reading this RAD message board and site. I go there a lot, to try to heal from the two RADs that we had:

http://www.syix.com/ADSG/forums/adsg/disc1_frm.htm


These are people who are in the trenches, actively living with RAD now. Some kids are stepkids who were abused by one parent or the other. Some are adopted. THe problems are the same. I feel the advice is practical and honest. These people are doing it.

[louise]

it utterly destroys any sembalnce of their humanity and only describes them in terms of their devastating disorder.

[Mom_Of_Many]

Louise.....you have never had a real RAD like I have. RAD defines many of these kids (not all) and is he main part of their personality, if they are truly very sick. I guess I'm just not PC. But a RAD has some traits that people MUST know about before getting them into the house (imho) and minimizing the term doesn't change what they are. Some RADS heal! Then they aren't RAD anymore

[louise]

who has a disorder CALLED RAD!

[louise]

it's not a competition pam. My kids are doing well.

I have never EVER called them "RADS"!

[blossumkitty]

I just wanted to tell everyone thank-yopu for giving me some insight on what RAD is and where I could go to find out more about it ---I appreciate it very much
thanks again
Blossumkitty

[Dr. Art]

You have gotten alot of good info in the previous posts. Doing your homework is an important first step. Second, is getting a good mental health professional to be in your corner so you can get a comprehensive evaluation. You'll want someone who is a licensed professional, who has significant experience working with adopted and foster children and who has specific training in treating children with attachment issues. One good source is www.attach.org

A thorough assessment will include a screening for various issues such as mental health concerns (bipolar disorder, adhd (often misdiagnosed when there are other issues present and not adhd), etc). an assessment of attachment issues, a screening for FAS, Sensory-Integration disorders and a screening for consideration for neuro-psychological testing.

If you want to find out about effective treatments for children with RAD, I have several links on my website and the results of a research/followup study on what works and what does not work with children with that disorder.

Regards