[Indy]

"The Good Son". This book is by the same person who wrote "The Wonder of Boys (?)". I have found it to be an excellent book. It talks about the moral development of boys through the years. It is good to see that I am not completely off base in my approach to raising my sons. There are others out there like me. I don't know if that is good or bad. Of course, the boys do not like the book (LOL). They say it gives me to many ideas.

Several people have asked me why I would read a book about moral development. They say that moral development is something that is put in them from the beginning. No "duh". I have not had my sons from the beginning. So we have to start with the basics.

Take care all.

[lucyjoy]

Thanks for the tip. I haven't read that book, but I have 9 boys so I'm going to check it out.

[Graham]

Thanks Indy, I'll look for it. Just a thought - why when someone talks about the importance of moral development do people immediately equate this with religion? Seems to me that each religion's practices are just one version of a moral theory. You can surely have moral development without religious implications, so why don't we have the guts to actually teach it in school?
I may have prompted a thread I'll regret later, but don't we have to teach our children well and how to be with others?
Graham

[Happy]

It's just called "character education". Honesty, tolerence, generosity, diligence... sounds a lot like morals to me. We just can't call it that because of those religious implications you mentioned. But the only problem I have with it is that teachers have SO much to do already (over-worked, under-paid, you know), that adding character education on top of it all is leading to less time on subject area instruction-for which we are criticized for not providing adequately. The responsibility for forming a child's character should rest mainly on the family, (and the church if so inclined) not the school. Teachers can and will always teach character by providing living examples of good behavior and by reinforcing positive behavior and correcting negative behaviors. That should be where our responsibility ends. However, there are many schools which have willingly integrated additional character (or moral) instruction to their program. Not just religious schools, either, but many charter schools, including the one for which I work, have strong character education programs as one of the main selling points. I suggest parents looking for additional help in character formation seek out those schools. They can be wonderful resources, and terrific, nurturing places to be.
Happy

[kay]

Indy,

Thanks for the heads-up on the book. It looks good and I'll be ordering it.
As my 11-year old son gets more into middle school, I'm becoming more
concerned about peer pressure. Right now it seems to be just about his
hair, which, he informed me this morning, has to be just right, or his
friends will tell him he looks dorky. I replied, with the infinite patience
I possess when we needed to leave the house 5 minutes ago (!), that maybe he needed to get new friends, who weren't so concerned about how he looks. Wrong!! (Yes, I knew that the instant the words were out of my mouth.) We'll be addressing the issue more now that we've both calmed down - and I'd be interested in any tips in dealing with the whole peer pressure/friends thing. He is a very likeable kid, both kids and adults gravitate to him without him being other than who he naturally is - but I see this desperate need for acceptance at any cost. I know part of it is the age, but I do want him to have a sense of his ok-ness that he can hold no matter what his friends say or do. Ideas?