[AKAT]

We go this Friday for yet another court date (have had one a month since Sept.) This should be the date when the Judge gives the determination Terminate or Not. We are very anxious even though I am fairly certain the decision will be to terminate. The biomom says she is appealling the decision. So everything is not over yet. Our worker also told us this case will not be going to "adoption worker" yet. Because they are "full". I guess I didn't know they could be full. So anyway we are on edge. We will hopefully be one step closer after Friday. Wish us luck or give a prayer. Thanks
P.S. Susan C do you still have any books left? I have emailed you a couple of times without luck...

[Suzy]

as you go to court this week. I just went for TPR recently and I know you have a lot of emotions running around inside you right now. Our agency has a lot of adoptions being processed right now that are going to petition so that they can be finalized early in 2003. A lot of people postponed their adoptions from 2002 to early 2003 to be able to take advantage of the special needs flat tax credit that goes into effect in January. Maybe that is why your agency adoption workers are "full"?

Blessings,

[rindava]

How long have you had the kids???

If longer then 18 months, you are in a good place. In both Va and MO (the 2 states I have worked with) You have a good chance in court. They could not move my son's bio-sister because of how long she had been there and the same was true for my girls. (They kind of tried, but I got a lawyer and they did not dare.) But the guy did say most of the time with DSS, it is best not to rock the boat because they tend to get mad and take away subsidies, etc... I have known of people here local where it has gone both ways. They got their own lawyer and went to TPR hearings and got custody of the kid directly. I also know of one where they tried and got custody then the SW did some kind of child abuse lack of medical care thing on them and had the kid put in RTC.

My girls it was the same though. Birth parents TPR was in July 1997, then "close out visits in Oct. and Nov. 1997" the poor SWs were too busy to do a small amount of paper work and the adoption was not final until Oct. 1998. (It is a whole lot less paper work then say buying a house) 2 years and 5 months after coming into care and 3 years 7 months after first founded case of neglect abuse in the local district. (Did I tell you even though the law is on your side any old relative can pop up six months after finalization (in VA my home state) and claim the child and still have a good chance at getting her. ) This is not the case in MO, they only have 15 days after the final order to contest. So, I was not in the clear until May, 1999. And the SW wondered why I was in such a hurry to finalize. Go figure.

Has any one notice how many SW don't even have kids? Okay, okay I will stop my SW complaining.

I will keep you in my prayers.

[AKAT]

I guess I should clarify a little.. The hearing Friday is to terminate BIOMOMs rights (for our foster son). In Illinois they are very careful to keep the intentions of the foster parents a secret. Even at this point they have just now added to the reports that "foster parents are WILLING to provide permanency" HA! we have been providing permanency for the last 25 months (foster son is 28 months old). They tell us that the reason for the secrecy is to avoid bioparents saying that there was bias and that DCFS chose foster parents over bioparent. As if it were a case of US against THEM. When really it is them against themselves (there own worst enemies). Thanks for listening and YES there are lots of emotions involved. I really want this over But I also feel for bioparents because I know they must be hurting inside. I also feel for my foster son who has a bond with bioparents. He is young and we have been his solid ground But he will still feel a loss and as he gets older what will he imagine in his mind...He truly is not safe to be raised by biomom, but there is still the appeal to get through and what if she wins UGH!!! really just need to take one day at a time ...Thanks again..

[Suzy]

We are in Illinois also and the court wanted to know whether we would adopt the children before they even changed the permanency goal to termination. We have been asked that consistently by the GAL, agency, and court throughout the process this year. Because of the concurrency planning that Illinois does there are many children whose parental rights have not been terminated but who are available for adoption and classified as legal risk. The monthly book we receive with all adoptable children in Illinois is heavily weighted with legal risk kids. Our agency told us that the reason this was so was that judges are often reluctant to terminate parental rights completely until there is an adoptive home in the picture because they do not want the children to essentially be legal orphans. This may just be their interpretation of the situation, but it seems to be consistant with what we were told by the public guardian's office also. Maybe its possible that your agency had some experiences where the birthparents fought things harder because they knew someone was ready to adopt their children. Anyway, at our final tpr hearing the judge explicitly asked me if we were willing to adopt the children and then asked me several questions relating to that. He also asked the caseworker about the agency's assessment of the childrens' relationship to my husband and I and about the home visits. He then asked the GAL for her opinion, and then finally asked the state's attorney for his opinion. Anyway, just our experience.