[MamaTay]

Hi all,

I normally post in the foster support group but this seemed more like the place for this post. I am just so excited I could burst and it is for such a small little thing it almost seems silly. But I figured ya’ll may understand.

I am the mother of an 11 yo son who has Goldenhar Syndrome (blind/deaf, G&J tubes, trach, scoliosis...). We just got our foster/adopt license (after a year-long home study process) and I have been stressing so much over what children would be a good match for our family with all of my son’s oddities. Well, I found what just may be the ideal match.

I found a little 2 yo boy from a neighboring state that appears to have the same, or very similar, syndrome as my son. (Trach, asymmetrical face with the tell-tale jaw that sits askew) It seems very premature to get excited about a child just seen on a web site. I can’t imagine many people would look at his picture and think, ooo he is so cute and he would fit perfectly in our family! But, to me, he looks so much like my son that I just want to hug him. I keep picturing us helping him through all the same difficulties that we helped our son through.

Our CW is sending our home study to his CW today so hopefully I will be able to get more information about him soon. Man, the waiting is so hard!

[Ians mom]

I always like to say there is no such thing as an unwanted child, its just sometimes difficult for their families to find them. I think its awesome that this little one might have found his family!! Good luck!

[DaisyDay]

How exciting for you and for him! Keep us posted on how this develops!

[livingwaters]

That is so exciting! I know how it feels to see a child that just "clicks" and seems right for your family. My DD has Down Syndrome, and when we were offered placement of a little boy with Down Syndrome, I was thrilled. Ultimately, we did not adopt him, but it was wonderful having two children who were, in a way, alike. Good luck pursuing placement with this child!

[minibus]

Wow. I hope that it works out for you! That would be one of the luckiest little boys EVER if he could join your family!!

[Barksum]

How exciting!! Be sure to post with updates as you have them!!

[Kelly Rae]

Sounds like you have so much to offer him praying for the best. let us know how it goes.

[Bamamom07]

That would be so awesome for the little guy!! Hoping it all works out, and quickly!!

[saranbr]

That would be wonderful for him and you guys if the placement works out! He would be a difficult child to place anyway, and what a huge benefit for him to have a family familiar with all those issues.

[MamaTay]

He was a Wednesday's Child! I was attempting to find more information on little M and found his video posted back in March. So cool! I submitted an inquiry on the Wednesday's Child page since my CW still hasn't been able to get info to send my home study to. The WC team called me back yesterday but I missed the call so playing phone tag with them.

edited to add:

Just got off the line with little M's case worker. Got her fax number and gave her my information for her to send me a "matching form" that they use. Little M is still in need of a family and the CW seemed very excited that I knew his condition and already had a home study. Yippie!

[Nevada Jen]

THat sounds really good!!! What the heck. You need more exclamation points!!!!

[MamaTay]

So, it took longer than expected to finally get our home study to Little M's CW and another week for her to call me back and email me their Matching Form. But, so far so good. There was apparently a failed match a few months ago so they are starting over. There have been multiple inquiries on Little M so they will be doing a matching for him in a few weeks.

When CW (different CW than the one I talked to last time and it will be yet another one in a week) and I were talking today about his details she seemed a little concerned about us taking care of Little M as well as our son, Snurf. I explained that I thought our experience with Snurf would be a real benefit to Little M. I told her saw their journeys paralleling each other and that we felt very capable to handle both. I am praying she sees the benefit and doesn't think it is just too much for any family to handle.

So, I have a little comments section on our matching sheet. Other than the comments section, the entire 12 pages are multiple choice like "would you consider a child with _______ yes, no, maybe". Any suggestions on what to put in comments to make us stand out?

[alys1]

(I write promo materials and edit.)

This is what to put in the comments part. Your words, edited a tiny bit. Because what you wrote was *gorgeous* -- and it's hard to write spontaneously when writing for someone who'll sit in judgement of us, but easy when talking to friends

I've been stressing over what children would be a good match for our family with all of my son’s oddities. Then I saw M, who appears to have the same, or very similar, syndrome as my son. I know it might seem very premature to get excited about a child seen on a web site. But, to me, he looks so much like my son that I just want to hug him. I keep picturing us helping him through all the same difficulties that we helped our son through."

To me, the last two sentences are gold. Especially the last sentence. I'd add something like, "I'm confidant our skills gained through helping our son would benefit M. We aren't imagining that maybe we could do this day-to-day, without knowing the reality."

Something like that. Because really, it's a crap shoot to place him with someone who's never done this before, who might be overwhelmed by the reality of it all. Just my 2 cents, hope it helps.

[MamaTay]

Thank you alys. That is helpful

[Lylac]

This is awesome!! Keep us updated please. It's not odd or rare to find parents adopting kids with simlar issues. Thats exactly why I have 3 Shaken Baby Syndrome babies and 1 that was born with brain damage. For us it was easier, just more of the same that we were already comfortable with.