[Archive]

Originally Posted By heidi

About 4 years ago we adopted our 8 year old daughter from foster care. What a hard and wonderful experience. Now we would like to adopt a child under 2. What are some states that I should avoid or is it all just individual? I have noticed stuff about good and bad states to work with. It is frustrating. Does anyone have advice for how to put us in the pool for state agencies etc? I am not in my patient mode yet. Help me figure all of this out because it is different than the last time we did this.

thank you so much!!!!! )
heidi

[Archive]

Originally Posted By anotherMarylandfamily

... but similarities can be the only words for this process since your last time.

There is no way to be placed in a pool for State Agencies but many of us wish that for the future. FACES and Waiting Families accessed from the home paid of Adopt.org may be able to get you started tho ... with an approved homestudy update from your worker stating you meet all current requirements.

In the interim you should glance through the internet postings ... not getting your heart set on any particular child or children ... and have your homestudy forwarded on any you would like to inquire on and, if not chosen for that child, then their worker may have other children to discuss with you. It's a long and quite frustrating process with so many families advocating for the same children, especially since you want one so young, so get ready for a roller-coaster ride and do keep visiting this board - it has a wealth of knowledge and advice to offer.

Major states, in my opinion, to avoid are those that aren't willing to pay placement and post placement supervision fees (i.e., California and Massachusetts). That block can be checked on the FACES write-up ... but do remember than even if it says no ... unless you ask - you never know if the placing state may be willing to negotiate a part of those costs. Oregon is known as a resource for younger children and are wonderful to work with (we had a placement which disrupted due to the child's needs being beyond our ability/capability and we still sing their praises for a state/agency to work with). Let us know which state you are in and as said ... then the advice will roll.

Good luck and welcome.

[Archive]

Originally Posted By Pam

First off, any child under two is going to be hard to adopt. The best way to adopt such a young child is to do foster care and try for a placement where the child looks like he or she won't be able to come home. There are no guarantees, but a lot of people do adopt their foster children...some adopt many of them. My friends just adopted a sib group, ages 1 and 2, from Iowa and they liked Iowa (they were picked as the family out of 150 homestudies sent in!). We liked New Jersey a lot and Delaware. I've heard good things about Minnesota lately. We liked Kentucky. Ohio can be good. Many people like Oregon. Mixed reviews: North Carolina, California (but you will pay your own travel expenses AND the childs in California, which we could not afford) Illinois, MO and Maine. What I have experienced as bad adoption states (not cooperative, don't call back, etc. plus what I've read here): Indiana, Wisconsin (I live here, yuk...it's awful), New Mexico, and most of the smaller, poorer, underfunded states just don't have enough money to do much advocating or helping their children or people who want to adopt them. I've called several. If you want to adopt a very young child it is best to be open to all races, but, even with that, unless you foster, you may not get a placement. A few here have...it happens. It isn't easy though. Good luck

[Archive]

Originally Posted By heidi

We are hoping for a different race. We have an older adopted daughter that is BR. The reason we are going younger this time is that last adoption we disrupted birth order. It was okay being a girl in between 2 boys, but I just don't feel good about doing it this time.

what have you heard about New York? there is a little boy there that has me curious.

I have read all of the previous messages and I am glad you are still here because you do help people, at least me, see the things to be careful about and I appreciate that. You also are very helpful and more professional than you think.

) heidi

PS: can you tell me what some abreviations you use are? Like Dd, Ds, imho and any others.

[Archive]

Originally Posted By heidi

I hope I can get rid of my anxiousness and relax so I will be able to know when it is right. You talked about checking that block at FACES what does that mean? Is there a place to find out the support available from the different states? I am glad that I found this board to help me. What do you know about New York?

Thank you so much!!

Heidi

[Archive]

Originally Posted By anotherMarylandfamily

When I was typing my other response, I couldn't remember the term (brain freeze as my boys would say) and with this board at such a high posting #, it wasn't worth backing out to get it.

On the FACES sites you will note at the lower left hand corner three entries - Transportation, Subsidy and Purchase of Service - the one to watch for is Purchase of Service which includes reimbursement of your homestudy costs, post-placement supervision fees, legal costs to finalize, etc. Most states will pay something - those that state not sure or negotiable will determine what they'll pay by many factors (how much they wish to place the child with you, your financial ability, etc.). All children should be eligible for a subsidy - most of these kids need some medical attention - dental, counseling, etc. and that doesn't come cheap and no worker will disrespect or get angry with your asking what they will provide so don't be hesitant to ask ... if you find a child that matches perfectly and financial assistance is minimal - you have to decide what you can and cannot accept. Obviously a child with great physical disabilities you would want more for.

New York is known for being good to work with but are also known for wishing to state in-state if at all possible and for pulling the plug on a placement in process if a resource in-state becomes available ... so tread lightly and make sure the worker knows you cannot be yanked around. They are known for slow responses so be prepared for that too.

Hope this helps - keep the questions coming ... know when we first started out I would ask a question, get an answer and find I had two more ... the more you ask the more you learn and the more information you have the better advocate you can be for both your family and any placement in your future.

[Archive]

Originally Posted By Kena

We are adopting through NY, and they have a lot of kids photolisted. The buzz is that NY strongly prefers to place in-state, and are slow to respond to inquiries. NY caseworkers also seem to prefer to speak to other social workers, and many will not respond to or talk to prospective parents. Of course, these are all generalizations and may not hold for all caseworkers. Overall, NY seems like a good state to work with and has pretty good subsidy rates, etc. Good luck!

[Archive]

Originally Posted By heidi

If I want to go through a public agency then how do I find a SW to call the other state for me? In Utah they will not license me unless I am getting licensed for foster care. This is why I feel lost, because I am doing it on my own and don't quite know how to find help with out going agency. I feel like a dork.

heidi

[Archive]

Originally Posted By Kena

... I'm not sure myself how all these things work. Someone else on the board may know more. We are going through a private, not-for-profit so we have a worker. Even though you are going through a public agency, won't you have a worker looking for you? If not, it is easy enough to find out who the child's worker is in NY by calling the number on the website, or inquiring by e-mail. Then you can call the agency contact listed, and/or mail your study. It has been our experience that most workers wouldn't talk to us, and we have heard this from many others adopting through NY. However, other people have had positive responses from NY workers, especially in the upstate counties -- so there are no hard and fast rules. You can keep calling until you get someone... And let us know how it goes. Good luck!!

[yael]

Does anyone know how long it takes for a decision on subsidy to be made in NY? We are adopting from NY but live in FL. It has been two months since we applied, and we have not yet heard anything (nor has the agency). Has anyone had an experience with this?
Thanks, Yael

[hoppiebarker]

Hi,
Has anyone had any contact with Texas? They have alot of kids but I've "never" gotten a response and when you call you get a recording!!! Oregon has been great, Nevada not so good!But I'm finding out even though we now have the interstate compact they still prefer to place in state even if it means the child sits in limbo longer!

[lucyjoy]

Texas, as far as I can tell, never cals anyone back. someone said their having budget trouble(who's not?)and aren't really doing much to get kids placed.

[kmalay]

South Dakota, Missouri and Iowa are usually good about contacting you. Sometimes you do have to call a couple of times no matter where you are looking, but overall I have been very happy with all three states.

[donna v]

i am fairly new to this, but i am taking note about all these states - good and bad. i live in AR and i can tell you the process is slow. i couldn't get county to call back so i called the state adoption specialist in little rock and before i could call right back to county, he had already emailed her and she had us put in a upcoming class. i guess sometimes it is a good thing to break chain of command.
donna

[Star_Gazer]

I've adopted through two states - South Carolina and North Carolina.
South Carolina was pretty good to work with. As with any state sometimes you may have to call a couple of times if the worker doesn't call you back. SC is pretty open about disclosing information to you and giving you the bad along with the good so you can make an informed decision (at least in my experience).

North Carolina wasn't nearly as forthcoming. Everything I got about the child I feel like I had to pull out of them. And I still don't know nearly as much about the child's past that I adopted in NC as I do my child I adopted in SC. He'll say things about his past and I'll think, Wow they should have told me about that.

It was also an interstate adoption and it went so SLOOOW. It took the worker a long time to even send in the paperwork to ICPC. But, I think she was overloaded as most workers are and it was her first ICPC placement so she was unsure of a lot of things.
In North Carolina, I understand that it is county regulated so every county may be different.