[jhenrie]

I'm running into many of the same issues & questions. One big one that I have to ask though: Is there an established "adoption ettiquette?" (Sorry, too lazy to spell check!) If we are very interested in a particular child (& the caseworker already has our homestudy), is there a certain amount of time we should wait before calling or writing the caseworker? Any ideas are welcome!!

For what it's worth, here are my lasting impressions of a few states:
--Texas (like other people have said) doesn't seem to return calls, emails, etc., & I've noticed that some of their child profiles lean on the WAY negative side, if not all negative. --Colorado was quick to send a brochure, but won't answer inquiries about specific children. --Ohio won't return emails or inquiries to their site, but it's fairly easy to get them on the phone. --Pennsylvania, Does anyone actually work in the child services division??? It seems like a ghost town! On the upswing, I have had GREAT communication from Arkansas, Washington State, Tennessee, & Nevada.

[parrothead]

So far I have found MO to never call back and South Dakota to take awhile. The only state to call back right away was Ohio. The problem I have with any state I have called is that when you tell them you are interested in a child they act like you are bothering them. I am fairly new to inquiring about children and am not sure what questions to ask. You would think the sw would tell you about the child without promting.

[jhenrie]

I totally agree! You would think the SW's would be happy to get a call or email from somone like us, but I have also felt like I'm calling someone who doesn't want to be bothered!

[lucyjoy]

MO is usually good about responding. Was it a particular county or kids or was it several different ones? Have you tried having your worker contact them? Also, if it was recently, they're having trouble with a judge that's suppose to be leaving at the end of the year, so a bunch of stuff is on hold.

[lambeausam]

lucyjoy -

It's amazing how that one man (the judge) has caused so many problems. I know there are a lot of people counting days until he is gone.

[parrothead]

lucyjoy,

It was two different counties. I was able to get out of them that he children I was interesed in needed families who were close to do extensive pre placement meetings.


On another subject why do agencies put children on the NATIONAL waiting list and then tell prospective families that they need someone in state or they are not available for adoption?

[jhenrie]

I agree. I at least like the profiles that give you an indication of that. Some of them will say, "Child has frequent visits with other siblings." Or, "She [teenager] desires to stay in the same school." Etc., b/c then at least you have an idea of whether or not you should even proceed.

[Reetie]

Our daughter was just placed with us last month from Maine. We are in CT -- I can't say enough about how great the SWs were in Maine. From the very beginning, everyone we met was amazing and they seem to be really in touch with the kids. We got a lot of info on our daughter (documentation) and feel that they offered as much information as was available. Our subsidy was processed/approved quickly and our ICPC went through in about 3 weeks. Our state is VERY slow but the SW in Maine really kept on top of things and kept things moving. All of the medicaid/insurance came through really quick too. I wouldn't hesitate to recommend or adopt again from Maine (although we have our hands full right now!). I don't know if this is the norm for Maine or if we were just lucky!

[J.A.H.]

Hi! I live in Texas and adoption here is awful. We're told there are 2000 kids in TX waiting for adoption but you can't adopt one to save your life. We were open to adopting 0-12 years and sibling groups and nothing ever panned out. Most of the kids we were offered had such severe problems they would have been a danger to our children at home. We were straight adoption and I think that the most adoptable kids go to the foster to adopt families. We were working through a private agency that works closely with the state. In the end a birth mother came into the agency and picked our family for her son. He came home to our family at 3 days old. He is now almost 2 and the joy of our lives. His 5 older siblings adore him. He turned out to have a rare brain defect and is very handicapped but I wouldn't go back and change a thing. This little guy was meant to join our family and we don't regret adopting. We would like to go back and adopt again but things are even worse in TX now. A lot of the private agencys depended on state money to keep going and with the budget shortfalls the whole system is in chaos. Good luck to everyone out there looking for their children. It does happen eventually.

[jhenrie]

There is one child in Texas that we queried about like 2 months ago. We have yet to hear anything back. The same has happened in South Carolina, as well. We contacted that caseworker through adoptuskids.org, the South Caroline website, & we send her our homestudy in the mail. Still...nothing.

Also, one thing we noticed in Texas was that some of the profiles are extraordinarily negative. Now, I realize that it is important for the workers to let you know the good with the bad, but sometimes they ONLY tell you the bad. There are 3 sisters listed, whose profiles are horrible! The middle sister, Jessica, has NOTHING positive written about her. No child deserves that!

We expressed our concerns about the situation to the director, via email. To date, the profiles remain the same, & we never received a reply to our email. It's unfortunate!

[JG1210]

We are adopting from Florida. Children's Home Society has many children waiting to adopt. We did not find it diffcult dealing with the social workers here, but they are overworked and we find ourselves calling them constantly to keep the ball rolling. Our social worker right now has close to 50 cases!

More than one social worker has told us( from different states) that they frown on out of state adoptions. The distance is a problem for them because several pre adoption visists are required before they release the kids.

My feeling is that it is also more work for them and with an already overload caseload, that is the last thing they want.

Just my two cents...

JG

[deedeedana]

I will say that I hope your experience is better than mine here in Ark!!!
We are adopting from another state .Just couldn't get together with our state! We are foster and adoptive home.

[LynMaria]

What part of AR are you in? We're in Little Rock.....foster parents and working on an interstate placement...waiting child. What has your experience been like here in AR?

[deedeedana]

Well LynMarie,
I will only say that I hope it gets better!!! We have a new supervisor that has been very nice. We are also foster parents but really are not used as we will only take infants due to the age of our children.
you can certainly email me prvt if you want.
They are having a big "Adoption Hoe down " in Batesville on Nov 22. I am certainly looking forward to it.