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People don't usually feel a strong need to post, "Things are great." It is during our trials that we feel a need to post. Sure, we share our joys, then often we disappear for long times until we have frustrations and problems. Adopting an older child is like a roller coaster ride. Rarely is it a smooth ride. I take offense at those who don't want people to share the bad times. If somebody is under unbearable stress and has had some bad luck, that is when we should band together and support the person. Not one person here has ever said he or she is a authority. And nobody is. Even professionals screw up. I like to read those who have adopted the most. I don't care if the posts are negative or postive. When people post about their kids, look back at the other boards. Most of them are negative. And, sorry, it's not just Pam. it's all of us. Including me. Somebody here just had a vendetta, imo. I say wipe the slate clean and get rid of all this garbage, and start supporting each other again. Otherwise, I, like others, will leave this place for a long time.