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Originally Posted By Mike

Last night, I watched the last half of "Dateline" about Rosie O'Donnell and adoption without my son. I've always been a fan of Rosie since her stand-up days, but last night I gained more respect for her.

Lifestyle issues aside, I think its great that a celebrity has stepped up to make Adoption a crusade. As many of us know, many states just don't care about the kids rotting in the foster care system (my own state included). By turning the spotlight on states like Florida and its bigoted adoption laws, maybe things will begin to change.

I'm glad she was as blunt as she was. As a single parent, I especially enjoyed being reminded about a certain politician's comments that "adoptive homes should be a mother and a father." Someone give that man another pretzel!!

>; )

Mike

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Originally Posted By Linda

I've always loved Rosie and quite frankly, who didn't know she was a lesbian? But who cares? She is raising wonderful, secure children.

I was impressed however with her candidness also. She is so passionate about children. What a blessing to have her on our side.

I also am adopting as a single parent. I have to wonder what Florida would say about me. When I applied to adopt my current three I was separated but not divorced (Divorce is actually April 1..yippee!)My fiance' moved in just before the children came along. So I was actually still married and living with my fiance' and was STILL considered a good match and a good mother. And I am! But would they think so? Probably not. I do have a mother and father present in the home. BUT...if things wouldn't have worked out with my fiance' it would be just me. And I am good enough. I adore my children, as I know you do , and I have many positive male role models in their lives.

I ,also, was upset with the only politician who would talk last night. It is that type of mind set that keeps the children in foster homes for far far too long. They need to come out of their closed minded world and see the real world. These children are our future! They need love and guidance from anyone willing to commit to them be they married, single or gay. I thought it was kind of funny when Diane Sawyer asked if he would be willing to spend a day with Rosie and family. He kind of paused and said well, I don't feel the need for that. He looked kind of scared.

Sorry this is so long but, as you know, we are all pretty passionate about the plight of the innocent children.

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Originally Posted By Ashley

This case touched me too. I have always had a lot of respect for Rosie, but I was so glad to see her bring national attention to this issue. I also have so much more respect for her now!

I heard Rosie talking about the Lofton case on her show earlier in the week. (I am a total Rosie groupie!) The case that was talked about on Dateline is also in her Magazine this month. (Anyone who would like to can read it online on her web-site). And the ACLU has a web-site about the Loftons, their son, family and this case. The site name is www.lethimstay.com.

I never knew that adoption by people who are gay and lesbian was actually outlawed in some states. And from what I have learned this past week, every year more states are passing legislation to make adoption more difficult for people who are in same sex relationships. With as many children in foster care waiting for adoptive homes, I can't believe we would ever turn away good parents who want to raise a child.

These children are foster care success stories. The gentlemen are model foster parents. I found myself learning about them and wondering where they got the strength to be such great parents. My heart aches for this family and for their child, Bert, who may be taken away.

This isn't only an issue in FL, it is a national issue. We know that our Pres. believes, as you mentioned, that children should be adopted only by heterosexual couples. And that is just plain and simple, discrimination! The fact that I am heterosexual or married doesn't make me a better parent.

Mike, you are a model parent. And a single parent. There is Indy, Basha, and many others who are single parents who are terrific. And Ali, who is a lesbian, who is an amazing foster parent. Families don't have to be "traditional" to be model families.

I think it is really amazing that there are people out there trying to limit who can adopt children, when I don't see them going and getting their foster and adoptive license to fill the void they would make.

this case may very well go as high as the national supreme court. NOt only can you write the legislators in Florida, let your regional representatives know your outrage, the president. If enough people join this fight we can change these anti-gay laws. They are laws that are hurting the children in foster care!

Ok, sorry for getting on my soap box, but this case has really touched me.

Mike, I know you are one of those Govt. people. Do you have any more suggestions on how we can try to help in this fight?

Ashley

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Originally Posted By po

I watched Rosie, but have this terrible habit of falling asleep. I missed the part where they were going to talk about why her foster child was taken away. Can someone share. I missed the whole last half hour.

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Originally Posted By Mike

I talked to mu sister this morning and she said "I had NO IDEA Rosie might me gay." Hmm, this is my "worldy" sister who works with the public, attended a liberal public college and generally thinks of herself as more "hip" than me, with my conservative tastes and clositered Catholic college education. Boy, I'd better break the news about Richard Simmons gently...

I was also nauseated by the Representative they had on. I always loathe the holier-than-thou political types. I think we should adopt a "Don't Ask-Don't Tell" policy for them, actually. We won't ask about your views and please don't bother me with them.

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Originally Posted By Linda

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I am a foster parent. I am a committed partner. I am a graphic artist. I am a blonde. I am a woman who doesn't like to leave the house without her hair and makeup done. I am a loving daughter. I am moral person. I am a person with faith in God. I am a woman who loves redecorating. I am a lot of things, and lastly on my list, I am a lesbian.

I have never been in the closet. I don't walk around with a big sign, but if I want to hold my partners hand, I do. I still occassionally get the comment - Well, you don't look like a lesbian. WHAT DOES ONE LOOK LIKE? Well, in Colorado where the "earthy" look is in, they look like most of the women I know.

I thought the show was great. I cried for the whole two hours. I cried for those wonderful men who have had some of their children for 13 years. The state of Florida let them move to Oregon with them, pays them to take care of them, but won't let them adopt them. That is the most assinine thing I have heard lately.

I'm glad Rosie finally spoke up. I agree that she didn't need to say anything publicly (we all knew). But, I do commend her for stepping up to the plate when the need arose.

I don't know how to make people understand that we are just like everyone else. We love, we hurt, we cry, we care, we pray, we eat, we pay bills, the only difference is who we love. Is it that important? Don't they have any other problems to contend with? I mean are we that important that they feel the need to ban us from loving children in need? I don't think we are special or differnt enough to be banned from anything. How can they say they care about children, but they won't do anything about it?

Luckily our caseworker, agency, friends, my co-workers and our families are very supportive of our efforts. I, like Rosie have never had to contend with many homophobic people. Even when I lived in Texas, believe it or not, it was a non-issue with people.

One thing that ticks me off is that anytime there is a gay/lesbian event the media only focuses on the extremes. I mean I don't see them showing the gay parade and showing the families or the everyday people. They show the small amount of extremist radicals and then everyone is on our butts again.

Do unto others as you would have done unto you.

Let me come in your house and comment on the way you and your wife are in the bedroom - I don't think they want that. I don't think it's my business.

I wonder if the Bush's will go stay the weekend with Rosie? That would be worth him being elected if he did.

Ali

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was absolutely hilarious - or would have been had I not been totally FUMING at that point! Poor guy, he was the only FL politician who didn't have sense enough to keep his mouth shut!! The rest of them, along with DCFS KNEW they were on shakey ground and wisely refused to comment!!!

Just my opionion. As for everything thing else -- I agreed totally and unreservedly with everything Rosie said - maybe with the exception that "there are NO families for these kids." There ARE families - we just can't get through all the garbage of the SYSTEM!!!

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Originally Posted By Mike

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Originally Posted By Jerry

It must be some left over "saturday nite affair/sunday morning front pew repentant" moralism oozing over Florida's northern borders!!!LOL!!

I think Ali called it....more "Homophobic behavior." Five years ago I would have been more optimistic about accepting attitudes gaining strength in our country, but after living in the rural south for 4 years I just don't know (I really miss California!!!AAArrghhh). I think Graham made a comment a few years back on a chat that was along the lines Gay and Lesbian couples have higher adoption success rates than heterosexual couples. Not sure about that, but I seem to recall something along those lines. If that is a fact then I think we all need to take a closer look to build a better model for us heterosexual folks.

Geez, I really wished I'd seen the show!!

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Originally Posted By Pam

as long as kids need homes, I think gays and lesbians should be allowed to adopt. I think it's ridicules to limit homes due to lifestyles (which I personally don't feel are choices). The only state that outright bans gay adoption (I believe...could be wrong here) is Florida. But I know many states make it difficult. This is blatant bigotry. I agree with you.

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Originally Posted By louise

I don't need to tell you where I stand on the *issue*, you already know that. I am glad you are here and sharing your life with the rest of us.

Thank you!

Louise.