[busymomma]

Hi! We are in the process of adopting our 8 month old FD and have 2 bio kids. We have been talking about whether we want to adopt or have another bio to finish our clan (we want 4 kids). I really have this strong urge to adopt a deaf child or hard of hearing. My husband thinks I'm a bit crazy But in the same sentance he says that he thinks we could do it. So what I want to know is this. Do baby's come from the hospital knowing about hearing problems? How often have you been placed or offered a child that had hearing problems? I'm trying to get a sense of how long we would be waiting for a child. We don't neccesarily need another child now. I'm just trying to prepare. Also, if you have dealt with a deaf or hard of hearing child, where is the best place to find information. I know there are plenty of different degrees of hearing loss. Also, there isn't really a reason I am drawn to adoption this certain special need. I just feel like it is right. Anyone else feel like that towards another special need? I feel a bit crazy and I won't talk to my family about this yet, I'm sure they'll think the same thing. Any encouragement?

[mom2bemore]

Babies are hearing tested in the hospital, at least in my state, but I think most. My moms friend and husband were deaf and the only thing I can think of is are you and your entire immediate family willing to learn another language, the kids will learn quickly but you and hubby have more of a challenge. Also have to think about schools, what kind of area do you live in, what assistance is available, etc?

I do feel a longing to help children with fragile medical needs, I have needs myself that I cope with on a daily basis, I am well versed in ALOT of things medical as a result of our family history, I think the burden would be too great on my family (husband and bio) to adopt a child with complex medical needs since I also have them but we are considering being 'professional respite-ers' for such children.

[Joy2566]

My three adopted kids are hearing impaired (one profoundly deaf). He came to us because I already knew sign language. It is very important for you to be able to communicate fully. Communication is our biggest challenge, but he has others related to the reasons he needed to be adopted. I would be happy to share more with you if you have specific questions.

[busymomma]

Oh yes, we are open to learning sign language. I've ordered some videos so that we can start using sign more in our home. We have our 3 year old, 16 month old and our eight month old learning now. We are just doing all the basics right now. It's really helping our 16 month old not whine so much now that she can sign some things. We have EI here (our 8 month old FD is currently in it). We live in Spokane WA which is a pretty large city with tons of resources. We know it won't be an easy ride but I feel like this what I'm called to do KWIM?Do you think already having three kids will be a deterent to place with us because the child may not have the full attention of a one child household? Do you think that sort of home would be ideal or could we make it work? Thanks guys for your input. I really do want more information from experienced people.

[momraine]

If you do a search on deaf adoption I know there used to be a website dedicated to it. I bet it would not be hard to find.

[Kelly Rae]

If your whole family is committed to learning sign then having a large family who are modeling signing would be an advantage. Another thing to think about is that infants with hearing may have other special needs. our daughter is hearing impaired, vision impaired, and motor muscular issues. I am drawn to medically fragile children and have found it very rewarding. Best wishes!

[Joy2566]

Originally Posted by momraine

If you do a search on deaf adoption I know there used to be a website dedicated to it. I bet it would not be hard to find.

I looked it up, it does not appear to have been updated since 2003. Most of the links don't work. It is deaf adoption news service. Friends of mine found their kids on it years ago.

[Perfect7]

If you sign up for an account with "adopt us kids" you can search for a specific disability. I logged on (haven't done that for quite awhile!) and they do have deaf-profound hearing loss as one of the search criteria.
We all learned a bit of sign language here to communicate with our autistic son. The other kids loved it and used it so "secretly communicate" during church, LOL!

[momraine]

It might be a good idea to start learning it now. Also get involved in the deaf communitee in your area. Once social workers know that you know sign and are willing you can spread the word. Also the deaf communitee often spreads word of deaf kids needing adoption.

[busymomma]

I'm thinking of maybe taking and ASL class at the community college here. I'm also looking into maybe finding classes that are free. I'll be calling our adoption coordinator tomorrow morning just to see what the wait would look like for a child like that. Maybe she can point me in the right direction to learning and preparing. We are regularly using sign around the house now. Probably using about 20 signs at this point and trying to use it in full sentances when we can. I've got videos coming as well. I'd like to be halfway proficient in it before we actually get a child. Plus our kids are all young, I wanted to wait a little bit longer for our next, especially if it is going to be a special needs child. I'm hoping I'm not going to be shot down tomorrow because we don't know it yet etc.

[Linny]

Before I got married, I was signed up with a semi-private college to finish my bachelor's to become a deaf education teacher. (Yes, my parents weren't too happy that I chose to marry my long time boyfriend and skip the last two years of college. I DID finish, btw, just not in deaf ed---but in psych!!!! LOL)

Anyway...I helped with preschool children who were deaf....a few adults.....took a few deaf signing classes--- learned a lot of ASL....you get the picture.

Today, my nephew (also adopted and near the age of our last baby)....has had to learn ASL. He's quick to learn and surprised some people by actually being able to verbally talk in sentences too! (Hooray!) He has a lot of other issues as well due to being exposed to CMV in utero.

Our baby is being shown ASL as we go along. We suspected 'something' was wrong; but even preliminary tests concluded she was 'normal'. We'd had ABR's done on her hearing too----normal.

It's only been about 3 weeks that we've been told she has a rare chromosonal disorder. This came as a shock.....I (and others) honestly thought we'd be dealing with FAS. We're versed with that---but in our baby's case, this isn't to be.

In both my nephew's case (who DOES continue to wear a hearing aide) and our own baby's case.....the immediate issues have NOT been hearing loss. With my baby though.....it may become an issue as we go along. Her delays in speech make it even more important that we continue to show signing to her----but initially (and until the next ABR)....her hearing seems to be normal.

MANY babies/children do not show hearing loss at first...and as others have stated, the hearing loss may be only ONE aspect of their challenges. For us, IMO, the hearing loss is minor compared to the list of possibilities she may face in years to come.

I am an Adopt America Network adoption specialist. I can tell you that 'hearing impaired' is also a challenge hopeful parents can check.....but in my experience, and knowing of many others, a baby or child with no more challenge than 'hearing loss' may be difficult to find. Those with it in the foster or private sector often have other issues to deal with too.

Sincerely,

Linny

[Joy2566]

Originally Posted by Linny

I am an Adopt America Network adoption specialist. I can tell you that 'hearing impaired' is also a challenge hopeful parents can check.....but in my experience, and knowing of many others, a baby or child with no more challenge than 'hearing loss' may be difficult to find. Those with it in the foster or private sector often have other issues to deal with too.

It is very often the case that hearing impairment comes with other issues. It really depends why they are hearing impaired. My children have a genetic condition that *should* only cause the deafness. However, ds has FAS and is bipolar; dd was born heroin addicted and has probable FAS, and has seizure disorder. Other dd was born while mother was incarcerated, so she does not have the drug and alcohol effects. She has the least trouble learning, but she has RAD(she is 12 and has had 16 placements). My children were also not diagnosed with hearing loss until later. DS who is profoundly deaf, was not diagnosed until he went to school. DD's were not diagnosed until 6 and 8, when an astute foster parent did not think they could hear.

[busymomma]

Wow! I just can't imagine not knowing a child is deaf until 6 or 8! That is just so far into life that catching up would be a real challenge right? I haven't called our adoption coordinator. I was about to and then I got all frazzled with the thought that she might just laugh at me and say there's just no way. I'd rather live in the thought that we can do this. I contacted the school here in town for the deaf. I asked if there were any volunter opportunities. We'll see what I can come up with. Any ideas what I should say to the coordinator if I ever call?