[lucyjoy]

My son has been in ISS for 3 days for theft. Today he was going back to regular class. He doesn't want to. He's been struggling with school but usually leaves happy and comes home happy. His explaination(he's 12) consists of-"Everyone is annoying" and occassionally-"Noone listens to me"

Well, they aren't listening because what he's saying is either off topic or makes zero sense. As for the annoying, best I can tell, if they breathe, it annoys him.

At first I thought it was maybe just hormones but it's getting worse and the paranoia is unreal. I don't think he's using drugs.

He gets upset over things that in my opinion are excessively minor. The kids switch the spelling of his last name to the word fish for instance and he goes balistic. This is pretty normal 12 year old stuff to do.

He has friends that come to the house, or on the rare occassion that he is ungrounded lately, he goes to friends houses or to the park to play football. The school reports he is immature but see no social issues.

He's failing 3 of his 4 core subjects. His IEP is getting dragged out to the longest possible legal time limits but I honestly expect them to tell me he's working at his IQ potential again.

If he does not qualify for an IEP and can't pass 7th grade without one, aside from home schooling, any one know of any other options(Mom is way to burnt out and tired to home school effectively even with large amounts of rum).

Can someone give me a short cut on what he needs to get a 504 plan? He has OCD-though the documentation is now missing. He also has a hearing issue which the documentation is unclear on but he will be seeing someone about that again soon.

[mommytoEli]

Originally Posted by lucyjoy

Can someone give me a short cut on what he needs to get a 504 plan? He has OCD-though the documentation is now missing. He also has a hearing issue which the documentation is unclear on but he will be seeing someone about that again soon.

similar things to what he needed to the iep- documentation of a problem that is causing him difficulties at school. ask for a meeting, in writing, and go from there. be clear before hand what it is you want the 504 to do for you- more time on assignments, preferential seating, books at home, etc.

[Bozo33]

Originally Posted by lucyjoy

My son has been in ISS for 3 days for theft. Today he was going back to regular class. He doesn't want to. He's been struggling with school but usually leaves happy and comes home happy. His explaination(he's 12) consists of-"Everyone is annoying" and occassionally-"Noone listens to me"

Well, they aren't listening because what he's saying is either off topic or makes zero sense. As for the annoying, best I can tell, if they breathe, it annoys him.

At first I thought it was maybe just hormones but it's getting worse and the paranoia is unreal. I don't think he's using drugs.

He gets upset over things that in my opinion are excessively minor. The kids switch the spelling of his last name to the word fish for instance and he goes balistic. This is pretty normal 12 year old stuff to do.

He has friends that come to the house, or on the rare occassion that he is ungrounded lately, he goes to friends houses or to the park to play football. The school reports he is immature but see no social issues.

He's failing 3 of his 4 core subjects. His IEP is getting dragged out to the longest possible legal time limits but I honestly expect them to tell me he's working at his IQ potential again.

If he does not qualify for an IEP and can't pass 7th grade without one, aside from home schooling, any one know of any other options(Mom is way to burnt out and tired to home school effectively even with large amounts of rum).

Can someone give me a short cut on what he needs to get a 504 plan? He has OCD-though the documentation is now missing. He also has a hearing issue which the documentation is unclear on but he will be seeing someone about that again soon.

sounds as if he should be seeing a mental health professional. He showing some signs of depression.
I went through this myself as a child, always upset and mad at the world, could not understand why or how a mother gives up a child, always wonder where I did belong and where I came from. Had a great adopted family, but always wondering about how I got to this
place in life.
Found out I was depressed and depression ran in my birth family, now with therpy and medication things are going great, it's a shame that it took so many years before I found out the problem.
get your son some help, a professional can help solve the problem

be there done that

[Barksum]

Some of what you describe falls into the FASD stuff. If he is the one with FASD this can easily develop into secondary issues like depression. Sure, he's being unreasonable, but...if that's the way his brain works you need to find ways to help him figure that out and to not believe everything he thinks just because it pops into his head.

Much of what you describe reminds me (sadly...) of my 11 yo. He goes ballistic over minutia. All day, every day. Once his button gets pushed he can't let it go. If someone does something that is highly annoying to him (and this includes a huge arena of human behaviors) he falls apart every time it happens. So if someone made fun of his name in a normal childish way it would continue to rule his entire being until he could resolve this to his satisfaction. Finding a way to resolve his hurts/annoyances/etc. has been difficult. Lots of constant reminders on how he is to deal with it. Specific reminders and strategies for how he is to think when he gets annoyed and how he is to respond. These are things he can't come up with on his own; he gets stuck in a loop of frustration over these itty bitty things. I can't accomodate all of his pet peeves. He has to learn to cope.

When you find ways that help, let me know.

[DannieAS]

Originally Posted by mommytoEli

similar things to what he needed to the iep- documentation of a problem that is causing him difficulties at school. ask for a meeting, in writing, and go from there. be clear before hand what it is you want the 504 to do for you- more time on assignments, preferential seating, books at home, etc.

yup what she said. One major difference with 504s and IEPs is that 504 is a general ed. function and IEPs are a special ed function....however, being on a 504 can get good accommadations for testing and assignments.

[lucyjoy]

He's not diagnosed FASD but that is what is looks like to me. I sadly have NO medical info before age three other then he had Hep B(makes me concerned about drugs that might effect the liver.)

I hadn't considered depression as he's angry alot, he's not unhappy if that makes any sense. But, I forgot, children's depression can look that way. Will consult mental heath after I consult physical health-want to be sure I'm not missing something and treating the wrong thing. These are new behaviors-over the past 18 months.

Thanks. I just hate to see him sit and flunk school and feel bad about not getting what the other kids seem to get out of the lectures. Looking at options. He's smart, just has a very different way of looking at things.

[mommytoEli]

if it makes you feel any better, one of my sibs had a really hard time in school. poor grades. he was also smart, saw the world in a different way. and i really think he probably has an undiagnosed learning disability or add. he was mad at the world, ran away, and he didn't finish highschool in the traditional sense, and then spent a few years "playing." but he has been going to community college and just got accepted into a university. he is getting good grades, and is LOVING school. he is excited about education NOW and wants to be a teacher. so sure, he is a few years behind those that are a similar age, but i guess he just needed some extra time.

i think having a 504 will help, but just know that sometimes kids can still "make it"....just a little bit later than their peers.

[Barksum]

Lucy, does he prefer ISS because it is more contained and monitored in such a way that he is more confident and feels 'safer'? Or does he like ISS because he doesn't have to do as much work or some other reason?

I've noticed in my Ds that as puberty approaches he's 'regressing' some and we've had to go back and deal with behaviors that I thought we were well past. Sigh.

[lucyjoy]

He likes ISS because he doesn't have to deal with annoying teachers or annoying kids, of course.

ISS is not monitored. The child sits in the principle's office, often by himself. (tiny town-principle teaches classes part of the day). I think he likes the lack of constant noise and distraction. He did say school was fine today. He does his work in ISS. I also think he gets the principal to help him when he is in the office(principle is about 12 himself, new this year, and S's study hall teacher).

He doesn't seem to be attempting to avoid getting out of work. He just doesn't understand how to study and it takes him hours to find answers that would take most kids 10 minutes. I attempted several times to teach him how to study but he gets stuck on things. His questions say blank and blank cause this. But if you ask him what 2 things cause this? He gets all upset that we are asking the questions wrong, we don't get it, we don't understand and melt down occurs. Any attempt to explain that the test won't be phrased like the homework is met with this "stuck" attitude that he can't get past.

[greenrobin]

Okay, here's the word from one of the best school district attorney's in my state: we ALL qualify for 504. This was his statement to a bunch of would-be administrators in my grad program. All you need to qualify for a 504 plan is to have something that impedes your learning. Having difficulty paying attention, anger issues, depression, ADHD--it all counts. We have kids on a 504 plan in our district who's main issue is paying attention in class. I am not kidding!

Yes, it does qualify your child for some modifications like reduced assignments and small group or oral testing (especially with high stakes tests) and other accomodations, but it also doesn't have quite the amount of teeth that Sp. Ed does. It's also a little more difficult to get some teachers to live up to the accomodations. You just have to keep on top of it all.

My bipolar son loved the SAC over the classroom for his 6th grade year. He said it was quieter. And considering the buzz in his own head that was added to classroom noise, I could understand.

You also probably know that most 7th graders are pretty odd. Their brains--even the "normal" ones--are undergoing huge physiological changes that alter their behaviors. I once knew a teacher who believed that maybe we should send all of our 7th graders away for a year and bring them home when they enter 8th grade so that we'd all be a little more sane! I love 7th graders. I teach them. I also understand her point of view!

It can get better. I'd explore the depression thing. It really does look like anger at that age.

[teacher-mom]

I think having a 504 plan in place will be helpful but it seems to me that his enjoyment of ISS is informative about his sense of security in school. Sometimes ISS can seem like a much safer place for a socially inept kid because they no longer have to function in the "real world" of their peers. I would echo the issue of depression. I would also check into getting a really good education psych. from someplace with good credentials such as a University or Children's hospital to test for not just learning deficits but clues to learning, holes in comprehension, how to communicate ideas to him, etc. If I could, I would do this before asking for the 504 so I would know what to ask for and have evidence to back me up. Good luck.