[Indy]

Many of you know my many trials and tribulations over the past 11 years from the boys. I wanted to share some tender things that have happened in the past couple of weeks.

As many of you know, J2 and I have not gotten along for a couple of years. When I had him move out in 2006, it seemed like the relationship would never recover. It got worse when he moved to IL with his girlfriend. It got so bad that my mother called me and told me some things that J2 had shared with her. Here is the message I sent to him, after we spoke.

My dear J2,
I spoke to my mother. She let me know that she had linked to you and was wondering how you were doing. You were very honest with her about your feelings and thoughts. More so, than you have ever been with me. I am very sorry that you feel the way you do. I am sorry for you feeling that I have failed as a father making you feel a part of the family. I love you as a son and always will. It has been a hard year with your younger brothers, especially V. I have struggled with parenting beyond what I ever thought I would with any of you boys. I ask for your forgiveness. Please give me another chance. I did not adopt you to become just another name in your past....
Love Dad....


Here was his response...spelling/grammar not corrected.

its ok i just want to be more than i feel right now and that nothing im doing good bought a truck going to pick my car up and going to get it fixed of corse by me i forgive you i got a new phone so when people call me they can hear me i wont lie i have been pretty upset thinking i was just adopted and let go. i want to be part of everything. you the boys i didnt say yes to you for no reason i want you to be my dad

This message I received yesterday. J2 has been texting me non-stop today. He has a part time job and is living with his bio mother. He hates it and his life right now. He told me that I was right...he shouldn't have quit school.

Next up...V

V's new girlfriend has created such a desire in him to turn his life around. He has told her things that I knew, but never discussed with anyone. She texted me tonight to say "thank you" for letting him go to dinner with her. V was at his drug/alcohol class. I called her, as I wanted to talk to her and didn't want any text proof. We spoke for over an hour. The change in V is not just in front of her, it is everywhere. His grades are up. He isn't smoking or drinking. V has quit cussing, not just around her, completely. His GF told me that V always refers to me as "dad". She said that he talks about me a lot?!! She says its not bad either. I was in shock. The things he has told her are staggering about his past. He has told her things I thought I only knew! He sees things more clearly than I thought, except when it comes to his brother. She is working on that, gently.

Up next J3...

J3 came into my life when he was just 9 years old. Now he is 18. He came into my room last week and said thank you for adopting me. He was very appreciative and very sincere. I was very moved.

C also came and spoke to me a couple of weeks ago. Not sure if he and J3 spoke or not. His line of conversation was very similar to J3's. He said he is very happy that I adopted him and loved me very much.

Not sure when the other shoe will fall, but I am thankful for the lull and the renewing of my heart.

[Barksum]

Happy for you and the boys.

[Lylac]

Awwwwwww those things are so sweet

[Juliana13]

I am glad you have those moments to enjoy and remember. You have been through a lot with them. I know from reading your posts over the past couple of years how much you love them and how hard you work to be a good dad for them. It is good to get a little feedback that they see it, too.

[blau5]

Your post made me cry.

[Angelnetty]

That is wonderful!!

[Perfect7]

That literally gave me chills!! You have shown them what a good father is, and they will take that with them forever. Thank you for sharing!!!

[sunshinemomma]

making me cry too

[momraine]

That is so wonderful to hear. They are blessed to havge you for a father!

[SAHmom]

Indy, thanks so much for posting this. Made me smile! Likewise, I am sure it warmed your heart to hear your sons say those things.

My 19 year old has done a complete turnaround and I believe that it has to do with his current live-in girlfriend. Family is very important to him and he nows wants to be a part of our family events...even volunteering to attend church with us! Unfortunately, our 18 year old is now going through that stage of thinking he doesn't need a family. His girlfriend {would love to use the word that Mike previously used, but wouldn't be appropriate here} encourages him to cut his family ties, so of course, she isn't welcomed in our home. I am hoping that someday he comes to his senses much like your sons have.

We here always knew what a great father/person you are, but it's nice to know that your sons are letting you know!