[Original Mike]

Here is a post I made to another site in regards to Adoption Awareness Month:

This month of November has been designated as “Adoption Awareness Month”. While adoption awareness doesn’t get nearly the attention of some of the other “awarenesses” around, setting aside a month to promote it is a great thing.

As an adoptive father, adoption has a very special meaning for me. Without adoption, I would not have any of my sons. They are the center of my universe. They are the reason I do what I do. Occasionally, they are also a huge pain in the butt! Still, they have given my life some of the most amazing moments imaginable.

All of my sons came to me when they were older and, thus, generally considered “unadoptable”. Sadly, many children in the US waiting for adoption see their “adoptablilty” drop dramatically after the age of six! All too often, these children age out of the system with nobody. The statistics are truly tragic. Too many kids leaving the foster system end up either homeless, incarcerated, or dead by their own hand.

Every night, more than 100,000 children in this country go to sleep without a permanent family. Some of them may have serious issues, but many are simply older kids who are not a placement priority for the system. Some may be part of a sibling group and do not want to be separated from their siblings. Many times, these kids will need time to ease their way into a family. They have been let down so many times that they are actually afraid to be a part of a family.

Too often, kids in the foster care system are stigmatized as “bad kids” or “problem kids”. I always smile when people meet my sons and make innocent comments like “Wow, I can’t believe your boys were foster kids” or “Your boys are so normal.” I’m really not sure what they were expecting. The only time I do get offended is when I get comments like “Don’t you want real kids instead?” or “You should start a family of your own.”

For the most part, my boys are typical teenagers. They go to school, they are involved in activities, they date, they leave dirty laundry all over their rooms. Like all teenagers, they’ve done stupid stuff. The kind of stupid stuff where I give them the old parental “What were you THINKING?” lecture only to laugh myself silly on the inside when they leave the room. (For the record, some elderly neighbors WILL get offended if you go out to the mailbox wearing just your boxers.)

My boys are amazingly resilient. They have survived things that would have destroyed other people. They have endured crushing losses. They have missed out on things that most of us took for granted as kids. Yet, they have grown into fine young men who make me proud every day. They have overcome difficult pasts to fully embrace a life that is ordinary. Even now, though, they surprise me. Last Father’s Day, my youngest gave me a card with Batman on the cover. On the inside, he wrote “YOU are my hero.” Just this past week, I was playing Warcraft (yes, I am a geek) and noticed that one of the boys had sent me an in-game mail. I opened it and it simply said “You are the best Dad ever!”

I guess my whole purpose behind this piece is not to brag about my kids. It’s to show what a wonderful thing adoption is. As we honor Adoption Awareness Month, I would love to see more people explore adoption in all of its forms. As our society has changed, adoption has changed. It is no longer confined to just the adoption of infants by married couples. Today, we have many types of adoptive families. We have families formed by the traditional infant adoption, we have families formed by foreign adoption, we have single-parent families, we have two-parent families. The common denominator in all of them is simple: we are families.

[Barksum]

Great post, Mike.

(And for the record, I would welcome a neighbor going to their mailbox in boxers. It's the guys who wear whitie tighties which are neither that bother me!! Think loosie beigies. Something about that loose leg elastic ruffling in the breeze when we drive by that gives me the creeps.)

[loveajax]

I'm sitting at my desk sobbing. That is just such a beautiful post. Thank you so much for sharing!

[kretzklan]

Very well written...and thought provoking.

[crick]

As I said on the other site....

I heart you.....(((HUGS)))

[MO_SingleDad-2B]

Well said Mike.

[jcm]

That was a very well written post, and thank-you for sharing it. Now I need to go find the tissue box...

[wannabeadad]

Mike it sounds like you and i have a bit in common. I'm in classes now to become a single adoptive dad hoping to adopt a son 10 or older. I have a question for you. Alliance or horde?

[zebramom]

Beautifully put Mike!

[joskimo]

nicely said!