[mommytoEli]

my ds is 6. his neurologist first decided he had adhd at age 1. that should tell you a little bit about his activity level. lol. indulge me as i live in denial and ask- is it possible to help a child cope with adhd WITHOUT meds ever? right now he is not medicated, and i do not plan to medicate him in the near future, but i continue to say that if i feel like it is our only hope, i would do it to help him be successful. this past weekend a mom of an adhd kid got me to promise that i will consider medication for him in the future should i notice adhd begins to effect his well being. so i don't need to be convinced to medicate....i believe it helps many children, and maybe one day mine, but in the meantime i just wonder, do you think a person with adhd can learn to be a functioning member of society successfully without meds? opinions?

[shy_bear]

I knew since our daughter was a newborn that something was not "right" When she was in prek we went to our ped and I was told I was the problem! She started K, and all heck broke loose!! We ended up taking her to a therapist at our local children's hospital. They were not in too big a hurry to diangosis as they wanted to get it right and we told them from the start we did not want to medicate. We learned tools that we could use at home and we passed on our knowledge to her teachers. She struggled SO much in school; she disliked school, was not making any friends, and was starting to fall behind. We knew it was time to do more. She has now been on meds for about 2 1/2 yrs. She does great!! She was just given two awards today at school!!
I think with the proper strategies in place it is possible to be med free. Are you seeing a therapist? I am not sure how old your child is; if younger I would suggest picture charts and any other tool you can think to make daily routines easier.

[its_a_small_world]

I truly hate the thought of medicating my child, but you can only do so much. My son tells me that when he is feeling overly hyper and he hates it. He feels like he can't sit still, his thoughts are all jumbled and he gets very testy and extremely impulsive. The meds just help ease everything for him and he feels normal again.

Also, it's extremely disrupting to the class if a child is constantly the focus due to their ADHD. It's not fair to the classroom, the teacher and especially the child.

Just my opinion! Good Luck!


Oops wanted to add that what also worked for us at home was clearly written out tasks that he needed to do each morning to get him off to school. Things like, get up, take shower, make bed and have times by them so that he could stay on course. We also did that for him at night. Routines are big for kids with ADHD, they thrive on it. We are now at a point that he doesn't need the tasks written down and he can actually get himself up with his alarm clock. I'm very happy and impressed with that! I still need to guide him most mornings and tell him to move it along with breakfast, brushing his teeth and getting to the bus stop. But for the most part, he does great!

[arkansas parent]

We are in the process of having our 6yo (almost7 yo ) checked to see if he has add/adhd or something else. We have the check list filled out and plan on taking him back to the doctor within the next couple weeks. I am starting to have second thoughts about starting him on meds. He doesn't have major issues at school and has improved with every school year. (pre-k he was a nightmare, Kindergarden was better and this year he has gotten even better)
The most important thing for T is to have a strick teacher and firm rules. He needs to know he is not going to be able to get away with things he shouldn't do. We started him back on fish oil and I am starting to see a change in his behaviors.

[mommytoEli]

Also, it's extremely disrupting to the class if a child is constantly the focus due to their ADHD. It's not fair to the classroom, the teacher and especially the child.

i completely agree. right now he is homeschooled and happy. i just wonder about the future....i am fairly certain he will be back in school in the next few years....and i'd love to think he would have learned enough coping skills to not be medicated. again, i am living in denial. i accept that. but what mom says, "i wish for my child to have to take meds to be successful." ??? none. so i wish he wouldn't need them. i know the reality. right now i want to hear about the slim possibility that he could make it without them.

Are you seeing a therapist?

i promise i am not being snotty when i ask why this is necessary? i have no idea. can you please tell me how it has been helpful for you?

[shy_bear]

The therapist provided us with strategies that I had never thought of. We currently are not seeing anyone, but I felt they were someone on the outside looking in who could help us be better parents, understand what our daughter is going through, and help us set up routines etc that would be beneficial for her. We had never dealt with ADHD and had NO clue what to do for her!! Our life had been us yelling at her b/c she was not completing simple everyday tasks...none of us wanted to be that like that!

[angelkisses0102]

More important, IMHO, is the childs well being and self esteem...

DD's self esteem has skyrocketed since medicating her last year at age 7 and in second grade. Yes school has improved (until recently per my other thread) but the change in my child's 'happiness' factor is amazing.

Our kids know they are 'different' and like all kids want to fit in. Medicating my child has allowed her this...

Good luck...I think it really depends on the child and their level of ADHD and their 'issues' within the spectrum of ADHD.

[mommytoEli]

Originally Posted by shy_bear

The therapist provided us with strategies that I had never thought of. We currently are not seeing anyone, but I felt they were someone on the outside looking in who could help us be better parents, understand what our daughter is going through, and help us set up routines etc that would be beneficial for her. We had never dealt with ADHD and had NO clue what to do for her!! Our life had been us yelling at her b/c she was not completing simple everyday tasks...none of us wanted to be that like that!

THANK YOU. that does make sense. i just imagined my little boy lying on a black leather couch talking about his day, lol, and not really understanding why it would help for him to talk about running around in circles or talking non stop, lol. but i never thought of what you said. so thank you for sharing.

[JackieN]

My niece was diagnosed with ADHD when she was in kindergarten and my sister choose not to medicate her. Her son had come to her from foster care on ADHD medication and she didn't like what it did for him (the truth is, he never really had ADHD and shouldn't have been on the medication, but that's a different story).

Her behavior in school wasn't that bad, just a little fidgety at times and an excessive talker. Today, she is 14 years old and doing great! She is still high energy, but has learned to channel that energy into productive and creative activities. Every child is different, but for my niece, I think the decision not to medicate was the right one. Her high energy level and excessive chatter is just a part of who she is and I can't imagine her being any different.

[mommytoEli]

Originally Posted by angelkisses0102

More important, IMHO, is the childs well being and self esteem...

DD's self esteem has skyrocketed since medicating her last year at age 7 and in second grade. Yes school has improved (until recently per my other thread) but the change in my child's 'happiness' factor is amazing.

Our kids know they are 'different' and like all kids want to fit in. Medicating my child has allowed her this...

Good luck...I think it really depends on the child and their level of ADHD and their 'issues' within the spectrum of ADHD.

i can see the self esteem thing. that is exactly what this mom said to me this weekend. she told me about her daughter, and her story sounded like mine- pulled her out of school to homeschool her, sent her back, and realized that her self esteem was shot. medicated her, and her dd was a completely different person. i believe it. like i promised her, when we get to the point that i can see my son's well being is being effected, i will stop and rethink it all.

do you see a lot of side effects from the meds?

i honestly don't know that my son is "that" bad on the spectrum. i mean, he is active. but that is about it. occassionally he makes impulsive choices that are not great, but he is also 6, so some of those things are because he is a kid. we are working him into a sport that requires hard work and his whole body. lol. he is enjoying it, and i do notice that while he is a little hyper there, he does listen and is learning. and when he gets home, he is tired for a while. my fingers are crossed still that we can find him help that is not medicine. maybe i will look into a therapist who can help us try to do this.

thanks!

[mommytoEli]

thanks for sharing jackie...that is encouraging!

[BrandyHagz]

I would think you could avoid medicating if you adjusted/accommodated his day in such a way that he'd not need it. Such as having an adjusted school day, with a very very small classroom with very very limited outside disruptions – but the overall ‘issue’ with ADD/ADHD kids is that they can’t focus/maintain attention – therefore, they can’t do things with what everyone else considers normal distractions.

When J was younger (pre-school aged) I had a teacher tell me that he needed to be medicated – I was really upset, mostly because I didn’t feel it was her place (and I still don’t) but also because I really worried that she wanted him medicated to make her job easier – lets face it, some kids are just harder to teach.

I still feel strongly that teachers shouldn’t push meds – but I do believe they have a place in the diagnostic team, as someone who spends a lot of time with the kids (and that isn’t mom or dad) they have insight that a diagnostician might find helpful.

What I don’t think should happen is a teacher should say “medicate” and the Dr. just responds based on that feedback without any real evaluation.

At any rate – J started K and like a poster said above – all heck broke loose. It was finally, in 1st grade, when a teacher and I were chatting and she said, “I just can’t imagine not being able to concentrate or do things I know I need to do. Could you imagine having no control over that type of thing?” that I kind of slapped myself out of my fairytale land of make believe and realized that I was actually doing J a great disservice by not getting him fully evaluated and medicated, if needed.

We started the ‘process’ then – and let me tell you, it was a process. I’m a strong believer in medicating only when really needed, so I was prepared to ‘wait’ as long as it took to make sure we were doing the right thing. The process took 8 mos and involved a number of specialist, including a leading Psychiatrist who specializes in children and ADD/ADHD (with published works). I mean, if I am going to medicate, I’m not just going to go to a pediatrician – which seems to be the typical first step for many.

Finally, we got J on some meds before he entered 2nd grade and he went from being a “behavior student” to being a model student – he was able to focus, concentrate and learn.

Once he finally caught up – and he did have to catch up, his class had gone on without him, as he couldn’t concentrate enough to learn – you couldn’t stop him.

ADD/ADHD is a disease – would you elect not to go through Chemotherapy for a child who had Cancer? Would you opt not to treat a child with a chronic illness like autoimmune disorder? Of course not. When diagnosed (and really diagnosed, not just a quick 10 minute PCP appointment cuz the teacher says Bobby is a handful) – you seek treatment.

Sometimes, holistic types of treatment work – behavior modification, dietary alterations and lots and lots of family support – but sometimes, the best approach is medication.

It’s worked for us and J even comments when he feels he’s having an especially hard day – for example, a few weeks ago, he got up really early and took his meds – by 10 AM he was unable to concentrate. He called me and asked if he could take his meds early, because he was unable to focus/do his work. For some, that might seem like a ‘crutch’ – but for us, it was just another indication that the meds are working and doing what they should do.

I still think about what that 1st grade teacher said about how frustrating it must be to not be able to concentrate – I think about it especially when I have had a long long day with limited sleep and my concentration is actually compromised – I can’t imagine being like that every day.

Anything is worth a try – including not medicating – provided you are willing to admit when you’ve tried and it isn’t the correct course of action and you need to move on to something else.

[angelkisses0102]

DD has no side effects except loss of appetite...but we have adjusted her meals to compensate. She loves getting ice cream before bed every night!

One thing I didn't think of until Brandy posted...

DS has some ADHD-like behaviors and we give him DHA supplements...have for the past 2+years. Every once in a while I wonder if they are working...yesterday I got proof it does. DS ran out of his DHA pills and DH forget to pick them up (for three days but that's another story...lol.) Anyway, DS's teacher is the aftercare director at school and yesterday she asked what's going on with him? I guess he was out of control yesterday...not awful but not his 'normal' behaved self (we have no behavior issues at school typically.)

Anyway, you may want to look into that...my guy NEEDS his DHA.

[BrandyHagz]

Side effects for us depend on the drug. He took one and gained a LOT of weight, so we took him off of that.

He took another and it reacted badly for him (made him agressive) so we took him off that.

Finding the balance for him wasn't easy - he can't take any of the 'slow acting' drugs or 'time release' drugs. He also can't take the non-stim drug that's out now.

He's all 'old school' - he takes normal dosages of Ritalin three times a day (morning, noon and after school). It has worked well for him for years and we're all happy

[mommytoEli]

yes, he gets his DHA! every morning. lol. i don't know that it makes a difference, but i won't stop giving it to him to find out. lol.


brandy. thank you. you said a lot of great things that are helpful. some i wasn't ready to hear, but i needed to hear. i appreciate that.

this:

We started the ‘process’ then – and let me tell you, it was a process. I’m a strong believer in medicating only when really needed, so I was prepared to ‘wait’ as long as it took to make sure we were doing the right thing. The process took 8 mos and involved a number of specialist, including a leading Psychiatrist who specializes in children and ADD/ADHD (with published works). I mean, if I am going to medicate, I’m not just going to go to a pediatrician – which seems to be the typical first step for many.

was especially encouraging. i feel the same way about medicine. and i have been very put off my the last two doctors that stood ready to write a perscription based on behaviors they saw for 5 minutes in the pediatrician's office and once at the neurologist. it made me nervous, like maybe they didn't have my son's best interest in mind when they were willing to just dole out drugs.

Anything is worth a try – including not medicating – provided you are willing to admit when you’ve tried and it isn’t the correct course of action and you need to move on to something else.

i will take this to heart.