[crick]

I have this rule about make up. No make up in school til 7th grade except lip gloss.

DD went to a bday party this weekend and one of the gifts in the gift bag was that glitter eyeshadow. No biggie...it's a girl thing etc.

This a.m. she asks me if she can wear it to school and I said "no, you know the rule". Got the puppy dog face but otherwise no big drama about it. A bit later I decided she could wear a bit of it since I realized that all the girls from the party would likely be wearing it and while I don't necessarily want to change my rule or have her be completely in the "pack mentality", I decided for today she could wear it. I knew it would be harder peer wise to not be included in the "We all went to this party and are wearing x x & y at school on Monday" thing that girls just do.

S says "Oh Thank YOU!!!!" and what does she do? Reaches into her backpack to take it out. Sigh. So obviously, she had already planned on wearing it once she got on the bus regardless of anything I said.

I know this isn't a huge transgression really, I mean, kids do sneak stuff etc. But...it irks me. Irks me to no end because the sneak thing is the main carry over behavior from her early days and while I need to be realistic about the fact she'll probably never break that habit completely, I'm still irked. Why? I mean if I KNOW she'll be the more than average sneaker, then why do I get irked when she does it? lol.

Little Monday Drama...

[thanksgivingmom]

At least she asked you instead of just sneaking it?

I don't know - that's a tough one....

While I know it's not the same at all, my neice was/is the same way (though not for the same reasons, etc.) but it just makes me go, "Tweens!!!!"

[saranbr]

Oh I hear you. The two things I hate more than anything are the sneakiness and lying and I'm not sure I can get past that. I don't care if he poops all over himself, that I can handle, but the sneaking around puts me straight over the edge.

[mommytoEli]

i have come to the conclusion that my kids do all kinds of stuff at school they know i don't allow. they steal money to buy snacks they know they should not have and do no need. they wear their clothes in an inappropriate manner. they talk in a way i would never allow here. i know this bc i have 2 at the same school that rat eachother out. lol. i can't control them there. i've tried, it doesn't work. lol.

i will say that i talked to my dd over and over and over again about not wearing other people's make up (bc she doesn't have her own and i envision her putting on other people's at school), and then a few weeks ago my SON came home wearing someone else's mascara. lol. i didn't think to have that same talk with him.

i also don't know what to say other than "tweens/teens." they are weird.

[crick]

TGM - I know she asked first and I *could* give her points for that but I'm willing to bet that stuff was already in her backpack before she asked. kwim? Course...I don't KNOW that for sure and might just be a little "irky" right now.

Saran - I think that's just it likely...overall, this is my biggest "Irk Button" - the sneaking. I just hate it in general.

Mommy - LMAO! Okay, "have make up convo with boys too" is now added to my "Tween-Teen Checklist" of discussions. Oh Vey!!!

[thanksgivingmom]

Originally Posted by crick

TGM - I know she asked first and I *could* give her points for that but I'm willing to bet that stuff was already in her backpack before she asked. kwim? Course...I don't KNOW that for sure and might just be a little "irky" right now.

Oh, I don't doubt it was already in her backpack! Just saying that, yes, she was definitely planning to put it on no matter what you're answer was, but she went through the motions of asking Us girls can be stinkers like that!

[ajjhmf]

Yeah, my kiddo pulls stuff like that too. Irks me to no end. I KNOW kids his age to sneaky stuff, but so much of HIS sneaky stuff is leftover from the past. I KNOW it's gonna take time, but I think if he can't follow my rules about toys going to school, is he really listening when we talk about not drinking, smoking or doing drugs?

[paigeturner]

Darn I miss those tween years! Crick, this type of sneakiness is frustrating, for sure, especially since you had clearly thought it through and had decided to bend the rule this time. I had the same 7th grade rule. I caught my oldest coming home from school a couple of times with remnants of makeup on. Since we had many conversations about the ick factor of borrowing other girls’ makeup, I finally just said, “Look, each time you act sneaky and/or use someone else’s makeup, you are proving to me that you’re too young to wear it. So, here’s the deal, each time I find out, and I will find out, you’ve applied makeup at school, that will be a week that you go to school in the 7th grade with a naked face.” She finally got to wear makeup in November of the 7th grade.

[DPline]

Originally Posted by mommytoEli

then a few weeks ago my SON came home wearing someone else's mascara. lol. i didn't think to have that same talk with him.

i also don't know what to say other than "tweens/teens." they are weird.

I believe I may just go hide under my bed until my kids are grown!

[crick]

Ajj - I think about that too, with the "can't trust the little thing, then when the big things arrive...." One thing I've been noticing though is that kids in general have this built in "sneak factor" sometimes. It's a part of that independence, making choices for themselves etc. growing up they do. So part of me wonders if they stick to doing the little things then that helps keep them from feeling like they have to completely rebel and go after the more harmful things. kwim? I dunno...it's hard to know!

Paige - I am so stealing that from you. Thanks!! Since she'll be in 7th grade next fall, it's perfect timing!

Debbie - any dust bunnies under that bed?

[DPline]

Originally Posted by crick

Debbie - any dust bunnies under that bed?

The dust bunnies are less scary than the stories people keep telling about their tweens and teens!

[DannieAS]

I know that the main issue here is the sneaky behavior but goodness....tweens and makeup....darn if you do, darn if you don't....

I was so into my team sports I loathed makeup at middle school and my mom was begging me to wear pretty makeup to go to school....I decided that if she was going to "annoy" me with wanting to wear makeup, I'd annoy her....so I slabbed lipstick all over my face once and said, "there you go mom, I have make-up on!"....one of the only times I saw my mom cry....her angel became a monster at 14ish....

Sorry you had some Monday drama Crick

[crick]

Dannie..you rebel rouser you! LOL! I'm not sure that your mom didn't start crying because she was scared out of her mind seeing your clown "IT" face.

Right now she's in the middle...avid soccer & bb player yet she does like some "girly" things. And really, it's not the make up per say as you stated. It's just my rule for middle school and 6th grade right now is elementary.

I wore make up in middle school and I know my mother was horrified at some of the ways I put it on. Remember the straight streak of blush with the yellow? Anyone? LOL!

[mommytoEli]

Originally Posted by crick

I wore make up in middle school and I know my mother was horrified at some of the ways I put it on. Remember the straight streak of blush with the yellow? Anyone? LOL!

no...lol...what year was that? i'm a child of the 80's and i DO remember blue mascara. lol.

[DannieAS]

Originally Posted by crick

Right now she's in the middle...avid soccer & bb player yet she does like some "girly" things. And really, it's not the make up per say as you stated. It's just my rule for middle school and 6th grade right now is elementary.

Oh no I know....I think my mom just wanted me to WEAR makeup....she would have been HAPPY to be worried about the weird way I would have put it on.

Yeah I didn't get girly til college....once my fantasy about being a sports icon ended...I started acting more like "a girl" and less like a sports maniac/gangsta wannabe with my LA Dodgers hat backwards and bling.

I was only in elementary during the 80s...(I consider myself a total 90s child....Jr. High-College between 1990 and 2000) but I do remember the blue mascara MommytoEli!!!!!!!!!!!!!