[MomwithFive]

Originally Posted by mommytoEli

my RAD kid is already mine, and she DOES have an impact on my little ones. they see some chaotic stuff, and even they see that it isn't right. they call her out on her lies, tell her things are crazy when she makes stuff up, but at the same time, sometimes they try things she does. my dd is almost 15. my only hope at this point is when she leaves our home at 18, the boys will still be young enough to recover.

definitely think twice BEFORE you finalize....just so you are sure you are making the right choice for everyone. i know it's hard. hang in there!

We, too, hope the other kids are not negatively affected. They do know it's wrong and they walk away when we walk away. We thought about it alot before agreeing to finalize but I don't think you realize the impact until you live it after finalizing, does that make sense? We have all learned good coping skills through this experience though.

[MomwithFive]

Originally Posted by aspenhall

So quit being truthful in your opinion, or add after your opinion. "You should order it anyway just to prove me wrong".

I could stump dd by telling her to do what I thought she'd do anyway. Then she was stumped either way. It was the only way to be sure she would lose no matter what. And losing all the time, out-tricking her ALL the time is what finally helped her to just give in and give up the battle.

Same here, we are getting good at letting her know what she plans on doing before she does it. She gets slightly aggravated and it spoils her plan which is a good thing.

[kretzklan]

Today living with a RAD child has meant: putting her quilt in the washer after specifically being told only sheets and her blanket...did I mention the quilt is mostly white - or WAS mostly white. I caught it early in the cycle...but...
Buying a squishy ball with her own money...tearing a hole in it and getting caught EATING the crud that was coming out...then telling Dad that she had to eat it so it wouldn't get on the car seat...I caught her doing this in the side view mirror. She now thinks I'm a witch or something...she couldn't figure it out.
This is all added to the fact that she bought an LED light and lost it within 2 hours for shining it directly in people and dog's eyes...the only rule she was given to not do.
Oh yeah, when she got dressed today she put on her shirt inside out...told me she had no shoes (even though I had laid some out) and pulled her pockets out as far as they could stretch and announced she was 'ready'.
When we got home and she was sent to her room so I could have one quiet hour...she came out three times in the first 10 minutes to ask me when she's getting the ball back. You mean the one I threw away and is under the bag of dog poop in the big trash can? I didn't say that...but that is where it is. I ignored her completely. But, that is getting hard.
BTW, she told me yesterday that she would never apologize to me because she doesn't care if I have hurt feelings. Yes, I knew that...but she said it - proudly. Can I just say that a nice boarding school about 10 states away is looking wonderful right now?

[LisaF]

The inside-out backwards clothes thing cracks me up. My son came out of his room today with all his clothes backwards, including his underwear! Even his jacket was backwards (not sure how he zipped it up) and the hood was sticking up in his face! If I ignore him he'll eventually change them back but if I point out his clothes, he'll deny they are on backward....just weird.