[yrn2Bamom]

Hi everyone - I am looking at possibly adopting a child who is diagnosed with RAD. The child is a 10 yr old girl. Says that she currently has a strong bond with foster parents. I guess the rad comes in with strangers. She knows no personal space. She can also act out at school at times. It appears that she is on meds, I assume for RAD as there is no other diagnoses. But the meds are for ADHD, depression, and a psychotic drug. Is this normal for rad? She was in a behavioral center for a week before her current placement. Any advice or experience you have would be appreciated. Thanks, Angie

[Lorraine123]

First of all, if she has RAD then she can't have a strong bond with the foster family. Who said that? I would question it.

There are no meds for RAD. The meds would have to be for behaviors, such as raging, hurting herself, depression.

Find out why she was was in a behavioral center.

Lots of unanswered questions.

[yrn2Bamom]

Thanks Lorraine for your reply. The information I have came from her social workers adoption profile. It says that she has had behavioral issues in former foster homes. While at the behavioral center they diagnosed her as rad. There was no mention of adhd or anything else. Something just doesn't seem right to me. Even if she does have adhd is it normal for her to take meds for that then another med for depression. They also have her on 1 mg of anti-physoctic meds. All those meds just don't add up. I hate to see a child medicated and not have any diagnoses for it.

[mommytoEli]

i always say those files aren't completely accurate. and workers aren't always up front and honest. first of all, i agree with lorraine...she is no way bonded to her foster parents AND rad. no way. how long has she been with them? if she is taking meds, she is dx with something else. my rad dd took meds....for anxiety. and yes they helped....with her anxiety...but she still can't bond, she is still mean, she still seeks to hurt people. meds can't cure that.

I guess the rad comes in with strangers.

my experience is the opposite- my dd is super charming and fabulous with strangers. at the beginning of the year, i get notes from teachers telling me they wish they had a class full of dd. they sing a different tune by the end. but RAD kids LOVE them some strangers....and seek to push away and hurt those that are "close" to them...like caregivers. if she is truly exhibiting a strong bond towards her foster parents, i'd guess she's been there 30 days or less.

sorry to be a downer...i just hate to see situations like this...since i live in my own personal little nightmare every day. RAD kids are a lot of hard work. i agree there are LOTS Of unanswered questions. what is she medicated for excatly? why was she in the behavioral center? can you talk to former foster placements about her behavior? those are the questions i would be asking next.

[kretzklan]

Everyone else has said it - but being attached to her fosters and not attaching to strangers would be normal behavior - that would not get a dx of RAD. No meds for RAD, so they must be treating other issues that she shows - even if it's not a formal dx. My RAD son takes meds for ADHD along with a med for bi-polar (although he doesn't have a formal dx for that). RAD DD is on anti-axiety meds and they work for the big anxieties (crazy ones) -but daily stress and the RAD are not gone at all.

[yrn2Bamom]

Thanks for the responses. I agree that something doesn't seem right. She has been with her current placement since Jan. 09. Adoption profile appears to have been completed in July 09. Just so you know with strangers - it says that she will go and sit on there lap to talk to them, have them read to her, or show them something. Says she has a high need for adult attention. I will try to call my social worker tomorrow to see if she can find out why she was placed in behavioral center and what the meds are for. Unfortunately it took her 2 weeks just to get me the information that I have now.
Here is part of her profile (I have removed her name):

She is an active child, interested in playing outside and always interested in making new friends but she doesn't always know how to approach other children. At times, she is so interested that she may not exercise caution with strangers. She has a high need for attention and interaction with adults and will try to get attention of adults who come in to the home by sitting on their knee without asking them, or asking them to read to her, or walking to show them something. Her care givers continue to work with her on interrupting, and boundary issues. She is showing signs of improvement.

Thanks again for all the replies

[kretzklan]

Oh yeah - RAD. Being indiscrimately affectionate with strangers is a biggie. That means she is showing THEM her love and attachment (which she actually can't do at all) and not showing that to family. Having only been with her foster family for 10 months - yes, she could easily still be in honeymoon with them, so they would think she is attached. Mine faked it for about 14 months, before they figured out that I wasn't going away...then all heck broke loose.
Also of note - not being able to approach and make friends is a big issue for my DD. It's all about control...she doesn't know how to let anyone else have a say in her life - so little girl A wants to swing...she will refuse because she didn't come up with that idea. It turns people away quickly...and it's tough having a child that doesn't have friends at this age (my DD is 10)...REALLY tough.

[mommytoEli]

Originally Posted by kretzklan

Having only been with her foster family for 10 months - yes, she could easily still be in honeymoon with them, so they would think she is attached. Mine faked it for about 14 months, before they figured out that I wasn't going away...then all heck broke loose.

i agree. ......

[greenrobin]

Originally Posted by yrn2Bamom

Something just doesn't seem right to me. Even if she does have adhd is it normal for her to take meds for that then another med for depression. They also have her on 1 mg of anti-physoctic meds. All those meds just don't add up. I hate to see a child medicated and not have any diagnoses for it.

It kind of adds up to me, at least it would if she had the same issues as my Sonny.

Sonny has been diagnosed with ADHD, ODD, bipolar, and a tendency toward depression. His initial drug cocktail included 2 ADHD drugs, 2 anti-depressants, a mood stabilizer, and an anti-psychotic. It took all of that to keep him stable enough to make it possible for him to function.

It's really been my experience that no child gets high-powered meds like these without a diagnosis existing somewhere. You might need to be more aggressive in your questioning.

And I'm with the others--honeymoon for sure. And RAD for sure--normal 10 yr old girls don't sit on the laps of anyone they don't know, and usually not even on the laps of those they do. They're too big, physically and/or emotionally. That just screams attachment issue to me.