[SAHmom]

Well, our two 'new' kids came home today. Guess I need to change my sig! As "S" was being discharged from the facility today, we skipped the necessary visits. However, we did have to have a three hour walk through for kinship placement yesterday. Without going into detail, this has so far involved alot. Poor hubby asked why we couldn't JUST ONCE have a straight adoption without any problems...I told him I didn't think that was possible! I also had to remind him that this is the very reason that God has blessed us with the children we have. We have never had it 'easy' so why start now? In the end, though, it is SO worth it! The kids finally went to sleep and I am catching up before heading to bed.

Our just turned 18 year old son decided on his 18th birthday to move in with his 15 {!!!} year old girlfriend and her grandfather. I can't understand parents nowadays as I would NEVER allow something like this! Anyhow, since turning 18 on the 25th, he has gotten in two fights resulting in a black eye and being suspended from school. This is sad as a parent to watch as the Wednesday before his birthday we had an IEP meeting and for the first time EVER he had As and Bs. Not sure how he is going to make it because he doesn't have a job, nor a driver's license. We have heard that he is driving around town without a license and has a few piecings.

For the most part, our other children are doing well. Sure we still have a few fits here & there, but nothing major...yet! Our oldest is a junior in college - thank goodness! He changed his major from German/Computer teacher to Informational System Specialist. Our oldest daughter is a senior in high school this year. She just received her driver's license and I will probably worry every time she drives. She has had the same job since earlier this year and saves all her paychecks for a car. She plans on attending college next year to become a teacher.

So, anyhow, that is our small fall update...what's yours?

[momraine]

Well lets see, our biggest update is M, though I am so afraid of jinxing it! When we went to the attach conference, I explained to him where we were going, how long we would be gone etc. He wanted to know why we were going and what we would be doing. When I explained, he was surprised. He knows about RAD and that he is the only one in the house with it. He was shocked that dad and I were spending money to go to school to learn to be better parents for him. It made a huge impact on him. Right before that I took him to his team of doctors and dietitians and they said he is now healthy enough that I can drop the eating battle for a while. I told him he is now in charge of feeding his body and taking care of it. The combination of those two things has made it seem like I have a new kid! His teacher is starting to have trouble with him talking in class. It's not going to stop until she quits trying to be nice to him and really comes down on him. I had a conference yesterday and she seems ready to do that. I got his report card and he has all A's and B's, pretty good for a kid that didn't speak English 3 years ago.

P and I are still struggling some with her homeschooling, but seem to have it down. Of course yesterday we were both frustrated, because we left three things to do in the evening, because of appointments in the afternoon and wouldn't you know it, but the internet went down. So now we are behind again since all three were on-line only things. She is doing dance three days a week and loving it, she is getting really good on her new pointe legs.

W, got straight A's and is very proud of himself. He is enjoying band, and really enjoying hanging out with his big brother and friends. The boys seem to have recovered thier closeness, which had kind of suffered a little when one was in high school and one in junior high. He is still doing dance, and is doing Ag at school and loving it.

S has come so far it's amazing to me. He is drum major in the band, he has lots of friends and the same GF for the last two years. He does a lot of driving his sibs around for me and has become helpful at school. He had almost all A's with just a couple of B's. but he is also taking a couple of honors classes. He is getting serious about school and looking forward to college.

[o2b30again]

My fall update...

We finalized on three of our children just last week Three more hopeful this winter

As a family we decided to join TKD. Should be interesting. Not certain if I am going to enjoy it but am willing to give it a try. Maybe it will help get rid of the extra 30 lbs I am carrying around. Until then I am going to look like a marshmellow in my uniform

My 9th grade daughter is getting all B's and doing her homework!!!! This is a miracle in itself. She is also in soccer, marching band, performance show choir and theatrics. Keeping her grades up is wonderful!!!

My 6th grade son is enjoying band and is making huge gains in dealing with his Auditory Processing Disorder/ Expressive Language. He actually now involves you in his typically one sided conversations He is showering without reminders and working on his outwards appearance....eek! Girls beware!

My 3rd grade "Radlet" is adjusting really well. She is really looking forward to her adoption getting finalized. We all have a goal of Feb 2010. She is struggling with simple math and reading but is still at grade level which is good. Another big gain is that she is keeping friends!

My kindergarten son is doing SUPER! He has only had one really bad day. We weren't certain how he was going to handle normal kindergarten. His teacher is really working hard to understand all the "issues" that come with teaching a child with fetal alcohol disorder. I am glad she is figuring it out because she has 2 more in coming up

My two sons that are in special ed are doing really well. They are making friends and staying focused, for the most part. We haven't had any major melts or fist fighting. I have stopped holding my breathe every time one of their teachers approaches me. Even the bus ride has been uneventful! For RAD and FASD they are doing GRRRREAT!!!! There are days you wouldn't even know that they have inner struggles.

My 3 1/2 yr old is still struggling with behaving for me and her daddy. Everyone else says she is the sweetest little girl. For the most part she is. Then there are THOSE days. She has taken to church on Wed. nights, storytime and attending HeadStart every Friday. We will see how she likes TKD. The more busy she stays the better her little mind behaves. So activities are a must for her. We are just now figuring out what areas her FASD is going to effect her. I wish it had been more in the academics and not behavioral (this is the selfish side of me. Neither is really better!)

Our 18m old was just dx with RAD and PTSD. This was a blessing to finally have a dx because it gives us validation to what has been happening around the house. She is doing pretty well but the shut downs are so scary. We are learning how to cope with this and have been doing some studying on how to handle a child this young. That doesn't talk with these issues.

All in all it has been a fantastic fall!!!

[ajjhmf]

I haven't been around much, but here's our update.

J has had a rough transition into 4th grade. We've increased his intervention level to the point that he is now maxed out at this level. Our next step will be to move him into our districts equivalent of a self-contained classroom. He'd be with an aide in a regular ed environment for science, social studies and related arts, but all other time would be spent in the Learning Center. I'm observing 2 options next week then the team will meet to make everything final. One is a mish-mash of learning disabled and developmentally delayed kids with normal IQs. The other is for Austism Spectrum kids.

Which bring me to the other part of the update. J was diagnosed PDD-NOS this month. Although he overall scores put him in the Asperger's range, the doctors felt that a few of his sub-scores were low enough to not qualify him for that DX. PDD-NOS is still an Autism Spectrum Disorder though and while it was hard to hear, it did explain a lot about some of his struggles. And the good news is it opens so many more doors for us in terms of resources.

Also, J is playing soccer this year for the first time since 1st grade. There is a special needs soccer league in our town that has been just wonderful. I also found a hockey league like that, but I'm still debating as the cost is really high.

H continues to do well. We have had some health problems with her that are clearing up and she is learning to live with the fact that I didn't send her to kindergarten this year. As it is, she is learning to read and write at home. She's still dancing and started soccer this fall.

M started preschool this fall as well. He's 3 now and aged out of county based EI, so now we are onto school based. Thankfully, our school does special ed well. He has the same teacher as H, although in the morning. I love his OT at school and is making great strides in the fine motor area. We are still working with a private OT as well whom he loves and works very hard for. No extras for him yet, but we are looking into swimming to build those core muscles and work on his motor planning.

All in all, things have been busy but survivable. That is until last week we were all struck down with the H1N1 flu. Simultaneously. All I can say is this...steer clear. While none of us are in the high-risk category, it wiped us out and took 4 days to recover from after the flu symptoms passed. As it is, 3 of us are now fighting secondary infections from it. YUCK.

[kretzklan]

Knock on wood...things around here are looking pretty positive.
DH and I are doing much better. Talking more - yelling less...stressing less. We seem to be able to work together in a better way and the love I always know is there is evident now.
DS1 has struggled a bit emotionally...but I think I played into it too much. I was able to speak to a counselor at his school and he is well liked by peers and teachers/staff - so I just need to chill out. Being a teen is totally different now than in my 'olden days' and making that transition is weird for me. He is doing well in school and working really hard on baseball (his first love). He's becoming more responsible and steps in to help without full direction quite often (he made dinner all on his own without being asked while I was running kids all over the other night)...he even stepped up to the plate with a teacher at school whom he felt was grading him unfairly - and got the grade changed! All As and one B for him so far...has a girl "friend" and the info there is scarce!
DS2 is doing better behaviorally in school. We did a change in meds and I'm not pleased with the results - I swear they are reacting with him like stupid pills. He simply can't common sense through anything right now...very questioning about simple routine. Annoying, but we are standing firm in our response. His grades look ok, but daily work is lacking...leave no child behind so pass them all whether or not they should be! He is a generally polite kiddo and is still my best 'performer' in engaging in cool activities and imaginative play! He's playing flag football and scored 4 touchdowns last week (out of his team's five) - he's a fast little booger and we are looking forward to track again in the spring!
DD is doing pretty well. After getting her teacher on board with the seriousness of the situation with RAD - she really does seem to be making strides toward normalcy. Her grades are fantastic and on the state testing last year she scored 100% in the vocab section which is amazing (only learned English 3.5 years ago). She is at a new gym for cheer/tumbling and is working through a bit of a stall out. Her self-harming has died down and she is actually caring for her body in a better fashion. She enjoyed tennis lessons and we are looking into another 'season' of that!

[Mkuhlmann06]

It's great reading everyone's updates!! Here are mine:

T - WOW, has he really come so far in just over 2 years. He's managing his own homework/classwork. I am no longer sitting with him daily, doing HW for 3 hours a night. He was discharged from all services this summer (mobile therapy, trauma therapy, pschological evaluations, behavorial therapist) and with all the changes to the house lately (see below) he's been appropriately handling it all!!! We only see the psychiatrist quarterly for meds. In the past year, he has grown 4 1/4" and gained 3 lbs (thanks to a summer off meds!) so he's no longer my lil boy. He's playing fall baseball on a teener league and has had a girlfriend since the end of school last year. His two year adoption anniversary is this weekend!!

R - Still my drama queen, attention seeker... but it has become more manageable. She's also doing well. Her meds (for ADHD) were increased a dosage level from last school year and it seems to have made the difference. We are still NOT FINALIZED yet (UGH the FLORIDA system!!!!!!!), but have finally been given full disclosure as of Friday last week. I am supposed to submit my affidavit and adoption subsidy request letter next week. We are hoping to finalize within the next four weeks. If not, the GAL has already told me she will do an "order to compel" with the court for the agency to get their butts in gear. The reason for the hold up on full disclosure? B/c they didn't want to pay the $2/sheet for copies of hte documents they were missing and needed to get from the court. So instead, they wanted to pay my agency $60/day to keep her in foster care how many months longer than need be?!

H - Our somewhat surprise addition joins us permanently tomorrow! We thought we were done after two and I couldn't help but inquire on her back in July/August. I was told by our statewide adoption network last week that HUNDREDS of people inquired on her after her airing on Val's kids (local tv anchorwoman who aires foster kids each wednesday). She's got so much going on (new family, new school, new town, new job location) and some medical uncertainty, we know we will have some bumps coming up in the next few months. Did I mention she's 18 and a senior in HS? Foster care here can be til 21 if in school/training, but she did contemplate signing herself out at 18. She has really fit in well with the kids and our family dynamics. I feel good about the placement even though she's been acting out at the group home all week.

So in less than 10 months we went from 1 kid to 3...its been a lot of change, but I wouldn't go back the way it was for anything. T has taken really well to H considering he never even wanted R or H in the home.

[Original Mike]

C is still the same: no job, sponging off friends, and currently mad at me because I won't give him any money. My response was "Get off your lazy {fill in here} and get a job. After four years, your song of "I'm looking" is finally played out.

M is also job-hunting after being laid off. He has moved back home and we are working things out. During the day, he cleans house and cooks supper if I ask him to, then goes out job-hunting in the afternoon. He had an interview today, so we're keeping our fingers crossed.

A is really enjoying his freshman year of college. He likes his classes, has joined some intramural sports teams, and spends every afternoon working out at the student center. This weekend, he's getting a laptop, so he's really stoked.

RC is just an amazing kid. At Satan's Group Home, he was making all D's, now he has 4 A's and 2 B's!! He's the only junior taking senior English and has the second highest grade in the class! he's joined a couple of clubs through school and even went on his first date last weekend. He is a joy!

R just finished his soccer season with a heart-breaking 1-0 loss in the semi-finals. He is on the honor roll with 5 A's, 2 B's, and 1 C. I testified this week at the TPR trial and we're expecting the motion to be granted within 30 days. R had some adjustments with M moving back home and A and RC moving in, but he's now becoming a master at annoying and aggravating his older brothers!

[AmyAnne]

Austin is in 7th grade. His grades are good. We had a minor bullying issue with a kid on the bus but it sounds to me like Austin was following the lead of other kids and did not realize what a damaging thing he was doing until the principal and I brought it to his attention, at which point he became contrite and apologetic.

Soccer is into it's 3rd week. They've lost 1 game, won 2, and he's scored 2 goals! (Which is pretty danged impressive, since he's goalie for 50-75% of the game!)

I am preparing for my first dance show with a new clogging group and my legs are screaming in protest.

[MO_SingleDad-2B]

Well, I do not yet have kids to update you on, so here's my latest:

• I'm about 1/3 of the way thru the required training classes to get licensed for foster care/adoption. Fingerprints are done. Waiting for my state social worker to set me up with pre-licensing home visits with an agency they contract with.
  
• Went to a matching event about 2 hours south of me a few Fridays ago. They had several fraternities from one of the state universities sponsoring various games, pie throwing contest and food booths. Every kid had a fraternity 'buddy' matched with them to keep them entertained and help out in any way. Got a few names jotted down and chatted with some social workers.

Hopefully I'll be done with all my requirements by the end of the year and can then move on to matching up with a kiddo!

[crazycanuck]

I'm new to the board, but figure I'll make my intro my "update"

My adopted kiddo seems to have been body-snatched and replaced by a well-behaved and sweet natured child. Total Twilight Zone experience, but I'm diggin' it. He's handling a change in support staff at school beautifully, and is actually processing some grief issues from his past that were trigerred by one of the new staff (she knew him in his last placement). Completely unlike him to handle and work through things, but I'm not complaining! Kind of waiting with baited breath for the raging devil to reappear though - I'm sure all you folks with kids with RAD and/or PTSD know what I'm talking about!

FS J is doing the same as ever. I can't believe I just clued in, after 5 years of caring for him, that so much of his behaviour is due to RAD. I'd forgotten those letters were even in his file - I've been so focussed on D, who is more challenging, and always wrote J's behaviour off as well, I don't know. He frustrates me beyond belief, but since he's never aggressive those behaviours haven't been a huge priority. Mind you, I say never aggressive, yet he got wound up by some tickling play at a birthday party the other night (dh and I were goofing around) and punched dh in the jaw!!! Was meant as play, but carried quite a wallop coming from a guy who's over 6 feet tall and doesn't realize he's a grown man now! Dh was seeing stars!

FS C is doing well over all, but I'm having a hard time with him at the moment. He's got dysphagia as a result of his disability, so is fed purees and thickened fluids only (doesn't feed himself, has to be fed, functions at the infant level developmentally). He's got a big hate-on for me feeding him that started the same time as school, and I don't know what's prompted it. Vomitting every time I feed, gagging when I greet him at feeding time, etc. very frustrating. I fought so hard for him to NOT get a feeding tube, as he can eat orally and didn't want to put him through surgery, and now the bugger doesn't want to eat for me! This morning I switched feeding locations (usually he eats breaky in his room, so we went out to the kitchen), and the switch up seemed to help - no gagging. So hopefully that's the start of better things...

DH and I are starting the adoption process all over again, maybe. Kind of convoluted, but my cousin who I'm very close with has two adopted babies (siblings), and we share a connection to the birth mom through a long-time friend. Birth mom is likely to be pregnant again due to her lifestyle, and should show up at a local hospital to deliver any time from now on (last baby is now 8 months old). She's not able to parent (she's an addict, babies were born meth addicted ). So, trying to get approved for concurrent planning, to be a foster-to-adopt home for the next baby she has...Normally there'd be a really long wait for that here (about 4 years), but because of our connection to birth mom's family, and to the adoptive family of the siblings, we're hoping our family would be given priority...Should hear something from the sw as to whether this is even a possibility next week. DH is less on-board with adopting than me, he's worried about long-term issues with a drug-exposed baby, as well as how hard it will be parenting a baby through withdrawals. Plus our adoption process for D was so convoluted and emotional - he's not eager to hop back on that rollercoaster. However, he's coming around. Fact is, I WANT A BABY. We've been ttc for FIVE YEARS, I'm going to be 30 in a couple of months, and the ol' biological clock is not just ticking, it's shrieking lol. In our most recent discussion about this adoption situation, he said to me "it seems desperate" - ya think?! DH is generally fabulous, but sometimes men just don't get it.

[aspenhall]

Behaviorally we're doing great, but we all have Influenza A (just found out last night).

[Kerbchek]

The update here is a good one for the most part. J's first year in high school has started out with some struggling grades. I was afraid he'd be "thrown in" too quickly with our rapid transition from a completely self contained special school last year to all day in the comprehensive building... but I think he's adjusting well socially and after I reminded the teachers of the accomodations on his IEP and reminded them I'm a fellow special education teacher in the district and am only a call or e-mail away, I think things will get better with his grades.

With M, our new little guy who we've been matched with, it's wait, wait, wait, wait, and wait longer... Everyone who told me the ICPC process would be lengthy was correct... the sending state is in dire straits with their finances and now our state has announced an emergency across the board 10% budget cut, I'm afraid this process will be drug out even longer.

So far all the steps in the ICPC process has been favorable... things are positive and looking good, just slow, slow, slow. People keep asking me when we get to go visit him and ultimately bring him home, and I have NO idea... maybe next month, maybe December, maybe not till spring... it's driving me nuts, so I'll just continue to find things to keep me busy and keep my mind off the wait.

[athikers]

Everyone's updates are so great

Things here seem to have fallen into a groove.

Tucker is doing well. He's been sick for two weeks but is finally getting over it (I think!). His eating is picking up again and we're continuing to try to wean him from medical formula to whole milk. Then he will be on all table foods Tonight I was drinking hot chocolate and he grabbed my arm and pulled it toward him... to which I said "Are you hungry" and the little cutie signed and said "hungry" and promptly ate a 200 calorie granola bar. I stopped counting calories for him today... this is the first time in... over two years that I have not been counting the calories going into either my foster son or my son. Weird. His behavior therapy continues to go quite well. He knows pretty much all his shapes & letters, some numbers and colors.
He is talking more and more, but it is still just labeling... we shall see if he can move beyond that. His play is also getting to be more deliberate, which is awesome. He actually interacts with his sister without direction from us. And he plays with toys appropriately probably 50% of the time when not directed by us. HUGE improvements. He has a major eye surgery coming up, yuck. And he goes back to the brain injury clinic next month for his six month check in. We are hoping to finally get either a CT or an MRI of his brain to find out first hand the current extent of his injuries. All the information we have, which is not much, from FL is out of date.

Pixie... I have no words, my sweet baby is two and a half. She is adorable one minute and absolutely draining the next. She is not my first two year old, she is my 4th. She is harder than all the others put together. Her mother has various mental health diagnosis and I am beginning to wonder with increased concern whether we are headed down the same road with our daughter. That said, today... she was mostly a perfect angel. I love her to pieces, but she is a handful. Harder for me to parent than her severely brain injured, autistic brother.

[Lylac]

Great updates!

Whew! The home remodling demon has held us captive for the last month. We've finished our bathroom, the boys room and just like a few finishing touches to the girls room and our bedroom...like hiding cable wires. We finally..just tonight, moved our furniture back into our room. We plan on doing the kids bathroom and hallway, before the holidays. Then start on the other half of the house after New Years.

My kids start Fall break on Monday.

Lyla is doing great for the most part. She's becoming a little sassy at times, but thats normal...and we love seeing her do normal things...even the ones that make us nuts.

Bremon is still my clown! That boy can turn anything or situation into a party. He's trying to say more words and is working hard in therapy with his walking..still not walking, but tries with assistance..and we're excited for him.

Nate is definately a momma's baby! He started school this week. I really felt lost without him..specially when we went shopping. Even though, it's only been a few days, I can tell that he really is enjoying going and being with the other kids. He is such a sweetheart, giving death grip hugs and puts his mouth to your face..his way of giving kisses. He;s come along way, from not even letting you anywhere around his face, to letting you touch even his mouth.

Abbie is still my rollie pollie. She weighs 34 pounds (1 pound more than Nate) She is more vocal now and squeals to get your attention. The other day she was coo'n "I good" over and over. She's laughing out loud more often too. She still has her nights where she wants to stay up all night and play. She's really good though and doesn't wake us up...too often. We still don't have a date for her to o to Nashville for surgery yet. The specialist are backed up til after the new year. Since her PET tubes came out, it resolved her breathing issues, and she's hardly ever sick now. Thats huge for her!

The biggest news is that my kids now have their very own bus, driver and aid. We get to sleep an our later and they are home within 30 minutes now. We still havn't settled our case against the BOE and county. It may take years to get there. The important thin is that we are seeing major changes now, because of it.

Tim's knee is still bothering him, and the docs have pretty much done all they can for it. His body is trying to reject the artificial joint. It still swells and hurts, so now he has to see a pain managment doc.

All 4 kids got new hand splints, some got new leg/ankle braces, Lyla has to start to wear a brace on her leg again. This one will go from her thigh, down to her toes. Her tendon surgery isn't workin as well now. But we were told that as she grew, we would have to have surgery again to lengten it.

Me? I've been so busy with all this DIY stuff. that on most days, I don't even know what day it is...other than that, I'm doing great, now that the P-monia is gone.

[arkansas parent]

I don't have much to update ,but here it goes.

"A" (our 13yo DD) has a 15yo boy friend (just see each other at school and talk on the phone some) . He seems nice enough, but his parents are nuts. They act as if the kids are getting married. Everytime I talk to them I make a point to remind them my daughter is THIRTEEN. I am about ready to tell them to "Back the H**L off and leave them alone". I was warned they were "clingy' and "controlling" but they are messing with the wrong mama. DD likes "boyfriend" but is getting sick of his parents comments.
She is doing O.K at school. She loves band and may play at the football game Friday.

"T" is in the 1st grade this year. His grades are GREAT. His behavior is better than last year. The teacher did say he is very sensitive about the smallest things. He still talks non-stop. He gained 12 lbs and grew 3 inches in a year. I was able to locate one of his former foster moms. She said she would make me copies of all the pictures she has of him (around age 3), but I haven't got them yet. I also got in contact with a friend of his bmom. I found out T has and older brother and younger brother. I knew about the younger sibling but never heard anything about an older brother. I'm not even sure DHS knew about the older child. His bmom doesn't have internet so I haven't had contact with her directly.

Baby A is a very active almost 16 mo old. He is into everything. I get a million hugs and kisses everyday from him. But I also get bite, hite, pinched and head bunted. He is still a "mama's boy",but is starting to want daddy more. If it was up to him he would stay outside all the time. He loves to dig in the sandbox, swing ,and pick my flowers.
We have had a semi-open adoption with his bmom since he was 9 mo. We email several time a month. The man she thinks is his bdad was killed a few months ago. There is alot more to the story.

I finally made myself get a "womens" exam at the doctor. Everything seemed fine but I want know for sure untill the test come back.
DHS called to see if I wanted to close our home or update our info. I told them to close us for now. (we have 5 yrs to 'renew" without having to redo classes).
We need to do some fixing -up around the house but haven't started yet. It seems like everyone around me is pregant, and I'm surprised it really doesn't bother me. But I am getting sick of hearing "you will be next" um, no I wont.