[greenmama]

Should read ODD in the title. Tips for parenting a child with oppositional defiant disorder? Anyone?

[greenrobin]

1. Do not take it personally--they defy everyone.

2. Set your expectations and stick to them.

3. Be prepared for a full out argument on everything, including what day it is, because that's just the way it is.

4. Don't spring sudden changes on kids with ODD. You're just asking for trouble

5. See number 1


Seriously, it's a tough road. I was informed on Tuesday that people with ODD can benefit from anti-anxiety meds, although that was never offered when Sonny was living at home. Learn to stay neutral whenever they are in the throes. Don't allow yourself to engage in their drama.

I love my son, but he was a major energy drain when he was doing the ODD boogie. But then, he also has bipolar and ADHD, so that might have been part of the problem.

Good luck in figuring out your ODD kid. They are a puzzle with continually shifting parts. What worked on one day didn't work the next. I hope your child is far easier than mine was!

And definitely take care of yourself

[lucyjoy]

Phrasing things as choices rather then commands stops the chemicals that tell them to fight from going so crazy.

Instead of time for bed-would you rather put your pjs on or brush your teeth first? It really makes a difference.

[Mkuhlmann06]

I also never start a sentence off with "No,...".. I always start of with, "yes, but after xxxx" or "Yes, when you have completed xxx".

I agree with the choices. I don't engage in an argument over everything. This or this. Although sometimes they'll come up with a third. I thank them for their offer - sometimes I allow it to be considered - sometimes I don't and stick with original two. Or sometimes I'll ask them to come up with a recommendation or two choices that I would be ok with. Tone of voice helps too...kids react differently just based on tone - never even hearing the words or choices.

My DS came to us ODD, so we did a lot of these things from the start of his placement...only to find out, he really wasn't ODD, but I still use the technique with all 3 of my kids. It really does let me pick my battles, as it works well with just plain old teenage behaviors.

Good luck!!

[wordsmither]

read "the explosive child" very helpful. But very exhausting to implement.