[Indy]

You know, I am so sick and tired with this "existing" crap. I want to be moving foward, experiencing life...not merely living day to day.

I RESOLVE FROM THIS DAY FORWARD TO LIVE LIFE TO ITS' FULLEST, REALIZING THAT IT COULD ALWAYS BE MY LAST! Kid issues or not!

Today I am working on creating a "bucket list" of things I want to do for the rest of my life. It will include: travel desires, financial goals, things that seem neat to learn, and personal growth.

Anyone want to join me?

[Barksum]

Sure! I'll join in between , homeschooling, the ONE community service I volunteer for, and attempting to be a wife happily meeting the various needs of her husband (which, by the way, is a quote out of some marriage enhancement article and had me all paranoid that I wasn't doing the whole marriage thing in the Right Way. I think I drove Dh a bit nuts because he finally sat me down and told me to quit being bizarre and go back to being my normal nasty (as in snarky and hormone ridden) self! ).

Seriously, I've been working to make some of these goals myself. My kids are still little and pretty needy for the daily things (like help getting their shirts off!) but we are progressing along so that someday, maybe, I'll be able to pull out a project and not have it demolished before I can finish it.

Dh and I have some goals together. We are working on them...slowly. LOL It does help to remember that the minutia can be important, but it isn't the be-all and end-all of our lives.

[sundara]

Indy -

I SO agree with you. DH and I are also at the point of exhaustion/burnout from caregiving, and we realized some time ago that we need to get out of this mode and into the moving forward mode.

The hardest part we are finding is that the crises keep occurring (and for the last 9 weeks, escalating) and its hard to get the focus onto the positive planning stage when the house is (figuratively) burning down around you.

Soooooo.... we took a timeout (3 whole hours, first time in months) and went to dinner alone. No kids. No rush. A nice place, and just talked. It was quite a struggle to keep the kids/crises out of the conversation, but we mostly succeeded.

Our really small start to a bucket list:
- a nice vacation with just DH and I - someplace like New Zealand (me) or Australia (DH)
- ski again (have some health issues that currently hamper this one)
- fall in love with DH all over again, explore local areas with him
- downsize all this other stuff (home, taxes, worries, crises) and refocus on the positives that are out there in the world, while finding a way to still be caring parents instead of overwhelmed ones.


On another note, here is a list of current toolbox items that we use to cope - maybe this helps or maybe folks can add to this too:

- an hidden envelope where I stash some mad money whenever I have a few extra dollers, so DH and I can go out without guilt (I try to keep at least $100 in there)
- Humor CD's - any comedian I can find. DH loves this too, we share them, and when stuff gets crazy and one of us can't deal with something - off we go for a drive in the car with some humor to help us get back on track
- adoption support group - finally found a local one where, even though my family currently has the most extreme issues of them all, I still have a place where others can understand and I can actively talk face-to-face with others about it
- ladies night once a month with some friends. (Indy, maybe you need a poker night with the guys - something like that...?)
- DH does fantasy football online with friends & goes out golfing whenever he can

[Barksum]

Oooo, good list Sundara! I'm contemplating on that now!

[lucyjoy]

I keep trying to work on this and God keeps laughing at my plans and handing me his own.

I am looking to find joy in the little things.