[mypov]

My kids have gone to the local mental health clinic as designated by their medicaid (they receive this as part of the special needs adoption agreement) and have been ever since they were my foster children. I have for the most part liked the workers there. When one of the therapists asked me to meet with a behavioral specialist to see if he might be able to help our kids. We met with him once and he was very pleasant. The kids liked him too. However, I was a little uncomfortable and told the therapist I did not want my kids to work with him. She was baffled and tried to persuade me for the next several weeks. I stuck to my guns, though I had no "good explanation." She told me time and again that "everyone just LOVES 'E' and he is the best behavioralist that she knew. I was not swayed and neither was my husband. This actually led to a falling out with the therapist and we switched to another one who accepted that we had a right to decided who works with our kids.

This morning I opened the local paper to find that he'd been arrested on 10 counts of aggravated child sex abuse charges. I was shocked......for a minute. Though I had felt something off about him I couldn't put my finger one- I never, ever would have thought there might be something to it. Granted, everyone is innocent until proven guilty- but I now know that I for one do not have to wonder if my child was a victim of his.

I think far too often parents place their children in harms way due to naivety, or in an effort to be nice or do what is socially expected. There is another man from our church that was assigned to meet with our daughter to talk about baptism with her (which happens at age 8 in our church). We would have been allowed to be present even, but still, I did not like his vibe and simply told him not to come back. I offered no excuse or explanation to him. I don't owe him one.

My daughter was severely sexually abused by her bio father- which makes me much more vigilant in an effort to protect her. Still, think of how many people as adults admit to being molested and abused by adults in a position of trust. How many of their parents ignored their intuition? Scary.

My kids do have a lot of wonderful men in their life but I closely monitor contact with ALL adults and never blindly trust. I know many, many other parents who can not say the same. I hope for their sake and their children's it turns out okay for them.

Just a reminder.....TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS and DON'T PUT SOCIAL POLITENESS OVER YOUR CHILDREN'S SAFETY!!!

[MilehighDad]

I'm really sorry you were so close to disaster. We had a similar experience with the dad of one of our son's friends. Except, it wasn't us that had the wierd feeling, it was him. The first time he went to his friend's house, he didn't like that this dad told him, "it's ok for you to watch an R-rated movie, we just won't tell your parents." We never sent him back to that guy's house, and 18 months later he was arrested for molesting his son's friends. So, not only do you have to trust your feelings, you have to trust your kids take on it, too. And, teach them to tell you when someone says it's ok to break your rules.

It was really scary, but like you, I'm glad we weren't the ones involved in the case and wondering if our child had been hurt and how. And, thanks for sending out the warning for everyone.